Colorado Point to Ponder: Why is it called Tourist Season if folks in Colorado Springs can't shoot at them?

Q. Why didn't the pirate tourist enjoy the concert at Red Rocks Amphitheatre?
A. Because he was in the last row.

Q. How did the Colorado dude ranch owner figure out which horse was most popular with the tourist dudes?
A. He conducted a Gallop Poll.

Q. What kind of jacket do you wear when hiking in the Colorado Rockies?
A. A trail blazer.

Two blondes were on a road trip to Denver. The sign said, "Denver Left," so they started crying and went home.

Q. Why did the blonde tourist smack her camera with a frying pan?
A. She wanted a pan-o-ram-ic shot of Pike's Peak!

Q. Why did the blonde Colorado tourist hate the winding road over Guanella Pass?
A. It was driving her crazy!

Q. Why are the Colorado ski slopes so funny to tourists?
A. Because they're hill areas!

Q. What did ET's mother say to him when he got back home?
A. Where on Earth have you been?

Q. Which breakfast treat do tourists enjoy while vacationing in Colorado?
A. Vape Nuts.

Q. What is a Colorado skier's mantra?
A. There's snow place like home!

Q. Why should you stay a mile high?
A. The view is amazing up here.

Q. What did the vacationing optometrist need for sightseeing in the Colorado Rockies?
A. An eye-tinerary.

Colorado Tourism Slogan: Weed like to welcome you.

Q. Why don't more aliens visit our planet?
A. Terrible ratings – only one star!

Q. Which vehicle does Darth Vader drive while vacationing in Colorado?
A. Nissan Rogue.

You might be from Colorado if you refer to tourists as pilgrims or turkeys.

Colorado Tourist: Why don't you have doggie bags here?
Waiter at Cherry Cricket: Sir, that would be cruelty to animals.

Q. What can a Colorado tourist do to learn more about Pikes Peak?
A. Just study up on it.

Q. How many Colorado tourists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Five. One to hold the bulb, and four to ask for directions.

Q. Why did a near-sighted tourist from Kansas fall into Glenwood Springs?
A. Because he didn't see that well!

Colorado Tourist: My lunch is talking to me.
Dude Ranch Waiter: Yes sir, that's why I don't recommend the tongue sandwich.

Q. Which kind of motor oil does Darth Vader use while tooling around the streets of Denver on vacation?
A. Sithetic.

Q. Which white water rafting company in Colorado gets the most repeat vacationers?
A. Echo Canyon.

Colorado Tourism Point to Ponder: If you want to hang a map and add pushpins of places you've been, do you have to visit Four Corners Monument first?

Q. Did the vacationing hikers enjoy climbing around on St. Mary's Glacier near Winter Park, Colorado?
A. Yes, they had an ice day!

Q. Why can't basketball players vacation in Colorado?
A. Because they'd get called for traveling.

Q. How do sasquatch tourists arrive in Colorado?
A. They land at DIA in a jumbo yeti.

Q. What do Colorado locals call poetry by a pigeon out in a marijuana field?
A. High Coo!

Q. What do ghouls send their friends when they vacation in Colorado?
A. Ghost-cards.

Q. Why was the blonde tourist just standing in the middle of the busy Denver intersection at Broadway and Colfax?
A. The Walk sign changed to Don't Walk, so she just stopped.

Memorable Colorado Vacation Highlight: Did you hear about the blonde camper tourist who slept like a log? She woke up in the campfire...

Q. Where do tourist werewolves stay when they vacation in Aspen?
A. The Howliday Inn.

Q. What happened to the tourist frog vacationing in Colorado at Chimney Gulch in the No Parking Zone?
A. He got toad away!

Q. Where do Cowlorado cows go to vacation?
A. Moontana and Cowlifornia.

Q. What do time traveling aliens call their little green vacation in Colorado?
A. Time Off!

Q. Why did the librarian tourist get booted off the flight to DIA?
A. It was overbooked.

Q. Why did the blonde Colorado tourist think her car needed another muffler?
A. Because it was cold outside.

Q. How do Coloradans treat tourists from the Pine Tree State?
A. They always mind their Maine-ers.

Q. What do you call a vacation home on the best trout fishing stream in Colorado?
A. Reel estate.

My suitcase started to cry when I picked it up off the baggage carousel at DIA. I guess I'm carrying emotional baggage.

Q. What are tourists served at the Colorado dude ranch before the main course?
A. Horse d'oeuvres.

Q. How do you spot a happy motorcyclist in Colorado?
A. He's the guy with bugs in his teeth.

Q. What did the Colorado tourist, who had put on some pounds, say to the other mountain hikers?
A. Weight up!

Two blonde tourists were out on opposite sides of the South Platte River near Deckers. The first blonde shouts, "Hey, how do I get to the other side?" The second blonde replies, "You are on the other side! DUH!"

Q. Why do Bigfoots hide in Colorado?
A. Because all the tourists freak them out.

Q. How can you tell you've had too much coffee and weed while vacationing in Colorado?
A. You have the ability to ski uphill!

Q. What did the clerk at the Garden of the Gods souvenir shop do when the tourist bought a bell?
A. He rang it up.

Q. Why did the novice Colorado skier expect the worst after he got to the top of the slope?
A. It's only downhill from there...

Colorado Tourism Point to Ponder: When your week off goes downhill and you decfde to extend it another week, is that a stay-cation a ski-cation?

Q. What things does a werewolf want to do in Denver when you're dead?
A. Stay at the Howliday Inn Tech Center.

Q. How can you tell that a primo Colorado mountain lake has become very popular with tourists and local anglers?
A. Because the parking lot had fishing lines.

Q. What does the EPIC in Epic Ski Pass stand for?
A. Every Prick In Colorado.

Q. Why should you always look out for SPOREs on the ski mountain?
A. Stupid People On Rental Equipment.

Q. How do tourists and CSU students feel about white water rafting on the Poudre River in Colorado?
A. They both get carried away just thinking about it.

Thanks for stopping by and see you again soon!

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