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European
Vacation Jokes, France Puns, UK Humor
Travel
along with Roman humor, Swede puns, Transylvania grins, Lappland laughs
and Euro jokes.
Europe Travel Jokes, Germany Humor, Swiss Puns
(Because Norway Jokes and Czech
Puns Could Never Be TOO Mainstream If Russian Humor
is Greek to You!) |
Warning:
Proceed with Caution and Passport! Paris jokes, Finland humor, bye-lingul
LOLs and Flatvia puns ahead.
| Europe Vacation Jokes | British
Travel Jokes | World Traveler | Travel
Jokes | Travel Hookups |
| France Travel Jokes, Paris Puns
| Canada Jokes, Alaska Humor, Polar
Puns | USA State Jokes |
| Air Travel Jokes, Airport Humor
| Mile High Club Jokes |
Sea Trip Puns | Gnome Travel Jokes
|
Q.
What do you call automobile fuel pumped at a station on
an official line between two countries in Europe?
A. Border petrol.
A
man attempted to smuggle sausage and vodka out of Europe
in his suitcase. But the baggage caught on fire and the
plane had to be evacuated. It was the Absolut wurst case
scenario!
Q.
What did the travelers say about their group vacation accomodations
throughout Europe?
A. It was a hostel envirnoment!
Q.
Do old Europeans ever die?
A. No, but sometimes they do become incontinent.
Q.
What are you if you can say farewell in a variety
of different European languages?
A. Bye-lingual.
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Q.
Which week-long annual Dutch event commemorates the pleasures
of kissing
A. The Two-Lip Festival.
Traveler
Thought of the Day: I'd like to vacation in Holland. Wooden
shoe?
Q.
What do you say to your mate who is struggling to sleep
in Stockholm?
A. Swede Dreams!
Q.
Why did the Swedish prostitues leave London?
A. Because they found out Big Ben was a clock.
Travel
Pick-Up Line: Hey, are
you from Stockholm? 'Cause you're the Swedish girl I've
ever seen.
Q.
What was the owner of the old classic Swedish car company
including in his auto biography?
A. His Saab story. |
Q.
Which kind of cars do prostitutes in Norway drive?
A. Fjord Escorts.
Q.
What did the Florida beach blonde say after hearing Oslo
is a cold vacation destination?
A. There's Norway I'd ever go there!
Travel
Pick-Up Line: Girl, there
is Norway you're driving off before I get your number.
Q.
Who administers care to you if you're laid up in a Scandinavian
hospital?
A. A registered Norse.
Q.
Why did the limbo dancer's European tour en in Norway?
A. There, he went Oslo as he could go.
Q.
Which element is derived from a thunderous Norse god?
A. Thorium! |
Q.
Why was the blonde guy afraid to fly to Finland?
A. He was afraid he'd disappear in FinnAir!
Q.
Where do sharks like to go on their summer vacation?
A. Finland!
Q.
What do you call a tourist who falls onto you aboard a train
up north?
A. A Lapp-Lander.
Q.
What is the biggest rope in the wold?
A. Europe.
Q.
How can you tell if a church in Europe has no money?
A. It's Baroque.
Q.
What is the most popular gas bran in Naples, Italy?
A. Pump Pay. |
A
Roman walks into a bar, holds two fingers up to the bartender
and says, "Five beers please."
Q.
Which Europeans travel the most?
A. Romans.
Q.
What do you call an old realm ruler who was great at strengthening
various metals?
A. The Holy Roman Temperer.
Q.
What do you do in Italy's capital if you don't have an official
agenda?
A. Roam Rome.
Q.
Why did the tourist get a babysitter in Italy?
A. So he'd be free to Roma.
Q.
What is a profound reverence for a certain old Roman emperor
called?
A. Nero worship.
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A
German tourist orders a martini. Bartender asks, "Dry?"
Confused, the German guy replies, "No, just one."
Q.
Which country has the most viruses?
A. Germany.
Q.
What do German wheat farmers say at bedtime?
A. Gluten Nacht!
Q.
What do you call the guy on the company's group of directors
who was born in Berlin?
A. The German of the board.
Grumpy
old European tourists never die, but they just don't come
back.
