Chest Jokes, Pec Puns, Breast Humor

Chest Jokes, Pec Puns, Breast Humor, DD Laughs
('Cause Haunted En-Tittie Jokes and a Chest Full of Puns Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream at the Local Gym or Strip Club!)

Did you hear about the topless bar that tried to have a Polka night? All the accordianists kept getting hurt!

Q. Which sci-fi gathering do busty blonde aliens attend?
A. Areola 51. Duh!

Q. What did the boob say to the bikini?
A. You're my breast friend!

Q. Why was the two-piece swimsuit invented?
A. To separate the dairy from the hairy.

Did you hear about the choir singer with augmented breasts? She had a great falsetto!

Q. How are boobs and toys alike?
A. Both are intended for children, but dad can't keep his hands off them.

Q. Why did the nicely enowed mermaid wear seashells?
A. Because B-shells were too small.

Gym Pick Up Line: Hey girl, is your tank top felt? No? Well, would you like it to be?

Q. What do fellow gym rats call the guy who is obsessed with well-developed pectoral muscles?
A. ChestNut.

Police Pick-Up Line: I'm not here to bust you. I'm here for your bust.

Q. Which chest exercise do vintners prefer doing at their home gym?
A. The wine press.

Police Pick-Up Line: Hey Blue Man, I hear cops like a big bust.

Hey Gnirl, your bosons give me a HADRON!

A guy was staring at Medusa's boobs when she remarked, "Hey, my eyes are up here." But he was already hard as a rock.

Fast Food Pick Up Line: Hey Chick, did you just come from KFC? 'Cause your thighs and breast are giving me a drumstick!

Q. What did the newbie at the gym say to the female bodybuilder twins?
A. Those really are super sets.

Q. How are football games like boobs?
A. Big or small, they're both great except when they're lopsided!

Q. What happened after the guy took bench press out of his workout schedule?
A. It was a huge weight off his chest.

Q. What do gym rats call the guy with the most nicely developed pectoral muscles?
A. Chester.

Q. What do cocky roosters work on at the gym?
A. Their pecs

Q. What do chickens work on at the gym?
A. Their pecks!

Q. What happened after the dancer was killed at the stripper bar?
A. Now the place is haunted with en-tities.

Q. Why did the blonde ghost try out to be a porn star?
A. 'Cause she had really big boobies.

Q. What do you call a ghost's boobies?
A. Paranormal en-titties.

Q. Why did the blonde vampire try out to be a porn star?
A. 'Cause she had really big fangs and thangs.

The gym has no confidence in me. The first machine they put me on was the respirator!

Did you hear about the cosmetic surgery clinic's new sign? "If life gives you lemons, we can give you melons!"

Q. When the rooster went on a workout regimen, what was his result?
A. Good pecks.

Chesty Point to Ponder: Do men with large breasts prefer wearing the manssiere or the bro?

Bodybuilder Tip of the Day: Before every upper body workout, always warm up with at least 10 reps of selfies to both Facebook and Twitter.

Q What was Robin doing at the gym in the Bat Cave?
A. Workng on his pecks.

Q. Where do plastic surgeons shop before a boob job?
A. Breast Buy.

Have you seen this year's brand new blonde Dr. Barbie plastic surgeon doll? It operates on DD batteries!

Q. What do a plastic surgeon and a chicken farmer have in common?
A. Both can supply big breasts.

Pick Up a Gym Rat Line: Hi, do you know any workout to reduce breast size? 'Cause mine are a bit too much to handle.

Q. Why do women rub their eyes in the morning?
A. Because they don't have balls to scratch.

Q. How do reporters handle boobs?
A. Press release

Q. Which author was destined to write the new novel, Plunging Necklines?
A. C. Mour Bust.

Q. What do you call a busty primate who works at Hooters?
A. A monkey wench.

Q. What do gym rats call the correct regimen of various consecutive upper body exercises?
A. The pec-ing order.

Q. What do bodybuilders call the guy with the best chest muscles?
A. The Pec King.

Musical Gym Pick Up Line: I'm to flexy for my shirt, too flexy for my shirt, too flexy for my shirt.

Q. How do guys at the strip club describe the dancer with the nicest rack?
A. Titillating.

Did you hear about the chef who slipped and broke his prime rib?

Q. Why did the panda bear want to date the Victoria Secret model?
A. She had really big bamboobs.

Q. What do regular customers call Hooters?
A. A breast-aurant.

Q. What does the geologist call his wife's bra?
A. An over-the-shoulder boulder holder.

Q. What do you call it when somebody trips over a bra?
A. A booby trap.

Pick Up a Gym Rat Line: Hey fella, do you work at UPS? 'Cause I saw you checking out my packages.

Q. How are a bar and a bra alike?
A. Both offer varying cup sizes.

Cocktail Fact of the Day: Martinis are just like nipples. One isn't enough, two is just right, and three is when things start to get weird.

Q. How is a bad soccer team like a worn-out old bra?
A. No cups and little support.

Chat Up a Musician Line: Hey baby, do you play percussion? 'Cause those are some big mallets you've got there.

You haven't seen it all yet, so get your hands on even more peek humor,
perky jokes, robust laughs and im-pec-able painful puns that can't be topped:

More Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...

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