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Wookie says: I came across two talking stones while hiking in Colorado! One was big, but shy. The other was a little Boulder!
Q. Why doesn't a pickle like to travel? A. Because it's a jarring experience!
Always be careful when driving to evening parties? Better safe than soiree!
Q. Which USA state is the favorite of pirates? A. Arrkansas!

 


Vacation Jokes, Trip Humor, Travel Puns
Travel right along on a guided tour of travel humor, vacation puns, and funny tourist jokes.

Travel Jokes, Vacation Humor, Tourist Puns
(Because Cool Travel Jokes Could Never Be TOO Mainstream When You're on a Hot Summer Vacation!)
Warning: Vacation Here at Your Own Risk! Guided humor, leisurely jokes, and over-booked puns ahead.
| Travel Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | World Traveler Jokes | British Travel Jokes | Air Travel Puns |
| Road Trip Jokes and Traffic Humor | Car Jokes | Auto Mechanic Puns | Colorado Tourist Jokes |
| Cross the Road Jokes | Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road? | Sci-Fi Crossed the Road | 2 |
| Travel Pick-Up Lines | Sea Trip Jokes | 2 | Space Travel Jokes | Time Travel Jokes | Time Puns |

Q. What do you call rude Canada geese? A. In Colorado, you know better than to call a goose!If you're tubing down a river right now, is that a current event?Q. Where do swine go to vacation? A. Tro-pig-cal islands!

Q. Which kind of confections do they serve at the airport?
A. Plane chocolate.

Q. Why did the librarian get kicked off his scheduled vacation flight?
A. Because it was over-booked!

Q. Where do pet song birds like to go on vacation?
A. Canary Islands.

Travel Pick-Up Line: Are you from Mars? 'Cause your ass is out of this world!

Travel Pick-Up Line: Whoa, I can't swim, Babe! Can I hold onto your floaties?

Q. What did the Greek guide say when the tourists were late for the tour of the cheese factory?
A. Feta late than never.

OUCH! I hit my head on a bridge while river rafting on vacation. It would have been okay if viaduct!

Q. Where do pet rodents like to spend their leisure time?
A. Hamsterdam!

Q. What did the pig say while on his sunny beach vacation?
A. I am bacon!

Q. How can you tell that elephants love to travel?
A. They're equiped with trunks!

Q. How do rabbits travel while on vacation?
A. By Hareplane.

Travel Pick-Up Line: Have you checked in yet? 'Cause I am checking you out!

Q. What is a castaway's favorite day of the week? A. Friday!Q. Who earns a living driving their customers away? A. A taxi driver!Q. What did one boat say to the other on Valentine's Day? A. Are you up for a little row-mance?

Q. What did the traveler say while on vacation in Cuba?
A. I'm Havana great time!

Q. What is gray, has four legs, and a trunk?
A. A mouse on vacation.

Q. What are the best times to party while you're on vacation?
A. Daytime and Nighttime.

Q. What do you call massive marine mammals traveling in huge cars?
A. Steering whales.

Q. Why did the conscientious taxi driver get fired?
A. Because he always went the extra mile.

Q. What was the heyday of taxis in Beijing called?
A. Chinese cabb-age.

Did you hear about the limo driver who had been on the road for five years without a single fare? He had nothing to chauffeur it!

Q. What did the jack say to the hot car?
A. Can I give you a lift?

Q. What is a horny pirate's worst nightmare on shore leave?
A. A sunken chest with no booty!

Q. What did the captain say when the pirate ship ran aground?
A. We're SHIP out of luck!

Q. What did the truck driver say to the pirate hitchhiker?
A. Hop aboard!

Q. How do French skeletons greet each other?
A. Bone-jour!

Q. What goes through towns, up and over hills, but doesn't move? A. The roadQ. What do you get if you cross an elephant and the abominable snowman? A. A Jumbo Yeti!Q. How does a nowman get around? A. He rides an icicle!