France
Fact of the Day: French fries aren't cooked in France. They're
cooked in Greece. |
Q.
Why is every television program in Geneva about time?
A. Because that's what the Swiss watch!
Q.
Where might you vacation in Europe if you like really nice
things?
A. Luxembourg.
Q.
Why didn't the Czech Republic tour guide take any bull sh*t
from the vacationers?
A. He was very Prague-matic.
European
Vacation Pick-Up Line:
Are you from Prague? 'Cause I can't help but Czech you out!
Q.
What do you get if you cross a fisherman and a jazz enthusiast?
A. An Anglin-Saxon. |
Q.
What did the bartender say to the patron who was drinking
his vodka way too fast?
A. Stop, Russian!
Q.
Which forest animal is the mascot of the Russian Capital?
A. The Moss Cow.
Q.
Where do you go for vacation if you're in a hurry?
A. Russia.
Q.
What do you call a gnome trouble maker that resides in Moscow’s
citadel?
A. A Kremlin gremlin.
Q.
What do you call a fisherman from Warsaw?
A. A fishing Pole.
|
Q.
Why is London's famous clock tower such a popular attraction?
A. Because tourists and locals enjoy it time and time again.
Q.
What happened to the guy who bought London Bridge pants?
A. They kept falling down!
OUCH!
I hit my head on bridge in London. It would have been okay
if viaduct!
Q.
Which kind of sankes are prestigious in London?
A. Sir Pents.
Q.
Why do you always have to swim to get to Scottish houses?
A. Because there's a loch on every door. |
|
|
Q.
What's a Grecian urn?
A.
About
50,000
drachmas
a year,
after taxes.
|
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|
Q.
Why doesn't anybody attempt to swim under the river in Paris?
A. Because that would be in-Seine. Eau, oui!
Q.
What happened when two cheese delivery trucks collided in
Paris?
A. De brie was everywhere!
Q.
What did the tourists get when they saw the Paris tower
lit up at night?
A. An Eiffel.
A
French tourist in England calls room service and asks for
some pepper. The hotel employee asks, "What kind of
pepper, sir? Black, white, or red?" The Frenchman replies,
"Toilet pepper."
Q.
What is the specialty of the French drug dealer?
A. Oui-d.
Travel
Pick-Up Line: Are you
from Paris? 'Cause you are driving me in-Seine. |
Q.
Why are Greek firemen so ineffective?
A. 'Cause you're not supposed to put water on a Greece
fire.
Q.
What did the waiter say to the tourists who arrived late
to the restaurant in Athens?
A. Feta late than never...
Q.
What do you call a Greek back doctor who isn't a physician?
A. A gyropractor.
Q.
What did the Greek guide say when the tourists were late
for the tour of the cheese factory?
A. Feta late than never.
Tourism
Point to Ponder: Will the Acropolis still be a tourist attraction
in another 2000 years? It remains to be seen.
Q.
In which geological era was a Greek island prominant?
A. The Crete-acios period.
|
Q.
Why does Norway have bar codes on their fleet?
A. So they can scan-da-navy-in.
Q.
What is it called in Norway when a guy falls into a gully?
A. A fjord-ian slip.
Q.
What long, hard thing does a Norwegian woman get on her
wedding night?
A. A surname.
Q.
What was the high-tech robot in Norway doing?
A. It Scand-an-avian.
Q.
What do natives call a big party in Norway?
A. A fjord fiesta.
Q.
What do they call a herd of equines on the banks of a water
inlet in Norway?
A. Wild fjord mustangs. |
Q.
Do they
serve T-bone
steaks in
Transylvania?
A.
Only
very rarely.
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|
Q.
Why is the
Irish banker
always
so happy?
A.
Because
his capital's
Dublin.
|
Q.
What did Captan Kirk call Mister Spock when he left the
Enterprise and moved to Bulgaria?
A. Balkan Vulcan.
Q.
Which European country is nearly devoid of any mountains
or hills?
A. Flatvia.
Q.
What did the tourist say while visiting Bulgaria?
A. Sophia, so good!
Q.
Why did the Romanian guy stop reading for the day?
A. To give his Bucharest.
Q.
Which country is completely obsessed by the sea?
