Pot Pun: Gnoming Green   PainfulPuns.com - Puns, Jokes, Word Play, Groaners, Ouch!

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ET Chef Says: My wife made me a green hamburger for St. Patrick's Day? I asked how she colored it, ans she said she didn't know what I was talking about!
Pot Humor: Before and After Shots of Hulk Gnoming Green
Q. Why did the grocery store sell green and purple cabbage? A. Because two heads are better than one!
What is the difference between spinach & boogers? Kids won't eat spinach.

Q. What's green and red and guides Santa's sleigh? Rudolph the Red-Nosed Pickle!
Q. What do you call an Irish pothead? A. O'Blarney Stoned!
Gnome Grown Means Gnoming Green
What did the alien say to the grower? Take me to your weeder!


Green Man Jokes, Leafy Green Puns, Sick Greens
Grow along with going green puns, little green man humor, greens groans and mean green jokes.

Green Jokes, Mint Green Puns, Color Green Humor
(Because Healthy Green Jokes Could Never Be TOO Mainstream For the Jolly Green Giant or Mr. Green Jeans!)
Warning: Go Green with Dew Caution! Lush green jokes, raw humor, lively laughs and unripe puns ahead.
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Hulk Asks: What is a great name for a gardener? A. Alonso Greene!Q. What's sour, green, and swims in an aquarium? A. A trop-pickle fish!Q. What should you do when you see a green alien? A. Wait until it's ripe!

Q. What do you call a little green man surfing the Internet in your garden?
A. Your brother-in-lawn!

Q. How do green gardeners send mail?
A. Via the compost office.

Green Thumb Chat Up Line: Hey babe, I dig gardeners!

Poetic Stoner Wisdom of the Day: Green ganja grass really kicks your ass.

Q. What is Green and Smelly?
A. The Hulk's farts!

The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. Then it's soaked in blood and tears.

St. Patrick's Day Point to Ponder: If you drink green beer on St. Patrick's Day, is that considered a vegetable?

Q. Why does The Hulk hate Painful green Puns?
A. Because they make him laugh his shirt off and then he's not angry anymore!

Green Gardening Wisdom: Ecological gardeners always compost, because a rind is a terrible thing to waste!

Q. What happens if you eat too many green peppers?
A. You get a bell-y-ache.

Q. Why did the green grower get kicked out of the garden?
A. He took a pea.

Q. How do Colorado green chile chefs live their lives?
A. They season the day.

Q. What does an angry green pepper do?
A. It gets jalapeno face.

Q. Who wrote the cookbook, Green Chilie for Gringos?
A. Anna Hyme.

Q. Which green vegetable do pirate prefer?
A. ARRRtichokes.

Green Garden Wish of the Season: If only I could grow green stuff out in my garden, as easily as I do in my refrigerator...

Q. What does LGM stand for?
A. Little Green Man. And, that's not even a joke!

Q. What does LGM stand for?
A. 'Cause he does't have time to sit around.

Mr. Spock: What is a hemorrhoid?
Doctor McCoy: A green blooded, pointy-earred male from outer space.

Q. What do little green men like to put in their hot chocolate?
A. Martian-mallows.

LGM Alien Point to Ponder: Do Little Green Men prefer Hatch chilies from New Mexico, or Colorado's Pueblo chilies?

Q. Why did the space alien go to the doctor after eating Hatch chilies on his visit to Roswell?
A. 'Cause he was feelin' a little green.

Q. Why have there been so many UFO sightings in Colorado's high country lately?
A. Because little green men got all of the Bigfoot hunting permits this year.

When the teacher lectured avout leafy green veggies, the pupil learned a chard lesson!Alien says: You might be from Colorado if you believe in going green!Trying to putt with so many geese on the green is for the birds! and that's putting it mildly!

Q. What do you call a green garden veggie in the basement?
A. Cellar-y.

Q. Why did the lettuce cross the road?
A. Because it was green.

Q. What is the extra charge for the side salad at the golf course clubhouse?
A. A greens fee.

Going Greens Groan of the Day: When my wife packs me a salad for lunch, all I want to know is what I did wrong.

