I starred in a stage play about puns. Actually, it was just a play on words!   PainfulPuns.com - Puns, Jokes, Word Play, Groaners, Ouch!

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Q. What is a heckler's favorite slogan? A. Just boo it!
Q. Why did the vampire become an actor? A. He wanted a part he could dig his teeth into!
Q. Which famous movie diretor was native to a planet close to Earth? A. Martian Scorsese!
Did you see the Will Smith movie about McDonalds? It's called te Pursuit of Happy Meals!

 


Actor Jokes, Performer Puns, Hammy Humor
Here's your ticket to theater jokes, movie puns, staged laughs and Oscar-winning humor.

Acting Humor, Drama Jokes, Entertaining Puns
(Because Overly Theatrical Jokes and Dramatic Puns Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream in Off Off Broadway Plays!)
Warning: Stage Left at Your Own Risk! Hammy jokes, sappy street performer jokes, and play puns ahead.
| Actor Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | Mime Jokes | Actor Pick-Up Lines | Magician Puns | Gnomes Acting Up |
| Creepy Clown Jokes and Circus Humor | Standup Comedian Jokes | Funny Jokes About Jokes |
| Television Jokes, TV Show Puns | Film Jokes, Movie Title Puns | Stage Actor Humor, Play Puns |
| Dancer Jokes, Disco Humor, Dance Puns | Music Jokes | Guitar Player Puns | Colorado Music |

Q. What award is given to the actor who lost the most muscle tone? A. The Sag Award!Q. What can you say to an annoying street performer? A. Oh, just go and mime your own business!Q. How many actors does it take to change a light bulb? A. Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight!

Did you hear about the new Broadway show about puns? It was just a play on words.

Q. Have you seen that new movie Constipated?
A. It hasn't come out yet.

Dramatic Point to Ponder: If an actor falls through the floor, is it just a stage he's going through?

Q. What do you say when the staged satire had already started before you arrived?
A. Late to the parody.

Q. What do you call it when a mime is run over by a steamroller?
A. A Silent Film.

Q. What does a mime call a monkey?
A. An imperson-aper!

Q. How does a mime intentionally mess up?
A. He says, "Mime Mistake!"

Q. What do you call entertaining crabs crossing the pavement?
A. Side-walk performers.

Q. Why do we tell actors to break a leg?
A. Because every play has a cast!

Q. What do you call stage actors who like to go fly fishing?
A. Cast members.

Q. Which type of underwear do actors wear?
A. Movie Shorts.

Q. How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Well, it depends what the script says...

Did you hear about the pigs who put on a musical? They really like to ham it up!Q. Did you see the movie about a hotdog? A. It was an Oscar Weiner!Q. What does a serious collector of classic films own? A. Reel Estate!

Q. What do hammy pigs like to do?
A. Squeal the spotlight!

Q. Which actor do hammy thespian pigs try not to emulate?
A. Kevin Bacon.

Q. What did the actor skeleton impersonator choose for his stage name?
A. Pelvis.

Q. Which movie proved there will never be life on the Red Planet?
A. Martian Impossible.

Did you hear about the new movie about the Atkins Diet? It's called, "Dude, Where's My Carbs."

Q. Which stage bread only appears for a short time?
A. Cameo Rolls.

Q. What happened when the well-know actor was spotted?
A. It caused a seen.

Q. How many method actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Uh, what's the light bulb's motivation?

Q. What do you call promos for movies about barbers or hair stylists?
A. Combing attractions.

Q. How is going to a singles bar different from going to the circus?
A. At the circus, the clowns don't talk.

Q. Why did the long-running Broadway play finally close?
A. Because the cast had seen better days.

It appears that all the folks in crowd scenes in Hollywood films are all action and no talk.

Q. Why can't kids see the new pirate movie? A. Because it's rated ARRR!Q. Did the annoying mime actually make any mondy? A. Nothing to speak of!Q. What is an actor's favorite day of the week? A. Cues Day!

