Q. What happened when cows put on an off Broadway play?
A. They got moo-ed off stage.

Q. Why are pigs such lousy actors?
A. Because they always really ham it up.

Q. What sort of issues did the egomaniac stage performers have?
A. They had problems interacting with each other off set.

Q. Why are so many circus performers so stressed out all the time?
A. Because their job is in tents.

Q. Which film was the cheesiest 1993 legal drama?
A. The Pelican Brie.

Q. Do old movie editors ever die?
A. No, they just fade in and fade out.

Q. What is a pickle's favorite movie?
A. Brine's Song.

Q. What do you call a clown who holds the door for a lady?
A. A nice jester.

Q. Which famous novel and film villain was known for using a reading desk?
A. Hannibal Lectern.

Q. Why did the guy end his career as a trapeze artist?
A. Because he was let go.

Q. When is a theater clumsy?
A. When the curtain falls.

Q. What happens when old limbo dancers die?
A. They go under.

Q. How are dentures like stars?
A. Both only come out at night.

Q. Why was Santa Claus cast in a holiday musical?
A. Because he had stage presents.

Q. How can you tell if you come from a line of crummy magicians?
A. You've got two half-sisters. OUCH!

Q. Why aren't kids allowed in to see the newest pirate movie?
A. Because it's rated ARR!

Q. What happened when three actors showed up to play the part of the cloud?
A. The director discovered it was overcast.

She wanted to tango with her husband but couldn't get past his avoid-dance.

Q. What is a pig's favorite tragedy?
A. Hamlet.

I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.
– Mae West.

Q. What happens when you put pigs in a Broadway musical?
A. They squeal the show!

Q. Why was Dracula considered such a great actor?
A. He always took parts he could really dig his teeth into.

Q. Why did Dr. Frankenstein give up his dream of becoming an actor?
A. He couldn't get the parts.

Q. How do critics rank dramatic musical works?
A. Standard opera-rating procedure.

Old dancers never die. They just step aside.

Q. What is a mime's favorite sweet snack?
A. A Marcel-mellow.

Q. What is a vampire's favorite Shakespeare play?
A. A Midsummer Bite's Dream.

Q. Why is Hollywood full of vampires?
A. They need someone to do bit parts!

Q. What do you call the corpse of the magician who died doing during his act?
A. Abra cadaver.

Q. How can you tell an airplane if full of actors?
A. When the engine stalls, the whining continues.

Q. What is a brass player's favorite movie?
A. Gone with the Woodwinds.

Q. Which famous magician always wore a multi-color suit on stage?
A. Hue-dini.

Q. Which fans are the favorites of movie vampires?
A. Their fang club.

Q. What do directors do with dead actors?
A. They put them in the chorus.

Q. Why was the prostitute magician so popular?
A. 'Cause she always had a few good tricks.

Q. How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Just one. They don't like to share the spotlight.

Q. What is an actor's favorite day of the week?
A. Cues-Day.

Q. What did the conceited actress call her dressing room table?
A. Vanity.

Q. Which network is the favorite of cucumbers?
A. Pickle-odeon.

Q. How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?
A. ONE. Actors do not like to share the spotlight!

Q. Which actor is known for silly antics between takes?
A. George Looney.

Q. Which is the most steady job in the circus?
A. Tightrope walker.

Q. What is the name of a popular film about a young martial arts student in Pakistan?
A. The Karachi Kid.

Q. Which silent movie star spent his leisure time at a lake in Vermont?
A. Charlie Champlain.

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