Big Ape Asks: Which pot strain is preferred by strangers in the night? A. Dooby Dooby Doo!   PainfulPuns.com - Pot Puns, Weed Jokes, Green Grow-ners!

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Q. What do you call it when two cities with legal cannabis get together? A. A Super Bowl!
Q. How many potheads does it take to change a light bulb? A. Screw it! We've got lighters!
Q. What kind of pipe do potheads prefer? A. Stoneware!
Q. If two potheads are in the back of a car, then who is driving? A. The Cop!

 


Weed Humor, Pot Puns, Funny Marijuana Jokes
Go green with pothead jokes, weedy funny stoner puns, Mile High humor and 420 laughs.

Stoner Jokes, Cannabis Humor, Blunt Puns
(Cannabis Comedy Could Never Be TOO Mainstream in Colorado Because Laughter Is The Best Medicine!)
Warning: Proceed to the High Country at Your Own Risk! Weed IS Funny in Colorado, but Doobie Do Be Careful!
| Weed Jokes and Cannabis Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | Blunt Weed Humor | 2 |
| Legal Weed Jokes | Colorado Cannabis Jokes | Mile High Buzz | Stoner Pick-Up Lines | 2 | 3 |
| Pot Poetry, Marijuana Mantras | Ganja Music Jokes | Pot Party Puns | Weedy Funny Munchies |
| Incredible Green Hulk | Spaced Out Aliens | Gnome Grown Weed Humor | Gnome Pothead Puns |
| Funny Stoner Monkeys | 2 | Animal Pothead Puns | Weed Light Bulb Jokes | Happy 420 Jokes |

Hulk Asks: What do you call a killer cannabis comedian? A. The Grim Reefer!What is a stoner's idea of a balanced diet? A. A joint in each hand!Q. Why don't stoners get into arguments? A. They choose to take the high road!

Q. What does a stoner call it when a jar full of joints falls off the shelf and hits him in the head?
A. Blunt Trauma.

Stoner Point to Ponder: Why did they call it Reefer Madness considering pot heads are always happy?

Q. Why do spliffy joint puns always make you laugh?
A. Dude, you must be high!

Q. What's the name of the new cannabis edibles store across the street from Home Depot?
A. Weed Eaters.

Classic 420 Quip: As a part of a balanced breakfast, make a joint decision, and don't forget to eat your Weedies!

Colorado 420 Pick-Up Line: Hey, I'm feeling a little off today, but I bet you could turn me on!

Q. How can you tell that you've smoked too much weed?
A. You think everyone in the room is staring at you, but you're the only one in the room...

Q. What's the difference between a stoner and a politician?
A. Politicians don't inhale; they just suck.

Colorado Cannabis-ism: Weed. It's not just for glaucoma any more!

What did the bees say when they found the indica field? A. D-Bee Do-Bee Do!Cannabis Question: Why can't we all just get a bong?Q. What did the bees say when they found the sativa field? A. Se Habla Do-Bee Do-Bee do!

Q. How do Indica breeders greet each other at cannabis taste testing events?
A. High Five.

Q. What do you call an eagle that's soaring after visiting a marijuana grow?
A. A high flyer.

Zen 420 Quip: Somewhere out there, there is a tree, timelessly producing oxygen and THC so you can breathe.

If laughter is the best medicine and marijuana makes you laugh, doesn't that make marijuana the best medicine?

Q. How do folks in Vancouver greet each other on their favorite holiday?
A. Eh, Happy Cannada Day!

Q. Eh, what is the new pothead anthem of the Great White North?
A. O, Cannabis!

Q. What do ya call a 'lil humming bird on marijuana?
A. A high flyer.

Q. What did the pothead say when he tried the new cannabis indica strain?
A. Yo not ganja believe this!

DIA Pick-Up Line: Hey, I've got two boarding passes. Let's catch a flight and see where we land.

Hulk Asks: What do a cooked bird & a cowardly stoner have in common? A. They're both baked chickens!Big Ape Says: Sorry for my bluntness, that's just how I roll!Hulk Asks: How many stoners does it take to change a light bulb? A. Who Cares? It's too bright in here anyway!

Gamma Grass Taste Good! So, why Hulk so angry?

Q. What did Bruce Banner name his new pot shop in Boulder, Colorado?
A. One Hit Wonder.

Q. Why was the blonde Colorado stone-ette so happy today?
A. She was baked, like an apple pie!

Q. What do you call the happy ending of a stoner film?
A. Joint resolution.

Q. When is it good to have a tree in your pocket?
A. Fir when you'd just like a little nug.

Q. What did Mr. White name his new green edibles shop?
A. Breaking Bud.

Q. How did the director know his new stoner movie was a big hit?
A. Everyone was rolling in the aisles.

Classic Colorado 420-ism: Can I be blunt?

Q. How did the grow light know it was destined to become a renowned cannabis producer in Colorado?
A. It was manufactured on 4/20!

Grow Room Pick-Up Line: High, you wanna come over to light up my life and light up this blunt?

Q. How do you know you were destined to be a pot head?
A. You met a girl named April 20 years ago.

LoDo Pick-Up Line: Hey, would you consider a 3-way light bulb? You, me, and Maryjane.

Green Aliens Says: Happy Birthday Bud, buddy, your bud-ness, budman...budder from another mother...Q. What did the elder chimney say to the younger chimney? A. You're too young to smoke!Q. Which 1970s band do stoners still enjoy? A. The Doobie Brothers!

Q. What is the motto of spaced aliens?
A. Why can't we all just get a bong?

Q. What do stoners call tense scenes in UFO invasion movies?
A. High drama.

Q. What's the all-time classiest blues diddy about marijuana?
A. Champagne and Reefer by Muddy Waters.

Q. What do you call a spliff smoker who doesn't ever touch alcohol?
A. High and Dry.

Q. What do agriculturists call horny hemp growers?
A. Weed wackers.

Q. How do you know you were destined to become a pot head?
A. You married a girl named April 20 years ago.

Stoner Chef Pick-Up Line: Hi there, is your name Pot? 'Cause you are so hot!

Q. Why did the green grower get kicked out of the garden?
A. He took a pea.

Q. If the street lights are out, how do stoners find their way to the nearest pot shop?
A. There are other Indica-tors along the way.

Q. Huh? What was the marijuana music trivia question again?
A. It doesn't matter. The answer is: Hash Pipe by Wheezer.

Q. Why should you stay Mile High?
A. Because of the view up here!

Pot Head Pick-Up Line: Hey bambina, is your name Dona Juanita? 'Cause you are one hot lady, Jane!

| Weed Jokes and Cannabis Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | Blunt Weed Jokes | 2 |
| Legal Weed Laughs | Colorado Cannabis Jokes | Mile High Buzz | Stoner Pick-Up Lines | 2 | 3 |
| Pot Poetry, Marijuana Mantras | Ganja Music Jokes | Pot Party Puns | Weedy Funny Munchies |
| Incredible Green Hulk | Spaced Out Aliens | Gnome Grown Weed Humor | Gnome Pothead Puns |
| Funny Stoner Monkeys | 2 | Animal Pothead Puns | Weed Light Bulb Jokes | Happy 420 Jokes |

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