Q. Which old opera was about a valet's comedic attempt to secure his boat?
A. The Moorage of Figaro.

Q. What did the movie's scene being filmed in a machine shop feature?
A. Bit parts.

Q. Why were drive-in movie theaters so popular back in the day?
A. Because people flocked to them in droves.

Q. How do you get into a ghost drama school?
A. Just act supernatural.

Q. Why do mimes like playing the trumpet?
A. It has a lot of mutes!

Q. Which animated film was about a long search for a lost office message?
A. Finding Memo.

Q. How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Only one, as long as it's a revolving stage.

Q. Which movie was about a typical family haunted by a turkey?
A. Poultrygeist.

Q. Why do cheap guys watch porno flicks backward?
A. Because they like the part where the hooker gives the money back.

Q. What is a ghost’s favorite kind of porno?
A. Ghouls Gone Wild.

Q. Why did the blonde ghost try out to be a porn star?
A. 'Cause she had really big boobies.

Q. What is Dracula's porn star name?
A. Vlad the Impaler.

Q. What do actors suffer from after starring in an intense role? A. Post-dramatic stress!Q. How are false teeth like stars? A. Both only come out at night!Q. Which Tom Cruise film was about cooking A. A few good menus!

Q. What was the cheesiest 1987 thriller film?
A. Feta Attraction.

Q. How did the mime kick the bucket?
A. He stubbed his pan-toe-mime.

Q. How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None. That's the stage manager's job.

Q. What do you call electronics workers who act like buffoons?
A. Circuit clowns.

Q. Why does the cast always overact on medical dramas?
A. For traumatic effect.

Q. Which topical medication do new adult film stars use?
A. Neosporn.

Q. What do you call it when a king has a question and needs to see a ballerina right away?
A. An immediate dancer.

Q. Which Jim Carrey movie was filmed in Denver?
A. Me, Myself, and I25.

Q. What did the guy's parents say when he announced he was going to become a mime?
A. You don't say.

Q. Why are shovels, trowels, and spades so common in novels and movies?
A. 'Cause they're plot devices.

Blonde: Doc, are you a James Bond fan?
Dr: No.

Old actors never die. They just drop apart.

Q. What is a chef's favorite dystopian movie?
A. The Hunger Games.

Q. What is the new movie that's set in a pizza parlor about?
A. A slice of life.

Q. Which 2001 movie was the cheesiest animated film?
A. Muensters Inc.

Q. Which HBO show do pastry chefs like?
A. Game of Scones: All Men Must Die!

Q. What do people who have seen Star Wars multiple times give the film?
A. Great re-views.

Q. Why did the actor in the prescription drug commercials cross the road?
A. To get the the other side effects.

| Actor Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | Mime Jokes | Actor Pick-Up Lines | Magician Puns | Gnomes Acting Up |
| Creepy Clown Jokes and Circus Humor | Standup Comedian Jokes | Funny Jokes About Jokes |
| Television Jokes, TV Show Puns | Film Jokes, Movie Title Puns | Stage Actor Jokes, Play Puns |

| Vampire Performing Arts Puns | Artist Jokes | 2 | Hipster Jokes | Arty Hipster Pick-Up Lines |
| Dancer Jokes, Disco Humor, Dance Puns | Music Jokes | Guitar Puns | Colorado Music Jokes |
| Singer Jokes, Vocalist Song Puns | Composer Jokes | Brass Music Jokes | Musician Come-Ons |
| Piano Jokes, Keyboard Puns | Rocking Rock 'N Roll Jokes | Rock Band Jokes | Drummer Jokes |
| Hip Hop Puns | Sax and Violins Puns | Chef Tunes | Scary Music Jokes | Sci-Fi Music Jokes |
| Musical Superhero Jokes | Weed Music Jokes | Wild Animal Music Beasts | Xmas Carol LOLs |

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You're enjoying the show, so here's even more highly
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humor, and well-performed painful puns to keep you entertained:

More Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...

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| Ham Jokes | Light Bulb Jokes | Phone Jokes | Pirate Jokes | Pick-Up Lines | Pizza Jokes | OMG! Religion Jokes |
| Sci-Fi Jokes | Seasonal Humor | Sports Jokes | Travel Jokes | UFO Jokes | Funny Weed Jokes | Zombie Jokes |

Painful Jokes & Groaner Puns Bartender Puns, Bar Humor Frightful Puns, Scary Jokes
Monstrously Funny Puns Crappy Puns & Sh*tty Jokes! Pot Puns, Weed Jokes, Green Grow-ners!

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