Aliens in Flying Saucer Say: We're here because it High Day!   PainfulPuns.com - Pot Puns, Weed Jokes, Green Grow-ners!

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Hulk Says: Happy High Day!
Q. Which era do pothead fossil hounds dig most? A. The Stone Age!

Q. What does a stoner who can fly call that skill? A. Enjointment!
Q. Why is Colorado's nickname the High Country? A. Peak Scenery, Bud!
Q. What do you call a pothead hula dancer? A. Shake 'N Bake!
What do we want? Time travel. When do we want it? irrelevant!
If the whole world smoke a joint at the same thime, there'd be world peace ... followed by a global food shortage!
Q. Why is Denver known as the Mile High City? A. 5280 Pot Shops!
Happy Cannabis Says: Happy Weed's Day!

 


Cannabis Puns, Weed Jokes, Flammable 420 Humor
Wake up and bake up on 420 for smokin' pot jokes, zoner humor, and stoner puns you ganja love.

Pothead Humor, 420 Stoner Jokes, Reefer Puns
(Because Inflammable THC Jokes and Weed Grower 420 TLC Could Never Be TOO Mainstream in Colorado, Dude!)
Warning: Proceed to 420 at Your Own Risk! Weed IS Funny in the CO Pipeline, but NOT at the NE Border Line!
| Weed Jokes and Cannabis Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | Blunt Weed Humor | 2 |
| Legal Weed Jokes | Colorado Cannabis Jokes | Mile High Buzz | Stoner Pick-Up Lines | 2 | 3 |
| Pot Poetry, Marijuana Mantras | Ganja Music Jokes | Pot Party Puns | Weedy Funny Munchies |
| Incredible Green Hulk | Spaced Out Aliens | Gnome Grown Weed Humor | Gnome Pothead Puns |
| Funny Stoner Monkeys | 2 | Animal Pothead Puns | Weed Light Bulb Jokes | Happy 420 Jokes |

Weed Leaf Says: Wake Up And Bake Up!Green Alien Asks: Where do Druid potheads vist on 420? A. Stonehenge!Chimp Chef Asks: What is a stoner chef's specialty? A. Baked Ziti!

Well-Timed 420 Quip: Occasionally, I smoke marijuana every single day. Time travel is what it is.

Classic Colorado Pick-Up Line: Hi, do you smoke pot? 'Cause weed be great together at 4:20!

Classic 420 Point to Ponder: All you need is 4 blunts for 20 Coloradans?

Q. Why do potheads enjoy these Painful 420 pot Puns?
A. 'Cause they're half-baked.

Colorado 420 Pick-Up Line: Hey, I'm feeling a little off today, but I bet you could turn me on!

Mile High 420-ism: Just Doob It!

Rockin' 420 Quip: Dude, this song smells amazing!

Timely 420 Point to Ponder: Did you ever stop to consider that every hour it's 4:20 someplace and someplace else?

Q. What do Denverites say on 420?
A. You're Ganja Enjoint the Day!

Zoner 420 Pick-Up Line: Hey, you're on fire! No, wait! That's just my blunt.

Q. What is a spaced alien's favorite recurring dream about 420?
A. Getting so high that he could eat a star.

Q. What does the Big Bad Wolf say on 420?
A. I'll huff and I'll puff, and I'll blow these trees down!

Q. What smokin' hot dish did the stoner chef serve up on 4/20?
A. Pot Pie.

Classic Colorado 420-ism: Can I be blunt?

Barely Legal 420 Point to Ponder: If a cop is high on pot, is that fried bacon?

4/20 Stoner Point to Ponder: Did you know eating Italian food may boost your meat-ta-ball-ism?

Q. What do you call a BYO cannabis party on 420?
A. Pot Luck.

Stoner Chef 420 Quote of the Day: There really aren't many good puns about Italian food other than a fusilli remarks.

Green Alien Says: I'm not as think as you stoned I am!Q. What is 421 known as? A. National Drug Test Day!Q. Which pot strain is preferred by Vegas Sinatra impersonators? A. Dooby Dooby Doo!

Sci-Fi 420-ism: I used to smoke weed. I still do, but I used to. Don't you just hate time paradoxes?

Q. What is 421 known as?
A. National Drug Test Day.

Timeless 420 Quip: Dude, it's 4:19. Close enough!

Colorado Cannabis Pick-Up Line: Hey, my friend and I are having a bake sale at 4:20. Wanna joint us?

Timeless 420 Quip: Dude, it's 2:40. Close enough!

Today's Smokin' 420 Quip: If you don't like weed puns, you're ganja have a bad time.

High Country 420 Pick-Up Line: Hey you, wanna come over and suck my bong?

Q. What defense did the grower use on 420?
A. Your Honor, weed is not a drug; it is flora. Therefore, I am a botanist.

Red, Green, Blue 420 point to ponder: In dog years, Willie Nelson is 420, isn't he?

Q. Which is a stoner's favorite Colorado Symphony Orchestra song?
A. Beethoven's 420 Symphony.

Classic Colorado 420 Pick-Up Line: Whoa, are you a joint? 'Cause you're smokin'!

Cannabis Pick-Up Line: Hey, you're so hot that I won't even need a lighter at 4:20!

No Evil Monkeys Ask: What do you call the dude who brings shroom to a party? A. A Fungi!Happy Burns Day!Bud Asks: What do you call it when a roah ash burns your shirt? A. A Pot Hole!

Q. Why are 420 jokes always so funny?
A. 'Cause it's just blunt humor.

Classic 420 Tip of the Day: As a part of a balanced breakfast, make a joint decision, and don't forget to eat your Weedies!

