Optometrists live long because they dilate.   PainfulPuns.com - Sick Puns, Doctor Jokes, Healthy Humor

PainfulPuns Home
Animal Puns, Wildlife Humor
Bartender Puns, Bar Humor
Crappy Puns & Sh*tty Jokes!
Cheesy Puns & Sharp Humor
Clucking Funny Farm Animal Puns
Edible Puns, Fun with Food
Frightful Puns, Scary Jokes
Garden Puns, Green Groaners
Gnome Puns Intended
Painful Jokes & Groaner Puns
Monstrously Funny Puns
Work Humor, Joking on the Job
Old Jokes & Old Never Die Puns
Painful Puns, Punny Funs
Pet Puns + Jokes = Funny Pet Peeves
Sharp Pick-Up Lines, Cheesy Come-Ons
Funny Riddles, Punny Answers!
Sick Puns, Healthy Laughs
Smart Humor! Science + Math = Puns
Tech Jokes, PC Puns & Net Ouch!

And while you're here,
please take a moment to
visit our sponsors:

Q. Why should you love your eye doctor? A. It's an eye-deal relationship!
Q. What do you call a Norwegian optometrist? A. Toric the Viking!
Q. Why did the eye doctor give new patients magic eye puzzles? A. As an eyes breaker!
Patient: "I keep getting a stabbing pain in my eye when I drink coffee!" Eye Doc: "Have you tried taking the spoon out of the cup first?"
Q. What's the difference between an optometry student and a trash can? A. the trash can goes out at least once a week!
Q. How do you make a blonde's eyes twinkle? A. Shine a light in her ear!

 


Optometrist Puns, Focused Laughs, Eye Doc Jokes
See your way through blurry vision jokes, eye-full puns, and eye-ronic humor with a focal point.

Optometry Jokes, Eye Doctor Humor, Eye Puns
(Because Farsighted Jokes and Myopic Puns Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream If You Wanna See Where You're Going!)
Warning: Proceed at Your Own Risk! Crisp optometrist jokes, sharp optometry humor, and foci puns ahead.
| Optometry Jokes | Ophthalmology Jokes | Optician Puns | Glasses Jokes, Eyewear Spectacles |
| Eye Doctor Jokes, Optometrist Puns, Ophthalmologist Humor | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Eye Puns |
| Dentist Jokes and Toothy Grins | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Doctor Jokes, Nurse Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 |
| Surgeon Jokes | Urologist Jokes | Constipation Jokes | Diarrhea Jokes | Blood Jokes | 2 |
| Dopey Pharmaceutical Jokes | Futuristic Medical Jokes | Sci-Fi Doctor Jokes | Dr. Who Jokes |
| Shrink Humor, Psychiatrist Jokes, Insanely Crazy Puns | Brainy Puns and Cerebral Jokes | 2 |

My optometrist always has a few insightful puns to break the eyes!Q. Who is Transylvania's most famous optometrist? A. Count Macula!An optometrist asked a guy if his eyes had ever been checked. The guy replied, "No, they've always been brown!"

Q. How can you tell you've got a great optometrist?
A. His eye puns are as corneas it gets!

Eye am an optometrist, so you can clearly see why my puns just get cornea.

Q. What did the optometrist comedian call his comedy club act?
A. A Cornea-copia of Jokes.

Q. Why was the optometrist served a subpoena to testify in the trial?
A. He was an excellent eye witness.

Q. How do optometrists describe their work?
A. As an eye-opening experience.

Myopic Squint of the Day: Guess who I bumped into at my optometrist's office today? Everyone.

Q. Why did Satan come after the optometrist?
A. Because his jokes were cornea than Hell!

Q. What did the optometrist say to the monster, vampire, and zombie patients in his office lobby?
A. You vill see. You vill all see! Muhahahaha!

Q. Which kind of humor do optometrists appreciate the most?
A. Eye-rony.

Old optometrists never retire. They just lose their focus.

My optometrist told me I needed multi-focal lenses, but all I heard was, "You are getting old."

Q. What does an eye doctor say when asked what his profession is?
A. Eye am an optometrist.

Focused Fact of the Day: Optometrists know how to blur the line between genius and insanity.

Q. Why did the blonde think her optometrist was in love with her?
A. Because when she leaves the office, he hands her a bottle of contact solution saying, "Eye care for you."

Q. What do you get if you cross an optometrist convention and a donkey auction? A. Two eye-gl-asses for the price of one!Q. What did the optometrist say to the guy with three eyes? A. Aye, Aye, Aye!Q. How many optometrists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A. Hmm... 1 or 2?

Blind Laugh of the Day: I had an appointment with my optometrist today, but something came up and I couldn't see him.

Q. Why are optometrists so happy to see drunks?
A. Because everything is a blur.

Q. What did the optometrist's lawyer say to the judge?
A. Iris my case.

Did you hear about the guy who took his girlfriend to the optometrist because she had issues with her vision? Turns out she was seeing other men.

Q. What is a must-see destination for an optometrist in Paris?
A. The Eye-Full Tower!

Q. What did the optometrist need for sightseeing?
A. An eye-tinerary.

Q. Why did the cross-eyed clairvoyant go see her optometrist?
A. Because she was seeing the past and the future at the same time.

