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Vision
Humor, Eyeball Puns, Focus Jokes
Focus
on funny eyeball jokes, eye doc humor, insightful laughs and cross-eyed
vision puns.
Eye Doctor Jokes, Sight Humor, Funny Eye Puns
(Because Myopic Jokes and Near-Sighted
Puns Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream While You're Watching
Mr. Magoo!) |
Warning:
Proceed at Your Own Risk! Humor spectacles, funny 20/20 jokes, and
focused puns ahead.
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Eye Doctor Jokes, Optometrist Puns,
Ophthalmologist Humor | 2 |
3 | 4
| 5 | 6
| Eye Puns |
| Optometry Jokes | Ophthalmology
Jokes | Optician Puns | Glasses
Jokes, Eyewear Spectacles |
| Dentist Grins | Doctor
Jokes | Surgeon Jokes | Psychiatrist
Jokes | Brain Jokes | Face
Jokes |
| Dopey Pharmaceutical Jokes | Futuristic
Medical Jokes | Sci-Fi Doctor Jokes
| Dr. Who Jokes |
Q.
What is an eye doctor's favorite dessert?
A. Eyes Cream!
Eye
Exam Point to Ponder: Why does the optometrist send you
next door to the optician to pick out glasses while your
eyes are dialated and you can't see anything?
Q.
Why does Chuck Norris wear sunglasses?
A. To protect the sun! |
Q.
Why did the eye doctor give new patients Magic Eye puzzles?
A. As an eyes breaker!
Q.
What did the left eye say to its partner?
A. You are lookin' alright!
Q.
What do a near-sighted gynecologist and a dog have in common?
A. Wet noses.
|
Q.
Who is Transylvania's most famous eye doctor?
A. Count Macula!
Q.
How can you tell a pumpkin needs corrective lenses?
A. He's trying to chat up a basketball.
Q.
What did one zombie say to another?
A. Please don't roll your eyes toward me! |
Eye
am an optometrist, so you can clearly see why my puns just
get cornea.
Q.
What is an eye doctor's favorite band?
A. The Black Eyed Peas.
Q.
Why do eyeballs like new electronics and smart appliances?
A. Because they're eye tech. |
Q.
What does a determined eyeball say about completing its
task?
A. I'll finish, come hell or eye water!
Q.
What is Conjunctivitis.eye?
A. A site for sore eyes.
Q.
Why did the psychic go to her eye doctor?
A. She was having a hard time seeing into the future.
|
Far-Sighted
Fact of the Day: Opticians are men of vision!
Q.
Why did the eyeball think it was so smart?
A. Because it had an eye school diploma.
Guy:
Doctor, Doctor, I think I need glasses!
Clerk: You certainly do sir. This is a liquor store! |
Q.
How do you take over the globe?
A. With a contact lens.
Patient:
I keep seeing double.
Eye Doctor: Well, just sit in that chair.
Patient: Which one?
Q.
What did the optician say when the customer asked for a
refitting?
A. Eye'd be happy to help you. |
Q.
What was the name of Rudolph's lesser-known stoner brother?
A. Ricky, the red-eyed reindeer.
Wow,
eye forgot stills could make you go blind!
Q.
Why did the leopard go to the eye doctor?
A. Because she was seeing spots.
|
Specs
appeal is not the reason to become an optician, but
it does help!
A
guy goes to an optician's office and asks how much glasses
cost. The optician told him it varies. The guy said, "Oh,
I see clearly..." So, the optician replied, "Well,
you don't need them then!"
Focused
Pick Up Line: Hey girl,
are you fireworks? 'Cause you're lighting up my eyes. |
Q.
Why did the eye doctor break up with the orthopedic surgeon?
A. Because the eyeball didn't find the elbow's humerus
jabs at all humor-iris.
Q.
What game do sample eye glass frames like to play?
A. Tag.
Patient:
I have yellow eyes. What should I do?
Jokester Eye Doc: Wear a brown suit. |
Q.
What is a must-see destination for an optometrist
in Paris?
A. The Eye-Full Tower!
Q.
What did the deck hand on the optometrist's yacht say?
A. Eye, Eye, Captain.
Q.
What did the immigrant first-grader say after his first
visit to the eye doctor?
A. Do you have the same chart, but in English?
|
Q.
What excuse did the lens give the police officer?
A. I've been framed!
Q.
How does your vision come up with a rough estimate?
A. It eyeballs it.
Q.
What diet should you be on for optimal eye sight?
A. The Less Eye Candy, More Eye Veggies Diet. |
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Eye Doctor Jokes and Optometrist Humor
| 2 | 3
| 4 | 5
| 6 | Eye
Puns | Sick Pick-Up Lines |
| Optometry Jokes | Ophthalmology
Jokes | Optician Puns | Glasses
Jokes, Eyewear Spectacles |
| Doctor Jokes and Nurse Puns | 2
| 3 | 4
| 5 | 6
| 7 | Germ
Jokes | Dentist Jokes | 2
| 3 | 4
| 5 |
| Surgeon Jokes | Urologist
Jokes | Constipation Jokes
| Diarrhea Jokes | Blood
Jokes | 2 |
| Dopey Pharmaceutical Jokes | Futuristic
Medical Jokes | Sci-Fi Doctor Jokes
| Dr. Who Jokes |
| Medical Jokes | Shrink
Humor, Psychiatrist Jokes | Addict
Jokes, Rehab Puns | Brain Jokes
| 2 |
| Body Jokes | Human
Anatomy Jokes | Inner Body Puns,
Back Jokes | Butt Jokes | Heart
Humor |
| Male Body Jokes, Viagra Jokes | Female
Body Jokes | Chest Jokes, Pec Puns,
Breast Humor |
| Head Humor | Face
Jokes | Ear Puns | Nose
Jokes | Neck Puns | Ear,
Nose, Throat Humor |
| Mouth Jokes | Hand
Jokes, Finger Puns, Arm Humor | Leg
Jokes | Foot Jokes | Belly
Laughs |
You've
focused this far, so here's
more web-sight laughter,
squinty grins,
color
blind jokes and light
painful puns that'll impress your rods
and cones:
|
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Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...
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Puns | Cemetery Jokes |
Chef Jokes | Daily
Groans | Diet Puns | Fitness
Humor |
| Gym Jokes | Lawyer
Jokes | Magician Jokes | Money
Groans | Music Puns | Pick-Up
Lines | Psychic Jokes |
| Religion Jokes | Sci-Fi
Jokes | Seasonal Puns | Sports
Jokes | Undead Jokes | Vampire
Puns | Vegan Jokes |
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