Q. Why did the pig quit sun bathing? A. He was bacon in the heat!   PainfulPuns.com - Puns, Jokes, Word Play, Groaners, Ouch!

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ET Chef Asks: What pick-up line did the bacon use on the tomato? A. Lettuce get together!
Q. Where do pigs hook up? A. At the meet market!
Painful Pun: Jokes About German Sausage Are The Wurst!
Did you hear about the lost sausage? It was the missing link.
Q. What do you get if you cross a dinosaur and a pig? A. Jurassic Pork!
Happy Wurst Day!

 


Pork Jokes, Bacon Puns, Ham Humor, Rib Laughs
Roast the day with pork chop jokes, pickled pig feet puns, sausage humor and crisp bacon jokes.

Bacon Jokes, Pork Chop Puns, Baloney Humor
(Because Hammy Jokes, Bacon Humor, and Porky Puns Could Never Be TOO Mainstream at a Hawaiian Pig Roast!)
Warning: Consume with Caution! Baloney jokes, hammy humor, loin-ly laughs and pork chopped puns ahead.
| Pork Jokes, Bacon Puns, Ham LOLs | Butcher Jokes | Steak Jokes | Beef Jokes | 2 | BBQ Jokes |
| Poultry Puns | Deli Jokes | Burger Puns | 2 | 3 | Hot Dog LOLs | Ketchup Jokes, Mustard Puns |
| Colorado Cuisine | Tex-Mex Jokes | Seafood Puns | Pirate Eats | Cop Cuisine | Breakfast Jokes |
| Chef Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Chef Tunes | Gnome Chef Jokes | Chef Come-Ons | Foodie Humor |

Q. Which move does a karate pig use most? A. The Pork Chop!Q. What do you get if a pig and a chicken bump into each other? A. Ham and Eggs!Q. What do you get if you play tug of war with a pig? A. Pulled Pork!

Q. How do you host the best pig roast ever?
A. You go whole hog!

Q. What did the beef steak gossip say to the pork chop?
A. Did you meet Frank's new girlfriend, Patty? I hear they're engaged to be marinated.

Q Why is working at a pork sausage factory the wurst job?
A. Because every day is Ground Hog Day.

Q. Where does a car thief go for a quick pork meal?
A. To the chop shop.

Q. Why was the well-done pork chop's gossip so bad at the barbeque cookout?
A. It just wasn't juicy enough.

Q. Which kind of pork do EMO kids prefer?
A. Cutlets.

Q. Why don't pessimists eat pork?
A. Because they always fear the wurst.

Tasty Point to Ponder: Why do we cook bacon and bake cookies?

Q. Which kind of humor leaves a pork chop cold?
A. Biting wit and a gnawing puns!

Q. What spoiled the big Fourth of July pig roast BBQ luau?
A. When the mosquitoes next door dropped by for a bite.

Meaty Backyard BBQ Chef Hookup Line: Hey baby, wanna pull my pork?

Q. When will people stop dining on ground pork?
A. When pigs fly!

Q. Why did the chef make ham and pineapple wrap sandwiches?
A. That's just Hawaii rolls.

Q. What do you call a pig with a rash? A. Ham and Eczema!Q. What do you get if you cross a pig and a centipede? A. Bacon and Legs!Q. What do you call a dark pig standing in the sun all day? A. Smoked sausage!

Q. What do you get if you cross a pig and a witch in the desert?
A. A Ham Sandwitch.

Baloney Point to Ponder: If two slices of ham in a sandwich got married, would their offspring be inbread?

Q. What is it called when a farmer cuts up a long pulled pork hero sandwich into several pieces?
A. A sub-division.

S-A-L-A-D: That's a funny way to spell PORK!

Q. What does your butcher call a pig with no legs?
A. A Groundhog!

Q. What do you get if you cross a pig and a drunken centipede?
A. Enough pickled pigs feet to feed a crowd!

Q. What does an axe murderer eat for dinner?
A. Pork chops.

Q. Why do pigs have nose rings?
A. Because that makes it easier to make pulled pork.

Q. Why didn't the recipe for vodka-flavored brats catch on at the LoDo hipster eatery?
A. Because it was the Absolut Wurst!

Q. What do you call a wild boar caught in a forest fire?
A. Smoked sausage.

Q. How do you make a pork sausage roll?
A. Push it down a hill.

Q. Why do pork chops make such terrific baseball players?
A. Because they're great at the plate!

Q. What would happen if pigs cuold fly? A. The price of bacon would skyrocket!Ape Chef Says: Smoking will kill you and bacon will kill you, but smoking bacon will cure it!Q. What do you call a pig that's wrong? A. Mistaken Bacon!

