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Q. How are a counterfeit coin and a crazy rabbit alike? A. One is bad money and the other is mad bunny.
Chimp Asks: What is easy to get into, but hard to get out of? A. Trouble!
Q. What do you get if you drop boiling water down a rabbit hole? A. Hot Cross Bunnies
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Magician Jokes, Magic Puns, Magical Humor
Abracadabra! Conjure up hare-raising humor, tricky puns, magical laughs and spell-binding jokes.

Magic Trick Jokes, Magician Humor, Harey Puns
(Because Funny Magician Jokes and Magic Puns Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream If You've Lost Your Tophat. Voila!)
Warning: Volunteer to Assist with Caution! Slight of hand jokes, hocus pocus humor, and wand-erful puns ahead.
| Magician Jokes | Actor Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | Gnome Actor Jokes | Actor Pick-Up Lines |
| Vampire Performing Arts Puns | Artist Jokes | 2 | Hipster Jokes | Arty Hipster Pick-Up Lines |
| Creepy Clown Jokes and Circus Humor | Standup Comedian Jokes | Funny Jokes About Jokes |
| Dancer Jokes and Dance Puns | Musician Jokes | Guitar Player Puns | Colorado Music Jokes |

Q. What did the magician say to the fisherman? A. Pick a cod, any cod!A magician was driving down the road, then he turned into a driveway.Q. How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb? A. Depens on what you want to change it into!

Q. What do you call incantations conjured up by a sorcerer who discovered spells inscribed on an antique tablet?
A. Old plaque magic.

Q. What do you call a magician's goldfish?
A. A magic carp pet.

Q. Who wrote the book, The Secret Behind Magic Tricks?
A. Howe D. Dewitt.

Magician Pick-Up Line: Babe, I can make a snake jump out of my can of nuts without any props!

Magician Pick-Up Line: Hey, don't girls just wand a have fun?

Q. How is being a magician like being a porn star?
A. It's all about missed-erections.

Q. What did the magician's assistant say after the evening's festivities?
A. Thanks for halving me.

Q. What trick was the perverted magician famous for performing?
A. He pulled his top hat out of a rabbit.

Q. What trick did the angry magician do?
A. He pulled his hare out.

Magician Pick-Up Line: Are you a magician? 'Cause whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears.

Q. How can you tell if you come from a line of crummy magicians?
A. You've got two half-sisters. OUCH!

Magician Pick-Up Line: Is that a rabbit in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?

Q. Where did the magician find his new assistant?
A. In the Wand Ads.

Q. What did the lady magician wear under her clothes?
A. An abra-cadab-bra.

Q. What do you get if you cross an airplane and a magician?
A. A Flying Sorcerer!

Q. What do you call a magical dog crap?
A. Poo-Dini!

Pick-Up a Magician Line: Hey there tricky, I must be a magician's assistant because you saw right through me.

Magician Pick-Up Line: It's okay. I've seen that trick before...

Q. When is rancher like a magician? A. When he turns a cow into a pasture!Did you hear about the illusionist that made things disappear? He ahd the magic touch!Q. What did an observant eye doctor say to the slight-of-hand artist? A. Eye see what you did there!

Q. What do you get if you cross a magician and a camera?
A. Hocus Focus!

Q. Which dog breed is great at magic tricks?
A. The Lab-racadab-rador.

Q. What do you call a magician cow?
A. Moo-dini.

Magician Pick-Up Line: Are you a magician? 'Cause every little thing you do is magic.

Magical Point to Ponder: If a determined guy has a half a mind to become a magician, is that enough?

Q. Why was the prostitute magician so popular?
A. 'Cause she always had a few good tricks.

Q. Why won't the magician hire the minty chewing gum twins as assistants?
A. Because he doesn't do dirty double tricks.

Q. Which magician was a sleazy pervert?
A. David Copa Feel.

Magician Pick-Up Line: Do you like the dark? 'Cause you and I could make some black magic.

Q. What can you get for a mere penny at the magic store?
A. A cheap trick!

Magical Point to Ponder: Why isn't sleight-of-hand the same thing as slight-of-hand?

Q. What do you call a dove magician ?
A. Coo-dini.

Q. Why couldn't the magician pull a quarter out of the blonde's ear?
A. Because there's no cents in there.

Q. Why did the magician decide to quit drinking?
A. Because every time he walked down the street he turned into a bar.

Q. What do you call a lawyer magician ?
A. Sue-dini.

Q. What happened when the guy in Denver took his test while on magic mushrooms?
A. He passed with flying colors.

Magician Pick-Up Line: Are you my new assistant? 'Cause I saw you from across the room.

