Did you hear about the new Broadway show about puns? It was just a play on words.

Q. Have you seen that new movie Constipated?
A. It hasn't come out yet.

Dramatic Point to Ponder: If an actor falls through the floor, is it just a stage he's going through?

Q. What do you say when the staged satire had already started before you arrived?
A. Late to the parody.

Q. What did one hammy actor say to the others when he departed the scene?
A. Until we emote again…

Q. What do you call it when a mime is run over by a steamroller?
A. A Silent Film.

Q. What does a mime call a monkey?
A. An imperson-aper!

Q. How does a mime intentionally mess up?
A. He says, "Mime Mistake!"

Q. What do you call entertaining crabs crossing the pavement?
A. Side-walk performers.

Q. Why did the ventriloquist quit his job?
A. Dunno. Nobody's heard...

Q. Why do we tell actors to break a leg?
A. Because every play has a cast!

Q. What do you call stage actors who like to go fly fishing?
A. Cast members.

Q. Which type of underwear do actors wear?
A. Movie Shorts.

Q. How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Well, it depends what the script says...

Q. What happened when the audition for the leading role was held?
A. A lot of actors took part.

Q. What do hammy pigs like to do?
A. Squeal the spotlight!

Q. Which actor do hammy thespian pigs try not to emulate?
A. Kevin Bacon.

Q. What did the actor skeleton impersonator choose for his stage name?
A. Pelvis.

Q. What happened when Bigfoot was spotted in Hollywood?
A. It caused a scene.

Q. Which movie proved there will never be life on the Red Planet?
A. Martian Impossible.

Did you hear about the new movie about the Atkins Diet? It's called, "Dude, Where's My Carbs."

Q. Which stage bread only appears for a short time?
A. Cameo Rolls.

Q. Why is it a tradition for actors to serve that green bean dish on Thanksgiving?
A. 'Cause that's a caser-role.

Q. Which famous old-time actor had a knack for triggering wet weather?
A. Cloud Rains.

Q. How many method actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Uh, what's the light bulb's motivation?

Q. What do you call promos for movies about barbers or hair stylists?
A. Combing attractions.

Q. How is going to a singles bar different from going to the circus?
A. At the circus, the clowns don't talk.

Q. Why did the long-running Broadway play finally close?
A. Because the cast had seen better days.

Q. What happened when the well-know actor was spotted?
A. It caused a seen.

It appears that all the folks in crowd scenes in Hollywood films are all action and no talk.

Q. Which old opera was about a valet's comedic attempt to secure his boat?
A. The Moorage of Figaro.

Q. What did the movie's scene being filmed in a machine shop feature?
A. Bit parts.

Q. Why were drive-in movie theaters so popular back in the day?
A. Because people flocked to them in droves.

Q. How do you get into a ghost drama school?
A. Just act supernatural.

Q. Why do mimes like playing the trumpet?
A. It has a lot of mutes!

Q. Which animated film was about a long search for a lost office message?
A. Finding Memo.

Q. How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Only one, as long as it's a revolving stage.

Q. Which movie was about a typical family haunted by a turkey?
A. Poultrygeist.

Q. Why do cheap guys watch porno flicks backward?
A. Because they like the part where the hooker gives the money back.

Q. What is a ghost’s favorite kind of porno?
A. Ghouls Gone Wild.

Q. Why did the blonde ghost try out to be a porn star?
A. 'Cause she had really big boobies.

Q. What is Dracula's porn star name?
A. Vlad the Impaler.

Q. What was the cheesiest 1987 thriller film?
A. Feta Attraction.

Q. How did the mime kick the bucket?
A. He stubbed his pan-toe-mime.

Q. How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None. That's the stage manager's job.

Q. What do you call electronics workers who act like buffoons?
A. Circuit clowns.

Q. Why does the cast always overact on medical dramas?
A. For traumatic effect.

Q. Which topical medication do new adult film stars use?
A. Neosporn.

Q. Where did actor Kelsey get his early education?
A. In Grammar school.

Q. What do you call it when a king has a question and needs to see a ballerina right away?
A. An immediate dancer.

Q. Which Jim Carrey movie was filmed in Denver?
A. Me, Myself, and I25.

Q. What did the guy's parents say when he announced he was going to become a mime?
A. You don't say. An amateur actor tried to thrash around realistically, but he flailed miserably.

Q. Why are shovels, trowels, and spades so common in novels and movies?
A. 'Cause they're plot devices.

Blonde: Doc, are you a James Bond fan?
Dr: No.

Q. Which actress makes money on the side by managing multiple cow and sheep enclosures?
A. Stockyard Channing.

Old actors never die. They just drop apart.

Q. What is a chef's favorite dystopian movie?
A. The Hunger Games.

Q. What do cast members call the cheesy actor that the director just fired?
A. Canned ham.

Q. What is the new movie that's set in a pizza parlor about?
A. A slice of life.

Q. Which 2001 movie was the cheesiest animated film?
A. Muensters Inc.

Q. Which HBO show do pastry chefs like?
A. Game of Scones: All Men Must Die!

Q. What do people who have seen Star Wars multiple times give the film?
A. Great re-views.

Q. Why did the actor in the prescription drug commercials cross the road?
A. To get the the other side effects.

An amateur actor tried to thrash around realistically, but he flailed miserably.

Thanks for stopping by and see you again soon!

Join us on social media and please feel free to share our memes with friends and family:

©2017-2021 Painfulpuns.com All rights reserved.