Q. How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None. They'd rather just prescribe Prozac.

Q. How many shrinks does it take to change a light bulb?
A. How long have you beleved you've been in the dark?

Q. How many screws does it take to change a shrink?
A. Bu;b, you really are burned out.

Q. How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Just one, 'cause they're used to dealing with screwballs.

Q. How many shrinks does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Why do you ask?

Q. How many shrinks does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Only one, but he'll have to ask his mother.

Q. How many medical specialists does it take to screw n a light bulb?
A. It depnds if it's an LED, CFL, ADHD, or OCD bulb.

Q. How many gynecologists does it take to replace a light bulb?
A. Just one, 'cause they're experienced in finding their way around the screw hole.

Q. How many proctologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. None. Patients never ask for that treatment.

Q. How many cosmetic surgeons does it take to upgrade a pair of light bulbs?
A. It depneds how much wattage you want.

Q. How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Just one, if he nose what he's doing.

Q. How many cosmetic surgeons does it take to replace a light bulb?
A. Just one, but you have to look at a lot of before and after photos first.

Q. How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Just one, but he'll also want to do something about that nose.

Q. How many surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Just one 'cause they cut straight to it.

Q. How many eye doctors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Just one, 'cause they clearly see the problem.

Q. How many US doctors does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Sorry, your health plan doesn't cover that procedure.

Q. How many doctors does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None. They just say the bulb's condition will turn around.

Q. How many physicians does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None. 'Cause the doctor can't see you now.

Q. How many general practioners does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None. After your initial office visit, ou'll get a referral to a specialist.

Q. How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Just one, but it will take at least six visits.

Q. Why don't doctors screw in light bulbs?
A. Malpractice insurance doesn't cover that.

Q. How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. I see. It is interesting that you used the wording, "screw in,"

Q. How many sex therapists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Two. One to screw it in, and the other to tell him he's screwing the wrong way

Q. How many shrinks does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Ir depends whether your mother changed the bulbs, or if your father did. If you changed the bulbs, you might as well just do it now, too.

Q. How many doctors does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None. Adderall reminds patients they can do it themself.

Q. How many doctors does it take to change a light bulb?
A. It depends on whether or not the bulb has health insurance.

Q. How many surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Two. One to change the bulb, and one to remove the socket.

Q. How many cardiokigists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Just one, 'cause they cut straight to the heart of the matter.

Q. How many surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None. They'd rather wait for a suitable donor and do a filament transplant at that time.

Q. How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. How many do YOU think it takes?

Q. How many shrinks does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Just one. They're not crazy.

Q. How many psychologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Geesh, it doesn't take a Ph.d to replace a burned out bulb, you know!

Q. How many schizophreniacs does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Well, he thinks it's a collective decision, but it's really only one.

Q. How many paranoics does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Who wants to know?

Q. How many dentists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Just one, but he'll tell you light bulb jokes while he's doing it.

Q. How many dentists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Open wide. This won't hurt a bit.

Q. How many dentists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Just one, 'cause they get right to the root of the problem.

Q. How many dentists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Just one, but it'll take a bite out of your wallet.

Q. How many podiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. 10. This little piggy wnet to the market, this little piggy stayed home...

Q. How many orthopedists does it take to replace a light bulb?
A. Just one, 'cause they get down to the bones of the matter.

Q. How many anesthesiologists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Please count bavkwards from 100...

Q. How many doctors does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None. They just get the nurse practitianer to write you a script for more Ritalin.

Q. How many nurse practioners does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Just one, but it will cost just as much as it would if a real doctor did it.

Q. How many nurses does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A.None. Nurses screw in vacant exam rooms...

Q. How many nurses does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None. They'e too busy doing most of the doctor's job.

Q. How many nurses does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None. They just pass it off to a nursing assistant.

Q. How many doctors does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Just one, but you'll have to stand in his shadow.

Q. How many pharmaceutical companies does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None. There is no magic pill for that – yet.

Q. How many antibiotics does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None. They're there to kill it off, not help revive it!

Q. How many pharmacists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Just one, every six hours for the next ten days...

Q. How many pharmacists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Sorry, you don't have any refills left.

Q. How many pharmacists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Your new bulb will be ready for pick up ant time after noon tomorrow. .If this is an emergency, please dial 911/

Q. How many Enterprise doctors does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Damn it Jim. I'm a doctor, not an electrician!

Q. How many sci-fi doctors does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None. That's what cyborgs are for.

Q. How many social scientists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. They do not change bulbs; they search for the root of the cause of why the bulb went out.

Q. How many doctors does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Just one, but she doesn't have an open appointment unil next Thursday.

Q. How many pre-med students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Screw. You said screw.

Q. How many bright medical interns does it take to screw n a light bulb?
A.Watts and watts.

Q. How many massage therapists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. One, but they have to have candles and music to do it.

Q. How many TV doctors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Please see page 69 of this week's medical dama script.

Q. How many TV doctors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Just two, but it takes a whole team of prop guys to build a bulb big enough.

Q. How many highly educated doctors does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. None. They have to be smart enough to know that light bulb is two words just to get into medical school/ .

Q. How many emergency care clinic physicians does it take to screw n a light bulb?
A. Just one, but it will cost you ten times the amount your primary care doctor would charge you for the visit.

Q. How many physiotherapists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None. They just give the bulb some exercises to do believing it will be better the next time they see it.

Q. How many doctors does it take to screw a light bulb?
A. We'll need your insurance card, and please fill out the stack of papers on this germy clipboard. And, here's a germy pen.

Q. How many fatalists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. What does it matter? We're all going to die anyway!

Q. How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Just one. They haven't been taught all the complexities and lucrative opportunities of that operation yet.

Q. How many greedy MDVIP doctors does it take to screw a light bulb?
A. None. MDVIP doctors don't screw light bulbs, they screw patients out of a minimum of $1800 per year on top of their health insurance.

Q. How many money-grubbing MDVIP doctors does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Pay me $1800 a year on top of your health insurance! If not, go F yourself!

Q. How many undertakers does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None. They just paint the old bulb black and use it again.

Q. How many necrophiliacs does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Just one. Excuse me, could you please test the socket with your finger, while I go get a new bulb?

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