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Q. Why did the pig quit sun bathing? A. He was bacon in the heat!
Diets are for people who are thick and tired of it all.

Q. What do you call a pig that's wrong? A. Mistaken Bacon!
Q. What do you call a pig that likes to take off her clothes? A. Bacon Strips!

 


Egg Jokes, Scrambled Puns, Cracked Humor
Get cracking with with egg-ceptional puns, poached egg humor, and shelly jokes by the dozen.

Yolk Jokes, Hard Boiled Humor, Fried Egg Puns
('Cause Bombshell Humor, Over Easy Jokes, and Shelly Puns Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream for Breakfast at iHop!)
Warning: Walk on Eggshells with Caution! Mislaid jokes, hen pecked humor, and funny-side-up puns ahead.
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Egg Jokes | Milk | Butter | Cheese Jokes | Cheese Gnomes | Ice Cream | Cookie Candy Puns |
| Chef Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Chef Tunes | Gnome Chef Jokes | Chef Come-Ons | Foodie Humor |
| Italian Food Puns | 2 | 3 | Pasta Puns | Restaurant Jokes | 2 | 3 | Pirate Cuisine | Seafood Puns |
| Colorado Cuisine | Tex-Mex Jokes | BBQ | Butcher Jokes | Beef Jokes | 2 | Pork | Poultry |
| Deli Jokes | Burger Puns | 2 | 3 | Hot Dog LOLs | Ketchup Jokes, Mustard Puns | Herb | Soup
|

Q. What do you call the outside of a hand gren-egg? A. The bombshell!I ate a Denver omlette for breakfast and now I'm feeling a bit peckish!Q. Why couldn't the chicken find her egg? A. Because she mislaid it.

Q. How do Painful Punsters prefer their eggs cooked up?
A. Funny side up!

A chicken and an egg walk into the bar at the same time. Bartender says, "Who's first?"

Q. What did the bad chicken lay?
A. A deviled egg!

Q. How do monsters like their eggs?
A. Terror-fried!

Q. How did the egg win the race?
A. It really scrambled!

Q. What does a lost and mixed up hen lay?
A. Scrambled eggs.

Q. How can you tell it's too hot in the henhouse?
A. The chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.

Q. Why can't you tease egg whites?
A. Because they can't take a yoke!

IHOP Chef Chat Up Line: Babe, omelette you in on a my big secret...

Q. Why don't chickens like people?
A. Because they beat eggs.

Q. Why shouldn't you tell an egg a joke?
A. Because it might crack up.

Q. What do you get if you cross a chicken and a dog?
A. Pooched Eggs!

Q. What does a chicken need to lay an egg every day?
A. Hen-durance!

Q. Why did the egg hide?
A. Because it was a little chicken.

You know, walking on eggshells around vegans will only make it worse...

Q. What do you get if a pig and a chicken bump into each other? A. Ham and Eggs!Q. What happens if you drop a hand gren-egg? A. It egg-splodes!Scrambling for an egg joke, but just can't seem to whip one up. Guess I'm fried?

Waffle House Pick Up Line: How do you like your eggs: poached, scrambled, or fertilized?

Q. Who does a chicken farmer call if he thinks his henhouse is haunted?
A. An egg-sorcist.

Q. What do you get if a chicken lays an egg on top of a mountain?
A. A big eggroll.

Q. How are golf balls like eggs?
A. They're white, sold by the dozen, and a week later you have to buy more.

Q. What sort of humor do comedian chickens specialize in?
A. Funny Yolks.

Q. How can you tell if your chicken is a comedian?
A. She tells funny yolks that crack you up.

Q. Why did the chicken lay an egg on top of an axe?
A. She wanted to hatchet.

Q. How can you tell if a chicken is a survivalist?
A. She lays pickled eggs.

Q. What do you call a volume of funny quips, puns, and riddles for chickens?
A. A yolk book.

Q. Did you hear about the chicken who only laid eggs during winter?
A. She was no spring chicken.

Q. Whet did the raccoons do after they raided the henhouse?
A. They enjoyed their poached eggs.

Q. How do chickens leave the henhouse?
A. They use the eggs-it.

Ape Chef Asks: Did you hear about the dominatrix chef? She beats the eggs and whips the cream!Food Pun: A Boiled Egg is Hard to BeatQ. What do you get if a potato and a chicken bump into each other? A. Yam and Eggs!

Q. How are scrambled eggs like a losing Olympian?
A. They've both been beaten.

Q. How did the farmer know a goat was stealing the eggs?
A. The pig squealed on him!

Q. Why do hens lay eggs?
A. Because if they dropped them, they'd break...

Q. How do chickens refer to school tests?
A. Eggs-aminations.

Q. Why don't vegans eat chickens?
A. Because they have eggs in them!

I had a problem with my boiled egg this morning, but I've cracked it now.

Q. What does a chicken order on her pizza?
A. Eggs-tra Cheese!

Q. Why did the poultry farmer always tell jokes to the hens?
A. He liked to egg them on.

Q. How do chickens get off the highway?
A. They take the eggs-it.

Q. Why was the name of Snow White's pet chicken?
A. Egg White.

Q. How does a WWE wrestler like his eggs?
A. Raw!

Fast Food Cook Pick Up Line: Hey bae, you have more legs than this bucket of KFC.

