Q. How many real men does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None. Real men are not afraid of the dark!

Q. How many tourists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Five. One to hold the bulb, and four to ask for directions.

Q. How many surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Two. One to change the bulb, and one to remove the socket.

Q. How many Genius Bar techs does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.

Q. How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?
A. None. Efficiency experts only replace dark bulbs!

Q. How many theoretical physicists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None! They're trying to study dark matter and dark energy fascinates them!

Q. How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
A. How many can you afford?

Q. How many safety inspectors does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Four. One to screw in the bulb, and three to hold the ladder, for safety purposes.

Q. What time of the day do stoners always look forward to?
A. High Noon. 'Cause it doesn't matter if the light bulb is burned out, or not!

Q. How did the hipster burn his hands?
A. He changed the light bulb before it was cool!

Q. How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb?
A. It's a very rare and obscure number that you likely have not heard of.

Q. How many waitresses does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Three. Two to whine about it, and one to get the manager.

Q. How many Aries does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Just one. Wanna make something of it?

Q. How many Aries does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Just one, but it takes a lot of light bulbs. Smash!

Q. How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Just one, but 99 other actors will claim they could have done it better.

Q. How many economists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None. If the bulb market needs to be changed, it will correct itself.

Q. How many bankers does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Three. One to hold the bulb, and two to try to remember the combination.

Q. How many taxi drivers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Two. One to change it, and one to overcharge for the bulb.

Q. How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. That's not funny!

Q. How many schizophreniacs does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Well, he thinks it's a collective decision, but it's really only one.

Burned Out Point to Ponder: Why do potheads have problems re-hashing classic light bulb jokes?

Q. What is the difference between a light bulb and a pregnant woman?
A. You can unscrew the light bulb!

Q. How many Californians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. None. Californians screw in hot tubs!

Q. How many doctors does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None. Adderall reminds patients they can do it themself.

Q. How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?
A. A one, a two, a one two three four.

Q. How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?
A. One.

Q. How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. One, but for the light to continue to be broadcast, please send in your donation today.

Q. How many Broncos does it take to change a light bulb?
A. It depends which team's shadow the Broncos are in!

Q. How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Two. One to screw it in, and one to recover the fumble.

Q. How many college football players does it take to change a light bulb?
A. The entire team! And, they get a semester's credit for it.

Q. How many cows does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Two. One to hold the bulb, and the udder to turn the chair.

Q. How many bureaucrats does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Two. One to assure you everything possible is being done, and another to screw it into the water faucet.

Q. How many liberals does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Six. One to screw it in and five to screw up rebutting the neocons' lies about them.

Q. How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.

Q. How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Well, it depends what the script says...

Q. How many Cardassians does it take to change a light bulb?
A. It depends how many lights you see.

Green Lantern Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, just follow the light...

Q. How many golfers does it take to change a light bulb?
A. FORE!

Q. How many antibiotics does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None. They're there to kill it off, not help revive it!

Bright Stoner Come-On: Hey Mary Jane, I don't even need to change that light bulb 'cause you're on fire!

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