Did you hear about the opticican? Two glasses, and he made a spectacle of himself.   PainfulPuns.com - Sick Puns, Doctor Jokes, Healthy Humor

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Eye Doctor: "Can you read the bottom line?" Polish Guy: "Read it? Heck, I know that guy!"
The last eye pun was even cornea than this one!
With that last eye pun, you made a true spectacle of yourself!
Your glass eye pun was even cornea than this one!

 


Eye Doctor Humor, Eye Jokes, Focused Puns
Eye see blurry insightful optometry puns, cross-eyed optician jokes, and fuzz in your future!

Optometrist Jokes, Sight Humor, Optician Puns
(Because Out of Focus Puns and Blurry Funny Jokes Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream While Your Eyes Are Dialated!)
Warning: Proceed with Caution! You can clearly see these optometrist jokes and glassy eye puns are painful.
| Eye Doctor Jokes, Optometrist Puns, Ophthalmologist Humor | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Eye Puns |
| Optometry Jokes | Ophthalmology Jokes | Optician Puns | Glasses Jokes, Eyewear Spectacles |
| Dentist Jokes and Toothy Grins | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Doctor Jokes, Nurse Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 |
| Surgeon Jokes | Urologist Jokes | Constipation Jokes | Diarrhea Jokes | Blood Jokes | 2 |
| Dopey Pharmaceutical Jokes | Futuristic Medical Jokes | Sci-Fi Doctor Jokes | Dr. Who Jokes |
| Shrink Humor, Psychiatrist Jokes, Insanely Crazy Puns | Brainy Puns and Cerebral Jokes | 2 |

Q. What do you get if you cross an optometrist convention and a donkey auction? A. Two eye-gl-asses for the price of one!Q. Why should you love your eye doctor? A. It's an eye-deal relationship!Q. What happened to the optician who fell into the lens grinder? A. He made a spectacle of himself!

Q. What did the optometrist need for sightseeing?
A. An eye-tinerary.

Q. Why was the eye doctor always so happy?
A. He was an Opto-mist!

It's apparent we'll get 20 lashes for that painful pun!

A lady walked into the optician's office and announced, "I have a screw loose." Optician replied, "Don't worry. Practitioners who can help you are right across the hall."

Q. What did the ophthalmologist say to the office receptionist when she threatened to quit?
A. Please stye with me!

Q. What do ophthalmologists say about painful eye puns?
A. These jokes are so eye-ronic!

Wife: You know dear, without your glasses you look like the handsome young man I married.
Husband: Honey, without my glasses you look pretty darned good, too.

It's clear to see that opticians are not just in it for the frame and fortune!

Q. Why did the near-sighted guy fall into the mineral springs?
A. Because he didn't see that well!

Q. What did the optician say to Superman after fitting his glasses?
A. News Flash! You are Clark Kent!

Q. What did the optician name his new eyewear shop?
A. For Eyes.

My optometrist always has a few insightful puns to break the eyes!Q. What music do optometrists listen to the most? A. iTunes!Q. Who is Transylvania's most famous optometrist? A. Count Macula!

We know these eye puns keep getting cornea and cornea. Iris the jokes were more colorful, but please don't lash out!

Q. Why was the guy surprised when he was kicked out of the peripheral vision club?
A. He just didn't see it coming!

Q. Which root vegetable is the favorite of optometrists?
A. Potatoes, 'cause they have so many eyes.

Q. Why was optometry school so easy for the star pupil?
A. Because he was a visual learner.

Q. What is an ophthalmologist's favorite tablet?
A. eyePad.

Today's Insightful Factoid: Optometrists are men of vision.

Q. Why do optometrists live such long lives?
A. Because they dilate.

Eye Factoid of the Day: Old folks can still have stars in their eyes. They're just called cataracts.

The gentleman who was going blind was sure he could master braille once he really got the feel of it.

Q. What was the len's excuse to the policeman? A. Officer, I've been framed!It's plain to see that these eye jokes are bad and they're just getting cornea and cornea!Q. How is an eye doctor like a teacher? A. They both test the pupils!

Q. What did the optometrist's lawyer say to the judge?
A. Iris my case.

Q. What do you call a one-eyed monster riding a Harley?
A. A Cycle-ops!

Q. Where do optometrists send data off their electronic devices?
A. To the Eye Cloud.

Q. What did the mommy contact lens say to the naughty child contact lens?
A. I've had enough. Just go and sit in the cornea.

Q. Why did the blonde keep losing her contact lenses?
A. She just couldn't keep her eye on them.

No, I'm not a hipster. I wear glasses because I actually need them.

Q. Why did the cyclops teacher close his charter school?
A. He only had one pupil.

Q. Why was one cyclops always arguing with the other cyclops?
A. They just could not see eye to eye!

Q. What do you call a bright student studying to be an ophthalmologist?
A. A good pupil.

Eye doctor joke: Q. Where do some Strabismic patients go? A. To Prism!When I want my house to look clean, I just take off my glasses!Q. Why did a myopic marry her optician? A. It was an ideal relationship!

Q. What does an eye doctor say when asked what his profession is?
A. Eye am an optometrist.

Q. What did the left eye say to the right eye?
A. Between you and me, there is something that smells.

Q. What happens if a see-level eyeball travels to the top of Pike's Peak too quickly?
A. It gets Eye Altitude Sickness.

Did you hear about the new cell phone carrier company started by optometrists? It's called Eye-Mobile.

Patient: I always see spots in my vision.
Eye Doc: Didn't your new glasses help?
Patient: Yeah, but now I just see the spots more clearly.

Q. Who can help you if your glass eyeball has gone missing?
A. A private eye!

Q. What did the optometrist ask his receptionist?
A. Has anyone told you that you're beautiful today? If so, please refer them in.

Q. What did the optometrist say when he proposed to his girlfriend?
A. Eye Love You!

Q. What did the horny eyeball join after leaving Denver International Airport?
A. The Mile Eye Club!

| Eye Doctor Jokes and Optometrist Humor | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Eye Puns | Sick Pick-Up Lines |
| Optometry Jokes | Ophthalmology Jokes | Optician Puns | Glasses Jokes, Eyewear Spectacles |
| Doctor Jokes and Nurse Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | Germ Jokes | Dentist Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |
| Surgeon Jokes | Urologist Jokes | Constipation Jokes | Diarrhea Jokes | Blood Jokes | 2 |
| Dopey Pharmaceutical Jokes | Futuristic Medical Jokes | Sci-Fi Doctor Jokes | Dr. Who Jokes |
| Sick Medical Jokes, Healthy Hospital Puns | Shrink Humor, Psychiatrist Jokes | Brain Jokes | 2 |
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| Male Body Jokes, Viagra Jokes | Female Body Jokes | Hand Jokes, Finger Puns, Arm Humor |
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