Did you hear about the optician? Two glasses, and he made a spectacle of himself.   PainfulPuns.com - Sick Puns, Doctor Jokes, Healthy Humor

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Q. Why did the eye doctor give new patients magic eye puzzles? A. As an eyes breaker!
An optometrist asked a guy if his eyes had ever been checked. The guy replied, "No, they've always been brown!"
What does an ophthalmologist say wehn he's stymied? Eye Caramba!
Q. Why should you love your eye doctor? A. It's an eye-deal relationship!

 


Vision Humor, Eyeball Puns, Focus Jokes
Focus on funny eyeball jokes, eye doc humor, insightful laughs and cross-eyed vision puns.

Eye Doctor Jokes, Sight Humor, Funny Eye Puns
(Because Myopic Jokes and Near-Sighted Puns Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream While You're Watching Mr. Magoo!)
Warning: Proceed at Your Own Risk! Humor spectacles, funny 20/20 jokes, and focused puns ahead.
| Eye Doctor Jokes, Optometrist Puns, Ophthalmologist Humor | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Eye Puns |
| Optometry Jokes | Ophthalmology Jokes | Optician Puns | Glasses Jokes, Eyewear Spectacles |
| Dentist Jokes and Toothy Grins | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Doctor Jokes, Nurse Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 |
| Surgeon Jokes | Urologist Jokes | Constipation Jokes | Diarrhea Jokes | Blood Jokes | 2 |
| Dopey Pharmaceutical Jokes | Futuristic Medical Jokes | Sci-Fi Doctor Jokes | Dr. Who Jokes |
| Shrink Humor, Psychiatrist Jokes, Insanely Crazy Puns | Brainy Puns and Cerebral Jokes | 2 |

Patient: "I keep getting a stabbing pain in my eye when I drink coffee!" Eye Doc: "Have you tried taking the spoon out of the cup first?"Q. Where does bad light end up? A. In Prism!Q. What treat do eye doctors give out on Halloween? A. Candy Cornea!

Q. What is an eye doctor's favorite dessert?
A. Eyes Cream!

Eye Exam Point to Ponder: Why does the optometrist send you next door to the optician to pick out glasses while your eyes are dialated and you can't see anything?

Q. Why does Chuck Norris wear sunglasses?
A. To protect the sun!

Q. Why did the eye doctor give new patients Magic Eye puzzles?
A. As an eyes breaker!

Q. What did the left eye say to its partner?
A. You are lookin' alright!

Q. What do a near-sighted gynecologist and a dog have in common?
A. Wet noses.

Q. Who is Transylvania's most famous eye doctor?
A. Count Macula!

Q. How can you tell a pumpkin needs corrective lenses?
A. He's trying to chat up a basketball.

Q. What did one zombie say to another?
A. Please don't roll your eyes toward me!

Q. What did an optometrist make Humpty Dumpty wear after he fell off the wall? A. Yolked prisms!Eye Joke: Q. When is a lens not a lens? A. When it's Aphakic!With that last eye pun, you made a true spectacle of yourself!

Eye am an optometrist, so you can clearly see why my puns just get cornea.

Q. What is an eye doctor's favorite band?
A. The Black Eyed Peas.

Q. Why do eyeballs like new electronics and smart appliances?
A. Because they're eye tech.

Q. What does a determined eyeball say about completing its task?
A. I'll finish, come hell or eye water!

Q. What is Conjunctivitis.eye?
A. A site for sore eyes.

Q. Why did the psychic go to her eye doctor?
A. She was having a hard time seeing into the future.

Far-Sighted Fact of the Day: Opticians are men of vision!

Q. Why did the eyeball think it was so smart?
A. Because it had an eye school diploma.

Guy: Doctor, Doctor, I think I need glasses!
Clerk: You certainly do sir. This is a liquor store!

The last eye pun was even cornea than this one!Q. In New England, what do they call a deer wit no eyes and no legs? A. Still No Idea!It's easy to see these eye puns are painful. As do eye!

Q. How do you take over the globe?
A. With a contact lens.

Patient: I keep seeing double.
Eye Doctor: Well, just sit in that chair.
Patient: Which one?

Q. What did the optician say when the customer asked for a refitting?
A. Eye'd be happy to help you.

Q. What was the name of Rudolph's lesser-known stoner brother?
A. Ricky, the red-eyed reindeer.

Wow, eye forgot stills could make you go blind!

Q. Why did the leopard go to the eye doctor?
A. Because she was seeing spots.

Specs appeal is not the reason to become an optician, but it does help!

A guy goes to an optician's office and asks how much glasses cost. The optician told him it varies. The guy said, "Oh, I see clearly..." So, the optician replied, "Well, you don't need them then!"

Focused Pick Up Line: Hey girl, are you fireworks? 'Cause you're lighting up my eyes.

Q. What did the frame's tag say to the de-tagging gun? A. Ex-SKUs me!Q. What do you call a Norwegian optometrist? A. Toric the Viking!Patient: "I always see spots before my eyes!" Eye Doc: "Didn't your new glasses help?" Patient: "Sure, now I see the spots clearer!"

Q. Why did the eye doctor break up with the orthopedic surgeon?
A. Because the eyeball didn't find the elbow's humerus jabs at all humor-iris.

Q. What game do sample eye glass frames like to play?
A. Tag.

Patient: I have yellow eyes. What should I do?
Jokester Eye Doc: Wear a brown suit.

Q. What is a must-see destination for an optometrist in Paris?
A. The Eye-Full Tower!

Q. What did the deck hand on the optometrist's yacht say?
A. Eye, Eye, Captain.

Q. What did the immigrant first-grader say after his first visit to the eye doctor?
A. Do you have the same chart, but in English?

Q. What excuse did the lens give the police officer?
A. I've been framed!

Q. How does your vision come up with a rough estimate?
A. It eyeballs it.

Q. What diet should you be on for optimal eye sight?
A. The Less Eye Candy, More Eye Veggies Diet.

| Eye Doctor Jokes and Optometrist Humor | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Eye Puns | Sick Pick-Up Lines |
| Optometry Jokes | Ophthalmology Jokes | Optician Puns | Glasses Jokes, Eyewear Spectacles |
| Doctor Jokes and Nurse Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | Germ Jokes | Dentist Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |
| Surgeon Jokes | Urologist Jokes | Constipation Jokes | Diarrhea Jokes | Blood Jokes | 2 |
| Dopey Pharmaceutical Jokes | Futuristic Medical Jokes | Sci-Fi Doctor Jokes | Dr. Who Jokes |
| Sick Medical Jokes, Healthy Hospital Puns | Shrink Humor, Psychiatrist Jokes | Brain Jokes | 2 |
| Human Anatomy Jokes | Body Jokes | Inner Body Puns, Back Jokes | Butt Jokes | Heart Humor |
| Male Body Jokes, Viagra Jokes | Female Body Jokes | Hand Jokes, Finger Puns, Arm Humor |
| Head Humor | Face Jokes | Ear Jokes, Nose Puns, Throat Humor | Leg Jokes | Foot Jokes |


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