Q. What else is big and green and sings?
A. Elvis Parsley.

Green Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, are you salad? 'Cause I think I'm falling in lovage.

Q. What is a little spaceman's favorite color?
A. Bud, in Colorful Colorado, it's definitely green.

Q. Why do ETs in Colorado enjoy Painful pot Puns?
A. 'Cause they're both green, short, and blunt.

Q. Why do little green space men like working in Colorado's legalized marijuana industry?
A. 'Cause there's no grass ceiling!

Q. What is a little green man's weed source?
A. Mother Earth.

Q. What do time traveling aliens call their little green vacation in the Mile High City?
A. Time Off!

Q. What do you call a Martian who frequents golf courses?
A. A little green bogey man.

Q. Why do frogs love St. Patrick's Day?
A. Because they're already wearing green!

Green Love: Kiss me, I'm High-Rish!

Q. Why do gnomes like little green man jokes?
A. Because they have nothing to do with leprechauns.

Q. What does the Green Giant wear when he goes to a corporate board meeting?
A. A three peas suit.

Q. How did the unripe strawberry feel about the ripe strawberry?
A. It was green with envy!

Q. Who is Hulk's favorite band? A. Green Day!Q. What's green and swims in the sea? A. Moby Pickle!Q. What is green and goes to summer camp? A Brussels Scout

Q. What do you have if you have a big green ball in each hand?
A. The Hulk's attention!

Q. What is Bruce Banner's favorite color?
A. Well, it sure as hell isn't green!

Q. Why did The Hulk flub his band audition?
A. Because he was so green.

Q. What do you get if you cross a big green monster and a ballpoint pen?
A. The Ink-Credible Hulk!

Q. What is the Green Goblin's favorite band?
A. Smashing Pumpkins.

Q. What color is a US dollar bill?
A. Mint green.

Q. What does it sound like when a colorful telephone answers?
A. Green, Green. Yellow?

Q. What is green and hangs from trees in Africa?
A. Giraffe snot.

Q. What did the yellow lemon say to the green lime?
A. Sour you doing?

Zesty Fruit Fact of the Day: Did you know that yellow lemons and green limes like to fight? Yes, they're bitter rivals.

Q. What do you get if you cross a yellow mummy with a green mummy?
A. A golden moldy!

Q. Why are The Hulk's pants purple?
A. Because they orange green, due to basic color theory.

Q. Where does The Hulk get all his bell peppers?
A. At the greenhouse.

Q. Why did The Hulk turn red instead of green?
A. Because he forgot to use sunscreen!

Q. Why can't The Incredible Hulk ever complete a paint by numbers picture?
A. Because all the paint is green.

Q. Why can't The Incredible Hulk ever complete a paint by numbers picture?
A. Because all his paint is green.

Q. What is green and pecks on tree? Woody Wood Pickle!Stoner Wolf Says: Welcome to Colorful Colorado! Hey, GREEN is a color, too!Q. What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign? A. The drunk runs it, but the stoner waits for it to turn green!

Q. What do you call a pickle in disguise?
A. The Emerald Pimper-dill.

Q. Why do pickles usually make dreadful domestic partners?
A. Because they're always so green with envy.

Q. What is a naughty pickle's worst sin?
A. Being green with envy.

Q. What is green and flies?
A. A pickle in a cafeteria food fight.

Q. What is green and penetrates walls?
A. A pickle, but you have to throw it really hard!

Q. What do you call somebody who doesn't like green vegetables?
A. One who marches to a different beet.

Q. Why did the green Granny Smith apple turn red?
A. It saw the salad dressing!

If you're new to Colorado, always get the details from your beer tender or bud tender before you order the seasonal 420 Craft Beer or any dank libatation named Green Flash or Green Flush!

Q. Which craft beer does a zombie on the run consume at a Colorado brew pub?
A. Green Flesh.

Q. What was the hipster alien doing on his green vacation to Colorado's high country?
A. Blazing a trail off the galactic mainstream.

Colorado Point to Ponder: More Bigfoot sightings have been reported since Cannabis was legalized. Coincidence, or is Bigfoot here to go green, too?