Q. What subject do chickens study in school?
A. Egg-onomics.

Q. Which pedal do rooster racecar drivers favor?
A. The egg-celerator.

Q. Is it possible to scare a squatch out of your yard by tossing eggs at him?
A. Only if you egg-sterminate him.

Q. What do you call a pig with a rash? A. Ham and Eczema! Scrambling for an egg joke, but I can't seem to whip one up.Q. What would happen if pigs cuold fly? A. The price of bacon would skyrocket!

Q. If a rooster laid an egg on top of the henhouse, which way would it roll?
A. No way. Rooster don't lay eggs.

Q. What happened when the chick misbehaved at school?
A. She was egg-spelled.

Q. What do you get when a pig and a chicken have a high-speed collision?
A. Ham and eggs.

Q. What is a chicken's favorite purple vegetable?
A. Eggplant.

Q. How does a pessimist order his eggs?
A. Sunny Side Down.

Q. What happens if a chicken eats gunpowder?
A. She lays hen-gren-eggs.

Q. What do you call a chicken wearing a shell outfit?
A. An egg.

Q. What do you get if a chicken lays an egg on the top of a barn?
A. An eggroll.

Q. What do hungry dogs really enjoy for breakfast?
A. Pooched eggs.

Q. What do healthy organic chicken eggs grow on?
A. Eggplants.

Q. What is the best way to serve eggs on Halloween?
A. Deviled!

Q. Which newspaper headline was obviously written by a chicken?
A. Eggs-tra! Eggs-tra! Read all about it!

Q. What goes up white, but comes down yellow and white? A. An EggQ. What do you get if you cross a pig and a centipede? A. Bacon and Legs!Q. what did the Dalek say to the omelet? A. Eggsterminate!

Q. How does the Easter Bunny always stay so fit?
A. He eggs-ercises.

Q. Why did the Easter egg hide?
A. Because it was a little chicken.

Q. How do we know the Easter Bunny IS really smart?
A. Because he's an egghead!

Q. What happened when the Easter Bunny misbehaved at school?
A. He was egg-spelled!

Ham and Eggs walk into a bar. Bartender says, "Hey, we don't serve breakfast here."

Q. Why do we paint Easter eggs?
A. Because it's easier than wallpapering them.

Q. What do you call a mischievious Easter egg?
A. A practical yolker!

Q. Where do Easter eggs like to go on vacation?
A. New Yolk City.

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road without any hesitation?
A. She thought it was an egg-cellent idea.

Q. Where do Martians get their eggs?
A. From little green hens.

Q. What do demon chickens lay?
A. Deviled eggs.

Waiter: These are the freshest eggs we've had all year.
Customer: I'd prefer eggs that haven't been around that long...

| Egg Jokes | Milk | Butter | Cheese Jokes | Cheese Gnomes | Ice Cream | Cookie Candy Puns |
| Chef Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Chef Tunes | Gnome Chef Jokes | Chef Come-Ons |
Foodie Humor |
| Italian Food Puns | 2 | 3 | Pasta Puns | Restaurant Jokes | 2 | 3 | Pirate Cuisine | Seafood Puns |
| Colorado Cuisine | Tex-Mex Jokes | BBQ | Butcher Jokes | Beef Jokes | 2 | Pork | Poultry |
| Deli Jokes | Burger Puns | 2 | 3 | Hot Dog LOLs | Ketchup Jokes, Mustard Puns | Herb | Soup |
| Carrot Jokes | Peppers | Pickle Puns | 2 | 3 | Potato Puns | Salad | Tomato Jokes | Veggies |
| Fruit Humor | 2 | 3 | Apple Jokes | Banana Funs | 2 | 3 | Lemon | Orange Puns | Strawberry |
| Baker Jokes | 2 | Bread | Dessert Puns | 2 | Beverage | Coffee | 2 | Soda Funny | Beer | Wine |
| Snack Jokes | Halloween Treats | Tasty Cannibal Jokes | Sci-Fi Food Jokes | Green Munchies |
| Diet Puns | Gnome Diet Jokes | Vegetarian Jokes, Vegan Puns | Fitness and Dieting Jokes | 2 |

PainfulPuns Home
You've scrambled this far, so here are even more cheep laughs, shelly jokes,
hatched-up humor and deviled painful puns that'll surly crack you up:

More Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...

| Artist Jokes | Colorado Jokes | Craft Beer Jokes | Cross the Road Jokes | Female Humor | Fun Friday Jokes |
| Gambling Jokes | Gym Jokes | Hipster Humor | Musician Jokes | Pig Puns | Psychic Jokes | Religion Jokes |
| Sci-Fi Jokes | Seasonal Puns | Sports Jokes | Student Jokes | Superhero Puns | Travel Jokes | Weed Jokes |

Clucking Funny Farm Animal PunsPainful Jokes & Groaner PunsBartender Puns, Bar Humor
Garden Puns, Green Groaners Pet Puns + Jokes = Funny Pet Peeves Holiday Puns, Silly Seasonal Jokes

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