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Q. What is a locksmith's favorite lake? A. Loch Ness!
A magician was driving down the road, then he turned into a driveway.
Q. what did Yoda say when he gave Luke his first car? A. May the Porsche be with you!
Q. Where do brains go on vacation in Massachusetts? A. Braintree, MA!

 


Travel Jokes, Road Trip Humor, Vacation Puns
Roll along with funny vacation jokes, moving tourist puns, and stalled travel humor.

Vacation Jokes, Travel Puns, Tourist Humor
(Because Short Vacation Jokes and Road Trip Puns Could Never Be TOO Mainstream When You're Lost!)
Warning: Roll Down This Road with Caution! Wayward humor, traveling jokes, and exhausting puns ahead.
| Travel Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | World Traveler Jokes | British Travel Jokes | USA State Jokes |
| Traffic Jokes, Road Trip LOLs | Car Puns | Auto Mechanic Jokes | Truck Jokes | Commute Jokes |
| Gas Station Jokes | Air Travel Jokes | Mile High Club Jokes | Motorcycle Jokes | Bicycle Puns |
| Space Travel Puns | Time Traveler Jokes | On Time Puns | Sea Travel Humor | 2 | Train Jokes |


When engineers built the new traffic roundabout, they pulled out all the stops!Q. Why do hipsters tend to stick to back country streams in Colorado? A. Because they're less main stream!Q. Why did the blonde smear peanut butter on the road? A. To go with the traffic jam!

Q. What did the green light say to warn all of the oncoming traffic?
A. Don't look now, I'm changing!

Q. How many tourists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Six. One to screw in the bulb, and five to ask for directions.

Q. Why don't all that many blonde Texans vacation in Colorado?
A. The sign said Colorado Left, so they turned around and went home.

Q. Why do hipsters travel on the subway?
A. Because it's so underground!

Q. How did the wannabe hipster die on vacation?
A. Oops! He tried to cross the mainstream!

Did you hear about the blonde hipster who wore a jacket during her summer vacation, before it was cool?

Q. How did the blonde hipster drown?
A. She ice skated before it was cool.

Unanswered Road Trip Riddle: Why does a guy who runs after a car get exhausted and a guy who runs in front of the car get tired?

Q. Why is just sitting in traffic a bad idea?
A. Because you will get run over!

Q. Why did the guy just sit in the street in the middle of traffic?
A. Because he was feeling really run down.

Travel Pick-Up Line: Are you from Paris? 'Cause you are driving me in-Seine.

Q. Where does a locksmith like to go on his vacation? A. The Florida Keys!Q. What do you call a chauffeur that drives you to under-the-bar dances? A. A Limbo Service!Q Why did the pirate go on vacation? A. He needed some aRRR and aRRR!

Q. Where might you vacation if you have a spiteful side?
A. Haiti.

Q. What happened when the pilot on vacation decided to cook while in the air?
A. It was a recipe for disaster.

Q. What did the vacationing passengers say about the food served on the small airliner?
A. It was a little plane.

Q. Which vacation is more expensive than swimming with dolphins?
A. Swimming with sharks. That costs an arm and a leg.

Q. Why are chauffeur jokes so few and far between?
A. Because there's a cap on limo driver jokes.

Q. Why did the limo driver retire?
A. He'd been driving for 25 years and still had nothing to chauffeur it.

Q. Why aren't there many limo jokes?
A. The topic is just too much of a stretch.

Q. Which town only has roads teeming with tire-snagging depressions?
A. The Holey City.

Tourist Point to Ponder: Isn't it ironic that ants don't live in Antarctica?

Q. Do fish ever go on vacation?
A. No, they're always in school.

Q. Where does a goldfish go on vacation?
A. Around the globe.

Q. Where do you vacation to watch for large sea mammals?
A. Wales.

Travel Pick-Up Line: Hey Bae, I could really put some motion in your ocean.