Q. Which pot shop do movie stars frequent when filming in Colorado's high country?
A. The Green Room.

Mile High Pick-Up Line: Wow, your eyes are as green as Denver, Colorado!

Q. Why don't little green men get into arguments?
A. Because they always take the high road!

Q. Which big green character really makes The Hulk angry?
A. The Jolly Green Giant.

Jolly Green Giant Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, no I'm not The Hulk. But, believe me, I can show you something gigantic, green, and largely incredible.

Q. What do you call blows from the Green Hulk when he's angry?
A. Pot shots.

Q. Why does Bruce Banner always recycle?
A. He believes in going green.

Q. Why did Taco Bell add green chili to the menu?
A. So The Hulk would know what to order and not get h-angry!

Gnoming Green: Gnome & Hulk Before and AfterQ. What did the red light say to the green light? A. Don't look, I'm changing!Hulk & Gnome Pot Humor: Gnoming Green, Before & After

Incredible Trivia: Going green, Colorado style, is how The Hulk mellows back into Bruce.

Q. Beside the Green Hulk, which superhero is a bona fide pot head?
A. Spider-Man 'cause he's in love with Mary Jane.

Q. Why does The Incredible Hulk resent the Jolly Green Giant?
A. Because Green Giant uses corny pick-up lines like a superpower.

Superhero Pick-Up Poetry in Motion: Iron Man is red, The Hulk is green. You are the hottest babe I've ever seen!

Q. What do you call a sick green extraterrestrial?
A. An Ailin' Alien!

Q. What do you call a little green spaceman with three eyes?
A. Aliiien.

Q. Why are there currently so many UFO sightings in Denver?
A. Because Little Green Man is the best selling Cannibis strain in town!

Q. Which Star Wars character grows the best weed?
A. Yoda, because two green thumbs, he has.

Two green aliens were sitting at the Space Bar. One says, "Gjfk yuto z crpxit!" The other says, "Dude, go home. You're drunk!"

Q. Why did the traffic signal turn green?
A. It wanted to GO eco-friendly.

Q. Why wasn't the new traffic signal installed yet?
A. They were waiting for city officials to give it the green light.

Q. Why did the green light turn amber in October?
A. Because it was fall.

Red-Eyed Stoner Come-On: Hey girl, your eyes are even greener than the weed I'm smokin'!

Q. Where do green crayons go to vacation?
A. Colorado's High Country.

Q. Why do little space men always turn green when they land on Earth?
A. Turbulence, and beer on St. Patrick's Day!

Alien Point to Ponder: Would an Earthling pinch a naked green alien on St. Patrick's Day?

Q. Why do frogs love St. Patrick's Day and The Hulk?
A. Green is the color of frog love. Ew!

Weedy Fun Pick-Up Line: Hey girl, is your name Green Giggles? 'Cause you are putting a big smile on my face.

Bro at the Bar: Why are you wearing one red sock and one green sock?
Colorblind Guy: I don't know, but I have another pair just like these at home.

Q. Why did Santa Claus say when he visited the green garden?
A. Hoe, Hoe, Hoe!

Big Green Point to Ponder: If The Hulk is so Incredible, how do his pants hang in there?

Q. Why is The Hulk so concerned about global warming?
A. He's really into green living.

Did you hear Chuck Norris once arm wrestled The Hulk? The loser had to paint himself green. Colorado is brutal!

Q. What is a Farmacist?
A. Someone who deals in green meds.

Q. How do you know when you've taken going green too far?
A. When you green out, Dude!

When David Banner gets mad, he turns into Colorado? Going green, Colorado style, is how The Hulk mellows back into Bruce.

Q. How did The Hulk know it was time to bluntly get his anger under control?
A. He was itching to go green!

Hulk Pick-Up Line: Hey hottie, they don't call me Incredible just because I'm green.

Hulking Point to Ponder: When David Banner gets mad and goes green, does he turn to Colorado?

Hulking Pick-Up Line: Hey babe, once you go green, you'll never go mean.

Eco Point to Ponder: Do puns about going green make The Hulk angry?

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Painful Jokes & Groaner PunsPot Puns, Weed Jokes, Green Grow-ners! Painful Puns, Punny Funs
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