Q. Did you see the movie about a hotdog? A. It was an Oscar Weiner!   PainfulPuns.com - Puns, Jokes, Word Play, Groaners, Ouch!

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Q. Did the annoying mime actually make any mondy? A. Nothing to speak of!
What is a cucumber's favorite TV network? A. Pickleodeon!
I starred in a stage play about puns. Actually, it was just a play on words!
Q. Why did a cheesy street performer insist his audience sit in a circle? A. So that he'd get a round of applause!
Q. Why did the Broadway play close? A. Because it had scene better days!


Actor Jokes, Entertainment Humor, Staged Puns
Just the ticket to Hollywood humor, movie puns, outtake jokes and hammy canned laughter.

Acting Humor, One-Act Puns, Hammy Jokes
(Because Cheesy High-Drama Jokes Could Never Be TOO Mainstream When You're the Starring Actor!)
Warning: Stage Left and / or Right with Caution! Dramatic jokes, cinematic humor, and bit part puns ahead.
| Actor Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | Mime Jokes | Actor Pick-Up Lines | Magician Puns | Gnomes Acting Up |
| Creepy Clown Jokes and Circus Humor | Standup Comedian Jokes | Funny Jokes About Jokes |
| Television Jokes, TV Show Puns | Film Jokes, Movie Title Puns | Stage Actor Humor, Play Puns |
| Dancer Jokes, Disco Humor, Dance Puns | Music Jokes | Guitar Player Puns | Colorado Music |

Q. What is a chef's favorite dystopian movie? A. The Hunger Games!Did you hear about the talent show act that's officially banned now? It was performed lawlessly!What is a pickle's favorite movie? To Dill a Mockingbird

Q. What happened when cows put on an off Broadway play?
A. They got moo-ed off stage.

Q. Why are pigs such lousy actors?
A. Because they always really ham it up.

Q. What sort of issues did the egomaniac stage performers have?
A. They had problems interacting with each other off set.

Q. Why are so many circus performers so stressed out all the time?
A. Because their job is in tents.

Q. Which film was the cheesiest 1993 legal drama?
A. The Pelican Brie.

Q. Do old movie editors ever die?
A. No, they just fade in and fade out.

Q. What is a pickle's favorite movie?
A. Brine's Song.

Q. What do you call a clown who holds the door for a lady?
A. A nice jester.

Q. Which famous novel and film villain was known for using a reading desk?
A. Hannibal Lectern.

Gorilla Asks: Why do cheap guys watch porno movies backward? A. they like the part where the hooker gives the money back!Q. What is a dentist's favorite movie? A. Plaque to the future!Isn't it ironic that the Pirates of the Carribean DVD includes a piracy warning?

Q. Why did the guy end his career as a trapeze artist?
A. Because he was let go.

Q. When is a theater clumsy?
A. When the curtain falls.

Q. What happens when old limbo dancers die?
A. They go under.

Q. How are dentures like stars?
A. Both only come out at night.

Q. Why was Santa Claus cast in a holiday musical?
A. Because he had stage presents.

Q. How can you tell if you come from a line of crummy magicians?
A. You've got two half-sisters. OUCH!

Q. Why aren't kids allowed in to see the newest pirate movie?
A. Because it's rated ARR!

Q. What happened when three actors showed up to play the part of the cloud?
A. The director discovered it was overcast.

She wanted to tango with her husband but couldn't get past his avoid-dance.

Q. What does "I Spy" actor Robert say when he makes a mistake? A. Mea Culpa!Q. Why did the vampire tke up acting? A. It was in his blood!Q. What was teh transvestite rooster's stage name? A. Dawn!

Q. What is a pig's favorite tragedy?
A. Hamlet.

I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.
– Mae West.

Q. What happens when you put pigs in a Broadway musical?
A. They squeal the show!

Q. Why was Dracula considered such a great actor?
A. He always took parts he could really dig his teeth into.

Q. Why did Dr. Frankenstein give up his dream of becoming an actor?
A. He couldn't get the parts.

Q. How do critics rank dramatic musical works?
A. Standard opera-rating procedure.

Old dancers never die. They just step aside.

Q. What is a mime's favorite sweet snack?
A. A Marcel-mellow.

Q. What is Dracula's favorite circus act? A. He really goes for the juggler!The movie, Diarrhea – It's all over the place!Q. Why did the vampire act so batty? A. It was in his blood!

Q. What is a vampire's favorite Shakespeare play?
A. A Midsummer Bite's Dream.

Q. Why is Hollywood full of vampires?
A. They need someone to do bit parts!

Q. What do you call the corpse of the magician who died doing during his act?
A. Abra cadaver.

Q. How can you tell an airplane if full of actors?
A. When the engine stalls, the whining continues.

Q. What is a brass player's favorite movie?
A. Gone with the Woodwinds.

Q. Which famous magician always wore a multi-color suit on stage?
A. Hue-dini.

Q. Which fans are the favorites of movie vampires?
A. Their fang club.

Q. What do directors do with dead actors?
A. They put them in the chorus.

Q. Why was the prostitute magician so popular?
A. 'Cause she always had a few good tricks.

Q. Wht is the best way to see a Cyberman? A. On television!Q. What is a pickle's favorite game show? A. Let's Make A Dill!Q. Which silent movie lawmen do locksmiths enoy the most? A. The Keystone Cops!

Q. How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Just one. They don't like to share the spotlight.

Q. What is an actor's favorite day of the week?
A. Cues-Day.

Q. What did the conceited actress call her dressing room table?
A. Vanity.

Q. Which network is the favorite of cucumbers?
A. Pickle-odeon.

Q. How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?
A. ONE. Actors do not like to share the spotlight!

Q. Which actor is known for silly antics between takes?
A. George Looney.

Q. Which is the most steady job in the circus?
A. Tightrope walker.

Q. What is the name of a popular film about a young martial arts student in Pakistan?
A. The Karachi Kid.

Q. Which silent movie star spent his leisure time at a lake in Vermont?
A. Charlie Champlain.

| Actor Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | Mime Jokes | Actor Pick-Up Lines | Magician Puns | Gnomes Acting Up |
| Creepy Clown Jokes and Circus Humor | Standup Comedian Jokes | Funny Jokes About Jokes |
| Television Jokes, TV Show Puns | Film Jokes, Movie Title Puns | Stage Actor Jokes, Play Puns |

| Vampire Performing Arts Puns | Artist Jokes | 2 | Hipster Jokes | Arty Hipster Pick-Up Lines |

| Photographer Jokes, Photography Humor | Museum Jokes | Colofrul Jokes | Designer Puns |

| Dancer Jokes, Disco Humor, Dance Puns | Music Jokes | Guitar Puns | Colorado Music Jokes |
| Singer Jokes, Vocalist Song Puns | Composer Jokes | Brass Music Jokes | Musician Come-Ons |
| Piano Jokes, Keyboard Puns | Rocking Rock 'N Roll Jokes | Rock Band Jokes | Drummer Jokes |
| Hip Hop Puns | Sax and Violins Puns | Chef Tunes | Scary Music Jokes | Sci-Fi Music Jokes |
| Musical Superhero Jokes | Weed Music Jokes | Wild Animal Music Beasts | Xmas Carol LOLs |

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You know your role, so here's even more scripted humor, ad libbed lines,
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