Q. Which mysterious Mafia member dwells alongside a long lake in Scotland?
A. The Loch Ness Mobster!

You might be from Colorado if you joined the "Mile High Club: in the back seat of an SUV!His wife wanted to hike up the hill but he wasn't so inclined.Q. What do you call it when a strong storm hits the coast of Maine? A. Augusta wind!

Q. Why are mountains the most fun place to go on your road vacation?
A. Because they're hill areas!

Q. Who wrote the travel guide, Where to Stay on Your Econo Vacation?
A. Moe Tell.

Q. Why can't basketball players, other than the Nuggets, vacation in Denver?
A. Because they'd be called for traveling.

Q. Why did the librarian get booted off her vacation flight to DIA?
A. It was overbooked.

Q. If you're hiking while vacationing in Colorado and find a fork in the road, what should you do?
A. Stop for lunch!

Q. Where do crayons go to vacation?
A. Colorado!

Q. What does a cowboy on vacation in Cowlorado call bad directions from a heiffer?
A. A bum steer.

Q. How did the blonde nurse define a triple bipass?
A. A very complicated freeway on ramp.

Q. What do you call the clamy temperature between two Georgians?
A. Relative humidity.

Q. What was the tourist's complaint about the beach?
A. It was too sandy.

The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve time travelers here." A time traveler walks into a bar.

Q. What happens when a plaster delivery truck wrecks and spills a load during rush hour?
A. You get stucco in traffic. OUCH!

Q. What is a balloonist's favorite day of the week? A. Fly Day!Happy Turns Day!Q. What do you call that feeling you get when you see a cop car in your rear view mirror? A. Cop sick shock syndrome!

Q. Which airline do vampires take when going on vacation?
A. Scare Canada!

Q. What does a baker do on vacation?
A. He just loafs around.

Q. What did the tourist say while visiting Bulgaria?
A. Sophia, so good!

Q. What did it take for America to become a pioneer in the aviation industry?
A. The Right brothers.

Q. How did the barber travel during his last vacation?
A. He combed the area by hair plane.

Q. Where do you go to vacation if you really like spicy food?
A. Chile.

Q. How do you describe airline food?
A. It was a little plane.

Q. What happened to the frog on vacation in the No Parking Zone?
A. He got toad away!

Q. What do you do in Italy's capital if you don't have an official agenda?
A. Roam Rome.

Q. What did the car say after it crashed?
A. Ouch, that was wheely unfortunate.

Q. What did the cops say when the bank robbers on the lam were stopped by an automobile?
A. That's carma for ya!

Q. What did the doctor tell the guy who got sick at the airport?
A. It's a terminal disease.

Road Travel Point to Ponder: Is having car insurance a pre-wreck-quisite?

| Travel Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | World Traveler Jokes | Europe Vacation | British Travel Jokes |
| France Travel Jokes | Great White North Travel Jokes | USA State Jokes | Travel Hookup Lines |
| Traffic Jokes and Road Trip Humor | Gas Jokes, Petrol Puns | Car Puns | Auto Mechanic Jokes |
| Truck Jokes, Semi Puns, Trucker Humor | Taxi, Cab, Uber, Limo Jokes | Train Travel Jokes |
| Bicycle Jokes, Bike Puns | Motorcycle Jokes | Biker Gnome Jokes | River Jokes, Upstream Puns |
| Space Travel Puns | Time Traveler Humor | On Time Jokes | Redneck Jokes, Good Ol' Boy LOLs |
| Air Travel Jokes, Airport Humor | Mile High Club Jokes | Sea Trip Puns | 2 | Gnome Travel Jokes |
| Cross the Road Jokes | Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road? | Sci-Fi Crossed the Road | 2 |
| Colorado Commuter Jokes | Colorado Jokes | Mile High Denver Jokes | Colorado Tourism Jokes |
| You Might Be From Colorado If... | Mountain Jokes | Hipster Humor | Painful Groaner Jokes |

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