Q. Why is it so hard to find a good optometrist in Alaska?
A. Because they're all optical Aleutians.

Q. What did the first-grader say after his first visit to the optometrist?
A. I can see, but that guy really can't spell!

Q. Why can't an optometrist count to 3?
A. Because they always get stuck on 1, or 2, or 1, or 2...

Q. What do optometrists say about Painful eye Puns?
A. These jokes are so eye-ronic!

Myopic Vision Issue of the Day: My optometrist said I have bad vision, but I don't see the problem?

Amasing Grace was an amazing optometrist! "Was blind, but now I see!"An optometrist fell into a lens grinder and made a spectacle of himself.Q. Why did the optometrist couple get divorced? A. They just couldn't see eye to eye!

Patient: I always see spots in my vision.
Optometrist: Didn't your new glasses help?
Patient: Yeah, but now I just see the spots more clearly.

Q. Why did the seer visit his optometrist?
A. Because he needed his vision checked.

Q. Aye matey, why did the pirate become an optometrist?
A. He had a love for the eye sees.

Optometry jokes just keep getting cornea...

Q. What is an optometrist's favorite time of the day?
A. Twelve O'clock Eye!

Q. Why are optometrists so smart?
A. Because they were good pupils.

Visionary Fact of the Day: Optometrists are never short sighted.

Q. What does an optometrist call a fish with no eyes?
A. FSH.

Q. Why did the leopard go see her optometrist?
A. Because she was seeing spots.

Q. What did the optometrist ask his receptionist?
A. Has anyone told you that you're beautiful today? If so, please refer them in.

Q. Which day of the week do optometrists like the best?
A. Freaky Eye-day.

Q. What music do optometrists listen to the most? A. iTunes!Q. What does you optometrist say when you don't laugh at his pun? A. Eye will allow it!Q. What did an optometrist make Humpty Dumpty wear after he fell off the wall? A. Yolked prisms!

Q. What do optometrists call Denver, Colorado?
A. The Mile Eye City.

Q. Why was optometry school so easy for the star pupil?
A. Because he was a visual learner.

Q. Why was the eye doctor always so happy?
A. He was an Opto-mist!

Q. Which Transformer is also an optometrist?
A. Oculus Prime.

Blurry Funny Blunder of the Day: A patient saw two guys wearing matching clothing and asked if they were gay. Turned out that was actually his optometrist.

Nostalgic Insight: My earliest childhood memory is going to the optometrist when I was six years old. Everything before that is a mere blur.

A guy showed his bud a pic of his wife and said, "Isn't she stunning!" Bud replied, "You should see my wife." Guy asked, "Wow, is she stunning, too?" Bud replied, "No, she's an optometrist."

An ophthalmologist, optometrist, and optician walked into a bar. Bartender says, "Wow, I didn't see this joke coming."

Q. How did the optometrist greet his new pirate patient?
A. Aye, aye!

Q. What did the optometrist say on Monday morning after a fun weekend?
A. Eye had the time of eye life!

Q. Which root vegetable is the favorite of optometrists?
A. Potatoes, because they have so many eyes.

Today's Insightful Factoid: Optometrists are men of vision.

Q. How did the optometrist greet his new one-eyed pirate patient?
A. Aye Matey!

Q. What is a vegetable optometrist called?
A. A sea cucumber.

| Optometry Jokes | Ophthalmology Jokes | Optician Puns | Glasses Jokes, Eyewear Spectacles |
| Eye Doctor Jokes, Optometrist Puns, Ophthalmologist Humor | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Eye Puns |
| Dentist Jokes and Toothy Grins | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Doctor Jokes, Nurse Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 |
| Surgeon Jokes | Urologist Jokes | Constipation Jokes | Diarrhea Jokes | Blood Jokes | 2 |
| Dopey Pharmaceutical Jokes | Futuristic Medical Jokes | Sci-Fi Doctor Jokes | Dr. Who Jokes |
| Shrink Humor, Psychiatrist Jokes, Insanely Crazy Puns | Brainy Puns and Cerebral Jokes | 2 |
| Sick Medical Jokes, Hospital Puns, and Healthy Humor | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 |


PainfulPuns Home
You've stayed focused this far, so see even more visionary humor,
eye-ronic jokes and cross-eyed painful puns that aren't an optical illusion:

More Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...

| Bartender Jokes | Cannabis Puns | Cemetery Jokes | Chef Jokes | Daily Groans | Diet Puns | Fitness Humor |
| Gym Jokes | Lawyer Jokes | Magician Jokes | Money Groans | Music Puns | Pick-Up Lines | Psychic Jokes |
| Religion Jokes | Sci-Fi Jokes | Seasonal Puns | Sports Jokes | Undead Jokes | Vampire Puns | Vegan Jokes |

Smart Humor! Science + Math = Puns Pot Puns, Weed Jokes, Green Grow-ners!Painful Puns, Punny Funs, Ouch!
Monstrously Funny Puns Old Jokes & Old Never Die Puns Crappy Puns & Sh*tty Jokes!

Thanks for stopping by and see you again soon!

Join us on social media and please feel free to share our memes with friends and family:
PainfulPuns at Facebook PainfulPuns at Twitter PainfulPuns at Pinterest

©2017-2019 Painfulpuns.com PainfulPuns.com Logo Man All rights reserved.