Munster Chef Asks: What do you call a fake noodle? A. An impasta!   PainfulPuns.com - Edible Puns, Funny Food, Chef Humor, Java Jokes!

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Q. How many pastry chefs does it take to make pie? A. 3.14, but it only takes one cow!
Ape Chef Asks: Why should you never insult an Italian baker? Because he'll beat the Focaccia!
Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? Sending olive my prayers to his family!
Gorilla Chef Asks: Did you hear about the mean sadistic chef? He bestas the eggs and whips the cream!

 


Chef Puns, Cooking Jokes, Kitchen Laughs
Dish up tasty chef jokes, five-alarm kitchen puns, saucy laughs and delicious cooking humor.

Chef Humor, Yummy Kitchen Jokes, Funny Chefs
(Because Molecular Gastronomy Cooking Techniques Could Never Be Mainstream Enough For Insane TV Chefs!)
Warning: Proceed with Caution! Raw humor, cooked up jokes, and inedible puns may cause indigestion or worse.
| Chef Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Chef Tunes, Culinary Beats | Gnome Chef Jokes | Chef Come-Ons |
| Restaurant Jokes | 2 | 3 | Italian Food | 2 | 3 | Pizza Jokes | Pasta Puns | Take Out Food |
| Butcher Jokes | Steak Jokes | Beef Jokes | 2 | Pork Jokes | Poultry Puns | BBQ Grill Jokes |
| Deli Jokes | Burger Puns | 2 | 3 | Hot Dog LOLs | Ketchup Jokes, Mustard Puns | Herb | Soup |

Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? You never sausage a tragic thing!Q. What does a French chef give his wife on Valentine's Day? A. A hug and a quiche!Q. What did the head chef say when the rookie burned the dessert? A. Is that a crime brulee?

Q. What does it take to be a great chef?
A. It boils down to beating the other chefs to the cutting edge recipes.

My girlfriend is such a bad cook that she uses the smoke alarm as a timer.

Taco chefs earn a meager celery, cumin home beat. They just want to read the pepper and spend some thyme by their shell.

Q. What happened when the seafood chef tried to remove the gritty parts off shrimp?
A. It was a devein attempt.

The cannibal chef daintily wiped his mouth and said, "My wife makes great soup. I'm really going to miss her."

Q. What did the astronomer-turned-chef call his forks, bowls, knives, tongs and colanders?
A. Gastronomical objects.

Q. What kind of humor leaves a TV chef cold?
A. Biting wit and gnawing puns!

A guy went to a big buffet dinner with a taxidermist friend of his. By the end of the evening, he was stuffed!

French Chef Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, you're twice as sweet as Creme Brulee, and a lot less drippy.

Customer: Waiter, is this a joke? This isn't a burrito. It has a hamburger bun.
Waiter: We're sorry. No bun intended.

Cooking Tip of the Day: When the chef ran out of poultry spice, he just winged it.

Q. Why did the frugal chef go to so many stores to find the best prices for herbs?
A. He thought it was thyme well spent.

Crow Chef Asks. What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish? A. Every morning, you rise and shine!Q. What is a crappy chef's favorite thing to do? A Cut the cheese!My friend's bakery burned down. Now his business is toast.

The chef flew into a rage with his new waiter. "Didn't I tell you to notice when the soup boiled over?" The waiter replied, "I did – it was at 4:25."

Q. Why did the baker open a tortilla factory?
A. For the extra bread.

Q. What did the chef do when none of the restaurant's meals impressed him?
A. He made a last dish effort.

Customer: There's a twig in my soup.
Waiter: One moment. I'll get the branch manager.

Q. What kind of race car did the chef drive?
A. A souped-up vehicle!

Q. What did the crusty old chef say to chew out the new guy?
A. This roll is so bad even Nicholas Cage turned it down!

Q. What is it called when a vegetarian reverts to eating meat again?
A. Losing one's veg-inity!

Customer: Waiter, there's a fly in the salsa.
Waiter: Oh, don't worry. The spider in your taco will get him.