Pick Up a Chef Line: Hey dude, are you a pork roast? 'Cause you are really well done.

Q. Why was the pig hired at the restaurant?
A. He was good at bacon burgers.

Q. Why did a guy begin investing in stocks and chicken, beef, and pork commodities?
A. He hoped that one day he'll be a boullion-aire.

Q. Which cut of pork does a goading commedian order?
A. Ribs.

Q. How do you make it the best pig roast ever?
A. You go hog wild!

Q. What do you get if you cross a pig and a tortoise?
A. A slow pork!

Pork Point to Ponder: When a pig farts, does it smell like bacon?

Q. Is it proper to eat country-style BBQ pork ribs with your fingers?
A. No, fingers should be eaten separately!

Q. Why are pork chops so happy at barbeques?
A. They get to meet all their old flames.

Q. How can you tell if your thick pork chops have a high I.Q.?
A. They loin fast.

Q. Which cut of pork smells the wurst?
A. Pickled pigs feet.

Q. What is it called when a guy brags that he ate a dozen pork sandwiches for lunch?
A. A load of baloney.

Q. What do you call a pig that likes to take off her clothes? A. Bacon Strips!Food Pick-Up Joke: Hey Gnirl, you must be a bacon burger 'cause you're bacon me crazy!Q. What do you call a pig thief? A. A Hamburglar!

Pork Poetry: Dear Luau Pig, Hot coals are red, gas flames are blue, but when it comes to meat, all I want is you.

Q. What do pigs like on their Chinese food?
A. Sooey sauce.

Q. Why did the farmer feed his pigs sugar and vinegar?
A. He wanted sweet and sour pork.

Q. Why were the boneless pork chops in the refrigerator embarrassed?
A. They saw the salad dressing.

Q. Which dish is served to royalty on special occasions?
A. Pork crown roast.

Q. Why did the skeleton go to the butcher shop?
A. To pick up a spare rib.

Q. What do elves love to barbeque?
A. Short ribs.

Q. Why was the guy at the meat packing plant fired?
A. For bringing home the bacon.

Q. What is a pork ribs eater's favorite song lyric?
A. "My grill, talking 'bout my grill, my grill."

Q. Who did not write the book, Healthy Lunch Bites?
A. Chris P. Bacon.

Q. Which tasty dish did the dentist order for dinner?
A. Pork choppers.

Q. How can a pregnant woman tell she's carrying a future lawyer?
A. She has uncontrollable cravings for bologna.

Q. What is a pork chop lover's favorite song lyric?
A. "Is it meat you're looking for?"

Q. Why did the skeleton go to the rural barbeque?
A. To get some country-style ribs.

Q. What does a vacuum cleaner eat up on special occasions?
A. Suck-ling pig.

Q. Why did the pig go into the kitchen?
A. He just felt like bacon.

Slogan at the local meat market: A good butcher knows how to handle his pork.

Q. Why did the guy refuse to eat pork?
A. He just didn't have the chops for it.

Q. What can beat any burger at golf?
A. A links sausage!

| Pork Jokes | Butcher Jokes | Steak Jokes | Beef Jokes | 2 | Poultry Puns | BBQ Grill Jokes |
| Deli Jokes | Burger Puns | 2 | 3 | Hot Dog LOLs | Ketchup Jokes, Mustard Puns | Herb | Soup |
| Colorado Cuisine | Tex-Mex Jokes | Seafood Puns | Pirate Eats | Cop Cuisine | Breakfast Jokes |
| Chef Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Chef Tunes | Gnome Chef Jokes | Chef Come-Ons | Foodie Humor |
| Restaurant Jokes | 2 | 3 | Italian Food | 2 | 3 | Pizza Jokes | Pasta Puns | Take Out Food |
| Egg Jokes | Milk | Butter | Cheese Jokes | Cheese Gnomes | Ice Cream | Cookie Candy Puns |
| Carrot Jokes | Peppers | Pickle Puns | 2 | 3 | Potato Puns | Salad | Tomato Jokes | Veggies |
| Fruit Humor | 2 | 3 | Apple Jokes | Banana Funs | 2 | 3 | Lemon | Orange Puns | Strawberry |
| Baker Jokes | 2 | Bread | Dessert Puns | 2 | Beverage | Coffee | 2 | Soda Funny | Beer | Wine |
| Snack Jokes | Halloween Treats | Tasty Cannibal Jokes | Sci-Fi Food Jokes | Green Munchies |
| Diet Puns | Gnome Diet Jokes | Vegetarian Jokes, Vegan Puns | Fitness and Dieting Jokes | 2 |

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You've chewed the fat this long, so here's more choppy laughter, hammy
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