Q. Why aren't there more funny automobile jokes?
A. Because car puns are exhausting!

Q. What happened to the guy who found himself on the road to Hell?
A. After he drove over the pothole to Hell, he had to call roadside assistance from Hell. OUCH!

Q. Why did the time-traveling chicken cross the road?
A. To find out what all the jokes were about.

Q. What happened when the blonde left her ADHD medication in her Ford Fiesta?
A. It turned into a Ford Focus.

Q. Which kind of primate can fly?
A. A hot-air baboon.

Q. What happens if Bigfoot gets lost in the fog?
A. He is mist!

Q. Why did Godzilla attack the automobile dealership?
A. Because he wanted to pick up trucks.

Q. Where do cows go on summer vacation?
A. MooYork City.

Q. Which country do folks with explosive tempers go to on vacation?
A. Grenada.

Last Minute Vacation Travel Plans Thought of the Day: I'd like to vacation in Holland. Wooden shoe?

Q. What does the travel guide say when you're late to the tour of the Greek cheese factory?
A. Feta late than never!

Q. Why don't duck pilots tell jokes while they're flying?
A. So they don't quack up!

Q. What did Scotty say to the crew of the Enterprise say when they orbited over western England?
A. Thar be Wales down there.

Did you hear about the guy who just stepped in quicksand? Te urgency of the situation hadn't sunk in!Q. What do you call an eye doctor in Alaska? A. An optical Aleutian!Shuttle Launch Says: Happy Thrust Day!

Q. Why didn't the cheap guy want to pay much for an off-roading vehicle?
A. He wanted to get it dirt Jeep.

Q. Where do you go for vacation if you're in a hurry?
A. Russia.

Q. What's the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?
A. One minds the train, and the other trains the mind!

Q. Why did the railroad construction fall behind schedule?
A. Because they needed to get back on track.

Q. What kind of vehicle does a crazy man drive?
A. A Locomotive!

Travel Point to Ponder: If you want to hang a map and add pushpins of places you've been, do you have to visit the top two corners first?

Q. What do you call a healthy guys who just moved from Portland?
A. Oregon Transplant!

Q. Which new country song is the saddest of all time?
A. The one where the guy sings about his wife, dog, and self-driving truck all left him.

Q. Why don't that many aliens vacation on planet Earth?
A. Due to the terrible one-star ratings.

Q. What is it called when you finally arrive at the gates to the amusement park?
A. Entranced.

Q. How did America's westward expansion take place during the 1800s?
A. In Stages.

Q. Why didn't the Czech Republic tour guide take any bull sh*t from the vacationers?
A. He was very Prague-matic.

| Travel Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | World Traveler Jokes | British Travel Jokes | Time Travel | 2 |
| Road Trip Jokes and Traffic Humor | Car Puns | Auto Mechanic Jokes | Space Travel Puns |
| Air Travel Humor and Mile High Club Jokes | Gnome Travel Jokes | Sea Trip Humor | 2 |
| Cross the Road Jokes | Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road? | Sci-Fi Crossed the Road | 2 |
| Colorado Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | Denver | 2 | 3 |
| You Might Be From Colorado If... | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Tourism | Mountains | 2 | 3 | Hipsters |
| Painful Groaner Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 |

PainfulPuns Home
You've traveled down this far, so here's even more
e-vacation humor,
trippy jokes, and planely funny painful puns to keep you right on course:

More Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...

| Biker Gnome Puns | Blonde Jokes | Brew Pub Puns | Chef Jokes | Cocktail Puns | Fashion Puns | Fitness Jokes |
| Hair Jokes | Hipster Jokes | Light Bulb Jokes | Music Puns | Outer Space Puns | Pick-Up Lines | Pirate Puns |
| Psychic Jokes | Religion Jokes | Sci-Fi Jokes | Sports Jokes | Weather Puns | Weed Jokes | Weekend Jokes |

Edible Puns, Fun with Food Bartender Puns, Bar Humor Animal Puns, Wildlife Humor
Smart Humor! Science + Math = Puns Crappy Puns & Sh*tty Jokes! Holiday Puns, Silly Seasonal Jokes

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