What did the snowman say to his son?
A. I told you if you kept crossing your eyes, they'd
freeze that way!
Why did the blonde say when she called in sick?
A. I have an eye problem. I can't see myself coming
What do you say after telling a really Painful
A. Corny, uh?
Funny Pick Up Line: Hey
girl, are you a magician? 'Cause when I look into your eyes,
everything else disappears.
Is it true that eyeballs can hear?
A. Yes, but only at extremely eye frequencies.
you hear about the promotion the glass eye manufacturer
is having? It's called, "An Eye for An Eye."
What happened to the patient whose eye surgery was botched?
A. He can't stop making eye puns, and the jokes are cornea
How do you know if eyes are flirting with you?
A. They go: Wink, Wink!
What did the blonde say to her contact lenses?
A. I can't take my eyes off you.
Pick Up Line: Hey dude,
stop undressing me with your eyes. Use your teeth instead.
How does your vision come up with a rough estimate?
A. It eyeballs it.
If there's a bee in my hand, what is in my eye?
Eye Doctor: Beauty is in the eye of the bee holder.
guy was staring at Medusa's boobs when she remarked, "Hey,
my eyes are up here." But he was already hard as a
patient was worried that the laser eye surgeon wasn't going
to be any good, but he doesn't see any problem now.
Vision Factoid: Whoever said carrots give you good vision
was wrong. A carrot poked me in the eye, and I couldn't
see for a week!
Why was one cyclops always arguing with the other cyclops?
A. They just could not see eye to eye!
Which day of the week do eye care professional like most?
A. Freaky Eye-day.
Why do eyeballs like new electronics and smart appliances?
A. Because they're eye tech.
What has one eye and two asses?
A. An assassin.
Why did the doctor diagnose the guy who suffered from negativity
with Optical Rectalitis, a condition that affects the nerves
between the eyeballs and asshole?
A. Because he had a shitty outlook on life.
What happens if you have the eye of the tiger and the heart
of a lion?
A. You get a lifetime ban from the zoo.