A. Row-mainia.
Q.
What do you call a friend in central Europe who you play
chess with?
A. Czech mate.
Q.
What do Russians call their retro Legos?
A. Soviet Bloc.
Q.
Why hasn't anybody heard the latest Russian doll riddle?
A. 'Cause it's an inside joke.
Q.
Why are Russian nesting dolls so difficukt?
A. 'Cause they're so full of themselves. |
Q.
What do you say to friends who are going on their dream
vacation to a German city?
A. Bonn Voyage.
Q.
What did the German version of The Wizard of Oz include?
A. Munich-kins.
Q.
What is Bigfoot called in Europe?
A. Bigmeter.
Q.
How is Europe like your fridge?
A. The freeing cold part is on the top. The middle has the
cheese, meet, and beverages. On the bottom, you just have
turkey and grease.
Q.
What's one way America and Europe are different?
A. Americans call inbred resident hillbillies,
and Erupeans call theirs royalty.
Q.
How do Europeans refer to Miley Cyrus?
A. Kilometer Cyrus.
Q.
Which joke punch line is the same in every European country?
A. USA.
Q.
Where are you if you're riding down the the road in the
Alps and see a bear?
A. On the road to bruin.
Q.
What do porpoises call a boring sailorman from a fiord near
Helinski?
A. A dull Finn. |
Q.
Why did St. Patrick drive all the snakes out of Ireland?
A. He couldn't afford the plane fare.
Q.
Which European country should you visit if you enjoy being
angry?
A. Ireland.
Wine
Trivia: A Cork Retriever is not a dog from Ireland!
Q.
What is the large gathering of enchanting Irish people called?
A. Lepre-Con.
Q.
What do folks in Dublin call a baker?
A. Ginger bread man.
Q.
Which ingredient do chefs add to spice up Irish dishes?
A. Gaelic cloves.
Q.
Why did the old Scotsmen die?
A. Because he was dressed to be kilt.
Q.
What did the king and queen do at the big brawl?
A. They put up their dukes.
Q.
What is the hoseiery capital of Sweden?
A. Sockholm.
Q.
What is the Italian equivalent to the NRA called?
A. Prosciutto. |
|
Europe Vacation Jokes | British
Travel Jokes | World Traveler | Travel
Jokes | Travel Hookups |
| France Travel Jokes, Paris Puns
| Canada Jokes, Alaska Humor, Polar
Puns | USA State Jokes |
| Air Travel Jokes, Airport Humor
| Mile High Club Jokes |
Sea Trip Puns | Gnome Travel Jokes
|
| Traffic Jokes and Road Trip Humor
| Gas Jokes, Petrol Puns | Car
Puns | Auto Mechanic Jokes
|
| Truck Jokes, Semi Puns, Trucker Humor
| Taxi, Cab, Uber, Limo Jokes | Train
Travel Jokes |
| Motorcycle Jokes | Biker
Gnome Jokes | Bicycle Jokes, Bike
Puns | River Jokes, Upstream Puns
|
| Space Travel Puns | Time
Traveler Humor | On Time Jokes | Redneck
Jokes, Good Ol' Boy LOLs |
| Cross the Road Jokes | Why
Did the Chicken Cross the Road? | Sci-Fi
Crossed the Road | 2 |
| Colorado Commuter Jokes | Colorado
Jokes | Mile High Denver Jokes
| Colorado Tourism Jokes |
| You Might Be From Colorado If...
| Mountain Jokes | Hipster
Humor | Painful Groaner Jokes |
You're
still enjoying this trip, so
here's even more accented laughter,
foreign
jokes, humor translations and
borderline painful puns that'll
really move you:
|
More
Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...
|
Artist Jokes | Banker
Jokes | Beer Jokes | Chef
Jokes | Fashion Jokes | Haunted
Humor | Italian Food Jokes
|
| Locksmith Jokes |
Man Jokes | Pasta Puns | Pirate
Jokes | Police Puns | Psychic
Jokes | Religion Jokes |
| Rat Jokes | Sci-Fi
Jokes | Seasonal Puns | Skeleton
Jokes | Sports Jokes | Tech
Support Jokes | Urine Jokes
|
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