Q. Which hazy tune should be on your top 420 playlist?
A. Smoke a Little Smoke by Eric Church.

Q. What song is great to listen to while you're rolling up some blunts at 4:20?
A. Crumblin' Erb by OutKast.

Classic 420 Quip: I'm high OFF life, in a green way!

Baked 420 Quip: I'm high ON life, in a green way!

Q. Why are potheads so sexy on 4/20?
A. 'Cause they're smokin' hot and really mellow!

Q. What do a cooked fowl and a cowardly spaced alien have in common?
A. On April 20, they're both baked chickens.

Q. What is it called if you celebrate 4/20 by lighting up daily for a fortnight beginning on April 1?
A. On a roll.

420 Point to Ponder: Did you hear about the guy in Colorado who wants marijuana to be classified as a vegetable? He said it's an igenious way to get Americans to stop smoking pot!

Classic 420 Quip: In Colorado, the focus is on repairing pot holes, not disrepairing potheads. Go Broncos?

What is a pothead hula dancer's favorite day of the week? Fried Day!Q. How do sharks get high? A. Reefer!Pothead Gorilla Says: Saturday is the time for multi-slacking, not multi-tasking!

Stoner Point to Ponder: Hey, isn't nearly 4:20 somewhere(s) right about now?

Q. What time of the day do stoners always look forward to and back upon?
A. 4:20 AM and 4:20 PM.

Q. How did the romantic stoner propose to his girlfriend on 4/20?
A. He slipped her a bag of kush with a smokin' hot diamond ring in it and said, "Marriage, you wanna?"

Mile High 420 Quip: Whoever said, "Money Can't Buy Happiness," clearly has not visited a Colorado pot shop.

Q. Have you heard about the new Seaweed diet that surfaced on 4/20?
A. Yeah, you see weed and then you edible it.

Weedy Bad Come-On: Hey Calendar Girl, is today 4/20? 'Cause I want to THC you naked.

Classic 420 Point to Ponder: All you need is 4 blunts for 20 Coloradans.

Q. Why is Jay, the Budtender, in such high demand in the Mile High city on April 20?
A. Because he always gives his clients the straight dope.

Q. For maximum effect, when should you smoke pot on top of Pikes Peak?
A. 4:20 AM, High Noon, or 4:20 PM!

Q. What is the matronly woman's reason for zoning out on 4/20?
A. Because she is the mother of 4 20-something sons.

Stoner Poetic 420 Pick-Up Line: You must be as dope as weed, because right now you're all I need.

Q. Does marijuana make you stupid?
A. No, but it absolutely does make you laugh at stupid 420 jokes!

Q. Did the smoker get everything he wanted for Xmas? A. Bluntly speaking, no!Cannabis Says: Happy Rest-Day!Q. Why does Santa have three gardens? A. So that he can Ho Ho Ho!

Q. Which Colorado pot shop do tourists frequent when visiting Breckenridge on 4/20?
A. Higher Elevations.

Q. What do blonde stoners always take along on April 20 Colorado skiing trips?
A. High-powered gondolas, duh!

Colorado Stoner Ski Bum Pick-Up Line: Hey, what if I made a Loveland Pass at you at 4:20?

Classic Colorado 420 Pick-Up Line: Hey Bud, let's meet at 4:20. My Lips to yours!

420 Party Pick-Up Line: Hey, let's meet at 4:20! Dude is that am or pm? Yes?

Q. How do you know you were born into destiny as a pot head?
A. Your birthday is April 20.

Q. How did the guy know he was destined to become a pothead?
A. He was born on April 20 and his name is Bud.

In Colorado, some people treat their pets with medical marijuana. Which is great because cats need another reason to sit on the couch all day.

Zen 420 Quip: Somewhere out there, there is a tree, timelessly producing oxygen and THC so you can breathe.

Q. Which autumn holiday is celebrated by pot heads throughout North America?
A. DanksGiving.

420 Stoner Pick-Up Line: Hey Bae, if you spend the night on April 19, we can wake up and bake up in the morning!

Q. How do you know you were born into destiny as a pot head?
A. Your 20th birthday was in April.

Q. How do you know you were destined to become a pot head?
A. You married a girl named April 20 years ago.

Q. When Colorado Santa's not wearing red, what is his favorite color?
A. Ganja Green.

Q. Which of Santa's reindeer is a Colorado pot head's favorite?
A. Blitzen.

Q. Why did the pothead leave milk and cookie edibles out on 420 eve?
A. For Willie Nelson. Only in Colorado!

Cannabis Pick-Up Line: Hey Bae, it's almost 4-20 again. How about we light up the afternoon just like we did yesterday?

Q. How do you know you were born to be a pot head?
A. Your mother's name is April ... Something?

Q. How do you know you were destined to be a pot head?
A. You met a girl named April 20 years ago.

| Weed Jokes and Cannabis Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | Blunt Weed Jokes | 2 |
| Legal Weed Laughs | Colorado Cannabis Jokes | Mile High Buzz | Stoner Pick-Up Lines | 2 | 3 |
| Pot Poetry, Marijuana Mantras | Ganja Music Jokes | Pot Party Puns | Weedy Funny Munchies |
| Incredible Green Hulk | Spaced Out Aliens | Gnome Grown Weed Humor | Gnome Pothead Puns |
| Funny Stoner Monkeys | 2 | Animal Pothead Puns | Weed Light Bulb Jokes | Happy 420 Jokes |

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| Sci-Fi Jokes | Seasonal Puns | Sports Jokes | Tech Gadget Jokes | Travel Jokes | Weather Jokes | Web Jokes |

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