Q. Which famous baker was compelled to precisely time every recipe she prepared?
A. Betty Clocker.

Q. What does bread do after it's done baking?
A. It loafs around.

Q. What is the best way to serve a stack of puncakes?
A. Syruptitiously.

Q. Why were the lemon meringue pies in the refrigerator embarrassed?
A. They saw the salad dressing!

Chimp Chef Asks: Have you heard about Suzette? She's full of crepe!Chef Pun: Got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.Cow Chef Asks: What kind of music do chefs like to listen to? Wok N Roll!

Q. Why couldn't the chef get into the restaurant?
A. He had gnocchi.

Q. How many pastry chefs does it take to make a perfectly round pie?
A. 3.14.

I just burned 2000 calories. That's the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I take a nap.

Q. Why was the baker in a panic?
A. Because he was in a loaf or death situation.

Q. Why was the baker so grumpy?
A. He woke up on the wrong side of the bread!

Working in a bakery for decades left the baker with a loathe of bread.

Q. Which R&B funk tribute band only plays in kitchens?
A. Earth, Wind, and Fryer!

Did you hear about the new drive-thru restaurant for golfers? They insist upon putting greens on all their courses!

Q. Which song to burger chefs sing on the job?
A. Gristle While You Work.

How do you impress a baker when you're taking his daughter on a date? A. Briing her flours!Et Chef Asks: How weird is it if a chef uses a sieve or a colander? A. Stainer things have happened!Q. How did the hipster burn his tongue eating pizza? A. He ate it before it was cool!

Did you hear about the baker with 12 children? There's always a bun in the oven. But, will they stop at an even baker's dozen?

Q. What did they say about the old baker's favorite song?
A. It's a moldie, but a goodie!

Today's Culinary Wisdom: Never trust a skinny chef!

Chef Pick-Up Line: I'm not good at cooking, so let's go out some thyme.

Two cooks had a heated argument, but after they simmered down, they decided to just hash it out.

Q. Which kind of baked wonder do elves makes sandwiches with?
A. Short bread!

That Italian chef is really annoying. He's making a pesto himself.

Q. Why doesn't the Italian chef tell pizza jokes?
A. Because he knows they're just too cheesy for his taste.

Customer: Waiter, this pepperoni tastes funny.
Waiter: Then, why aren't you laughing?

| Chef Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Chef Tunes | Gnome Chef Jokes | Chef Come-Ons | Foodie Humor |
| Restaurant Jokes | 2 | 3 | Italian Food | 2 | 3 | Pizza Jokes | Pasta Puns | Take Out Food |
| Butcher Jokes | Steak Jokes | Beef Jokes | 2 | Pork Jokes | Poultry Puns | BBQ Grill Jokes |
| Deli Jokes | Burger Puns | 2 | 3 | Hot Dog LOLs | Ketchup Jokes, Mustard Puns | Herb | Soup |
| Colorado Cuisine | Tex-Mex Jokes | Seafood Puns | Pirate Eats | Cop Cuisine | Breakfast Jokes |
| Egg Jokes | Milk | Butter | Cheese Jokes | Cheese Gnomes | Ice Cream | Cookie Candy Puns |
| Carrot Jokes | Peppers | Pickle Puns | 2 | 3 | Potato Puns | Salad | Tomato Jokes | Veggies |
| Fruit Humor | 2 | 3 | Apple Jokes | Banana Funs | 2 | 3 | Lemon | Orange Puns | Strawberry |
| Baker Jokes | 2 | Bread | Dessert Puns | 2 | Beverage | Coffee | 2 | Soda Funny | Beer | Wine |
| Snack Jokes | Halloween Treats | Tasty Cannibal Jokes | Sci-Fi Food Jokes | Green Munchies |
| Diet Puns | Gnome Diet Jokes | Vegetarian Jokes, Vegan Puns | Fitness and Dieting Jokes | 2 |


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You've taken a bite, so we've cooked up more saucy humor, tasty laughs,
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Clucking Funny Farm Animal Puns Work Humor, Joking on the JobSharp Pick-Up Lines, Cheesy Come-Ons

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