Hellish Humor: I thought about becoming a witch, so I tried it for a spell.Q. What did the fisherman say to the magician? A. Pick a cod, any cod!Q. What do you call a psychic gnome who escaped from prison? A. Small Medium at Large

Q. How does a witch record her spells?
A. With a magic marker.

Q. What do you call it when a witch messes up her magic spell?
A. Overcast.

Q. What do you call a Haitian magician?
A. Voodoo-ini.

Q. What do you call the corpse of the magician who died doing during his act?
A. Abra cadaver.

Magician Pick-Up Line: Alcohol has magical powers. It can turn a loveseat into a bed.

Q. What do you call a magician owl?
A. Hoot-dini.

Q. What do you call the guy who manages the money for an organization that practices black magic?
A. An occultant.

Q. How many magicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Two, but it has to be a really large light bulb.

Q. Why did the magician have a koi pond?
A. Because he enjoyed magic carp pets.

Magical Point to Ponder: Do magicians need a spell book to autocorrect abracadabra?

Magician Pick-Up Line: Babe, is your name Wanda? 'Cause you are pretty magical!

Q. Who doesn't go to the ER if he has lost his thumb?
A. A Magician!

Q. What is the slogan of the undertaker who hosts a magic show?
A. Abra Cadaver.

Magician Pick-Up Line: Babe, I know how to spell relief.

Q. Which question will a magician only answer in private?
A. How big is your magic wand?

Q. What do you call a magician who was abducted by aliens?
A. A flying sorcerer.

Fun Magician Trivia: Magicians eat chocolates because they really enjoy their Twix.

Magician Pick-Up Line: Are you a math-e-magician? 'Cause you and I add up to magic.

Q. When is a magician not a magician?
A. When he turns into a parking lot.

Q. Which famous magician was accused of sexual harassment?
A. David Coppafeel.

Did you hear about the obese magician? He always had a few good Twix up his sleeve.

Q. What do you call an obese psychic? A. A four chin teller!Once, an invisible man married an invisible woman. Their kids were nothing to lat, too.Q. What do you call the ability to see a hundred years into the future? A. Extra-Century Perception!

Q. What's the difference between a magician's assistant and an onion?
A. People cry when an onion gets cut up.

Q. What can you get at the magic store for just one cent?
A. A cheap trick.

Magical Point to Ponder: If Harry Houdini was alive today, would he be clawing at his coffin?

Q. How did the old magician die?
A. Nobody knows? He just disappeared.

Q. How can you trick a magician into showing you 100 card tricks?
A. Ask him to do a card trick.

Q. What did the magician's tractor do?
A. It turned into a field.

Q. How did the predictable magician always end his commute home from work?
A. He turns into his driveway.

Old magicians never die; they just disappear!

Magician: "Doc, I have a problem. Every time I say abra cadabra, somebody disappears. Doctor, are you there?"

Magical Point to Ponder: Why isn't an illusion the same thing as an allusion?

Q. What is the difference between a shrink and a magician?
A. A shrink pulls habits out of a rat!

Q. How did the amateur magician make such a big mistake in his card trick?
A. He got lost in the shuffle.

Q. What's the difference between a magician and a US Savings Bond?
A. The bond will mature and start earning money.

Q. How do you know if a magician has mastered a new trick?
A. Don't worry, he'll tell ya...

Q. What do you call a magic drug deal?
A. A Gandalf Handoff.

Q. What do you call a hypnotist who works throughout North America and Europe?
A. Trance Atlantic.

Q. Why couldn't the magician perform in Denver?
A. The airlines lost his bag of tricks.

Q. What did the magician's mother say when he told her that he wanted to be a magician when he grew up?
A. Son, you can't do both.

Q. What does a frustrated magician do?
A. He pulls his hare out!

Magical Point to Ponder: Is that missing sock on laundry day a magician's trick?

Q. What's the difference between a magic wand and a police taser?
A. One is for cunning stunts…

Q. Which famous magician always wore a multi-color suit on stage?
A. Hue-dini.

| Magician Jokes | Actor Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | Gnome Actor Jokes | Actor Pick-Up Lines |
| Vampire Performing Arts Puns | Artist Jokes | 2 | Hipster Jokes | Arty Hipster Pick-Up Lines |
| Creepy Clown Jokes and Circus Humor | Standup Comedian Jokes | Funny Jokes About Jokes |
| Dancer Jokes and Dance Puns | Musician Jokes | Guitar Player Puns | Colorado Music Jokes |
| Singer Jokes, Vocalist Puns | Composer Jokes | Rock Band Jokes | Gambler Jokes, Poker Puns |
| Job Jokes | Astronaut Puns | Athlete Jokes | Author Puns | Auto Mechanic | Baker Jokes |
| Banker Jokes | Barber Puns | Bartender | Chef Jokes | Chemist | Cowboy Jokes | Criminal Puns |
| Dentist Puns | Doctor Jokes | Electrician Jokes | Eye Doc Puns | Farmer | Home Contractor |
| Landlord Puns | Lawyer Jokes | Locksmith Puns | Optician Puns | Plumber Puns | Police Jokes |
| Psychic | Scientist Jokes | Shrink | Superhero | Teacher Jokes | Tech Support | Weatherman |

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