Q. Why did the vampire need mouth wash? A. Because he had bat breath!   PainfulPuns.com - Painful Puns, Punny Funs, Groaners, Ouch!

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Has your tooth stopped hurting yet? I don't know? The dentist kept it!
Q. How are false teeth like stars? A. Both only come out at night!
Q. Why did Batman's date go so badly? A. Hw had bat breath!
Zombie Joke: Q. Why did the lion spit out the clown? A. Because he tasted funny!
Chimp says: Ignore your teeth and they will go away!

 


Word of Mouth Jokes and Forked Tongue Humor
Smile at tongue-tied puns, down-in-the-mouth humor, toothy grins and lip-smacking jokes.

Mouth Jokes, Tongue in Cheek Humor, Lip Puns
(Because Lippy Jokes and Weird of Mouth Puns Could Never Be TOO Mainstream When You Need Mouth to Mouth!)
Warning: Proceed Cautiously! Wide open jokes, bad breath LOLs, tasteless humor and orifice puns that bite ahead.
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| Body Jokes | Human Anatomy Jokes | Inner Body Puns, Back Jokes | Butt Jokes and Ass Pun |

Breath-taking wine humor
 
Dentists. Helping you put your money where your mouth is!
 
Q. Why does the dentist seem moody? A. He always looks down in the mouth!

Q. What is it called when suds get in your mouth while you're singing in the shower?
A. A soap opera.

Pirates know that ye who talks with full mouth speaks ingest!

Q. What should you do if your dog chews up you dictionary?
A. Take the words right out of his mouth!

Q. How do you avoid getting swallowed by a river while white water rafting in Colorado?
A. Stay away from the river's mouth.

Q. Why is it so hard to trust a snake?
A. 'Cause they speak with forked tongues.

Did you hear about the dentist who got a gold filling just to put his money where his mouth is?

Q. Why did the blonde think her mouth replacement surgery went wrong?
A. 'Cause a voice in the back of her head kept telling her that.

Wied Open Laugh of the Day: Yes, I'm into fitness. Fitness this whole pizza into my mouth.

Patient: I think I swallowed a pil
low.
Doctor: I see. How do you feel? Patient: A little down in the mouth.

Lame Excuse for Dieting Failure: I have fillings in my teeth. The magnets on my refrigerator keep pulling me into the kitchen!

If you can't sing with a mouth full of garbanzo beans, just hummus a tune!

Q. How do you desribe Painful mouth Puns?
A. Tongue in cheeky.

Pot Smoking Gnome Pick-Up Line: If I had a garden, I'd put my tulips and your two lips together.
 
Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south!
 
Q. How did the hipster burn his tongue eating pizza? A. He ate it before it was cool!

Q. What happens when two nervous snakes meet for the first time?
A. They get tongue-tied.

Wildcat Hookup Line: Hey girl, you wanna play lion tamer? Okay, you get on all fours and I'll put my head in your mouth.

Q. What's worse than lobsters on your grand piano?
A. Crabs on your mouth organ.

Q. How do you know an old battery still has some hot life left in it?
A. It teases you to test it to get you to lick it.

A blonde looked up to watch a bird flying above. Suddenly the bird pooped. So, the blonde said, "Good thing I had my mouth open, or that would have hit me in the face!"

Q. How does info travel so quickly from parrot to parrot?
A. Bird of Mouth!

Q. Why did the snowman visit an orthodontist?
A. To correct his frostbite!

Q. What should you name a dog that licks electrical cords and outlets?
A. Sparky.

Customer: My lunch is talking to me.
Deli Shop Waiter: Yes sir, that's why I don't recommend the tongue sandwich.

A tongue walks into a bar and yells out, "I can lick anyone here!" EW!

Dieting Tip of the Day: You can't lose weight by talking about it. You need to keep your mouth shut.

Q. What happens when two nervous frogs collide?
A. They get tongue-tied.

Q. How do you fix a broken tooth? A. With tooth paste!
 
Q. What is the best way to get a job at a dentist office? A. Word of mouth!
 
Q. Why did Bruce's dentist give him mouthwash? A. He had bat breath!

Q. What has a sharp set of teeth, but no mouth?
A. A saw blade.

ER Doctor Come-On: Hey bae, I am an expert in mouth to mouth.

Q. How are tight-fitting underwear and smiles alike?
A. Both lift your cheeks.

Q. Why do you forget about a tooth right after the dentist pulls it out of your mouth?
A. Duh! Because it goes right out of your head!

Dental Point to Ponder: Why do dentist jokes make you feel down in the mouth?

Q. What's the best way to find a painless dentist in your neighborhood?
A. Word of mouth.

Q. How does info travel so quickly among dung beetles?
A. Turd of mouth!

Q. What do you get if you cross a cell phone with a bottle of mouthwash?
A. A TeleScope!

Q. What do cannibals pop in their mouths to freshen their breath?
A. Men-toes.

Q. What has a fine set of teeth, but no mouth?
A. A comb.

Q. What do bratty teenagers and frogs have in common?
A. Both have big heads that consist mostly of mouth.

Q. What do you call it when a bratty teenage bat mouths off?
A. Battitude.

Q. How would a vampire manage with only one fang? A. Just Grin and Bare It!
 
Q. What shold you do if you have yellow teeth? A. Wear a brown tie!
 
Q. What's the difference between a pit bull and an opera singer? A. Lipstick!

The cannibal chef daintily wiped his mouth and said, "My wife makes great soup. I'm really going to miss her."

Q. How are the bogeyman and false teeth alike?
A. Both only come out at night!

The sad dentist looked a little down in the mouth.

Q. What do you call a cannibal who bites his brothers and sisters?
A. Munchkin.

Q. Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
A. Because they taste funny.

Q. Why don't most people enjoy cannibal jokes?
A. Because it's an acquired taste.

Q. What happens when you get a gold tooth?
A. You put your money where your mouth is.

Q. How do you find the strangest dental industry jobs?
A. By weird of mouth!

Q. Why did the horse talk with hay in its mouth?
A. It lacked good stable manners.

A friend of mine is dating a girl with a dental implant, but he didn't know that until it came out during a recent conversation.

Q. What do you call photos of your mouth?
A. Tooth-Pics.

Q. What do you call a grizzly with no teeth in his mouth?
A. A Gummy Bear!

Q. Why does the alcoholic Avon lady talk funny?
A. Because her lips stick.

Q. What do you get if you kiss a chicken?
A. A peck on the lips.

Q. What do you call a fish that won't quit singing?
A. A big-mouthed bass.

Q. What did the dentist say when he looked in Yoda's mouth?
A. May the Floss Be With You!

Q. What is a toothache?
A. A mouth pain that drives people to extraction.

Q. What is it called when you accidentally make a bad undergarment pun?
A. A slip of the tongue.

| Mouth Jokes, Tongue Puns, Lip Laughs | Face Jokes | Neck Humor, Throat Puns | Eye Jokes |
| Ear Jokes, Hearing Humor, Deaf Puns | Nose Jokes, Boogar Puns | Ear, Nose, Throat Humor |
| Head Jokes, Noggin Puns | Chest Jokes, Breat Puns | Heart Humor | Belly Laughs, Gut Humor |
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