Local news reported a crocodile was found in Denver! But nobody was surprised because the forecast predicted a cold snap!   PainfulPuns.com - Puns, Jokes, Word Play, Groaners, Ouch!

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When a weatherman updates viewers on rapidly moving gray clouds, is that a stratus report?
Colorado Wisdom: If you don't like the weather, just wait five minutes, and don't stand on top of a mountain during a thunder storm!
Q. What bow can't be tied? A. A Rainbow!
Q. What do you call a frozen pickle hanging from the roof? A. An icepickle!
Colorado Wisdom: If you don't like the weather, just wait five minutes, and take cover in the lowest spot during a thunder storm!
Hey Gnirl, I'm no weatherman, but you can expect a few inches tonight!

Q. What does a pirate say during a snow storm? A. Shiver me timbers!
Q. What did the tree say to the wind? A. Leaf me alone!

 


Weather Jokes, Climate Humor, Meteorology Puns
The forecast is hail-acious humor, damp funny puns, and weather jokes we NOAA you'll like.

Weather Puns, Breezy Jokes, Rainy Day Humor
(Because Drizzly Puns and Dry Humor Could Never Be TOO Mainstream for the National Weather Service!)
Warning: Go Outdoors at Your Own Risk! Cold jokes, wet grins, cloudy humor and predictably gusty puns ahead.
| Weather Jokes and Weatherman Humor | 2 | Colorado Weather Jokes | Gardening Jokes |
| Cold Winter Jokes | Winter Come Ons | Science Humor | 2 | Chemistry Jokes | Dr. Gnome Jokes |
| Physics Puns | Math Humor | Scientist Pick-Up Lines | Outer Space Jokes |
Space Bar Jokes |
| Hipster Humor | Road Trip Jokes | Head Trip Jokes |
Travel Jokes | Timely Puns | Toilet Jokes |

Q. What goes up when the rain comes down? A. An mbrella!Q. What did Worf say when small ice asteroids began hitting the hull? A. Capain, we are being hailed!Q. Why was there thunder and lightning in the lab? A. The scientists were brainstorming!

Q. What did one raindrop say to another?
A. Two's company, three's a cloud.

Q. Why was the updraft pulled over by the cops?
A. It was speeding in a high sheer zone.

Q. Which are the hottest days during the summer?
A. Sundays!

Q. What kind of music are lightning bolts most attracted to?
A. Metal.

Q. What do you call it when you dare to venture out among a bunch of pachyderms?
A. You are braving the elephants.

Q. Which weather is even more destructive than raining buckets?
A. Hailing taxis.

Q. Where do hail stones go on a date?
A. To Hell!

Q. Where can a tornado be jailed?
A. In a high pressure cell.

Q. Why was the watermelon so jealous of the pea, the golf ball, and the baseball?
A. Because there's no category for watermelon-sized hail!

Q. What weather stat falls but never hits the ground?
A. The temperature.

Q. Why did the lightning bolt always gasp at the news?
A. It found everything shocking!

Q. Why do tornados move so erratically?
A. Because they're really dizzy!

Q. How did the rainbow know it was lost?
A. It was a clear day.

Q. How else did the rainbow know it was lost?
A. It was already dark out.

Q. What is the first thing thunder said during the sudden lightning storm?
A. Boom-shaka-laka!

Q. Why is wind power so popular? A. Because it has a lot of fans!Q. What happens wien the smog lifts over los Angeles? A. UCLA!Q. Why don't ghosts like rain on Halloween? A. It dampens their spirits!

Q. When does a wind turbine blush?
A. After breaking wind.

Q. What sort of wit must a dust storm have?
A. A dry sense of humor.

Inclement Weather One-Liner of the Day: A tornado walks into a bar and orders a hurricane...

Q. What is the difference between weather and climate?
A. You can't weather a tree, but you can climate.

Q. Why doesn't the weather work right when the Internet is down?
A. 'Cause both are cloud-based.

Q. How can you tell the sky isn't happy on clear days?
A. It's blue!

Q. What do you call a conversation with the sun on a cloudless summer day?
A. Enlightening.

Q. What do you say when the fog finally lifts?
A. You won't be mist.

Q. What does a ghost wear if it’s pouring outside?
A. Rain BOOts.

Q. What is it called when big hairy spiders rain down out of the sky?
A. A tarantula downpour!

Q. Why do mother kangaroos dread rainy weather?
A. Because the kids have to play indoors!

Q. Which type of bruin feels right at home out in the rain?
A. A drizzly bear.

Q. What do you call it when high winds ruin your outdoor event? A. Uninvited gusts!Q. When does it rain money? A. When there's a change in teh weather!Tornado Says: Happy Wind's Day!

You might be exercising outdoors in Colorado if high gusts are bothering you. And, you might be in Boulder if high guests bother you. You might be outside a Denver pot shop, if nothing bothers you.

Q. What is a tornado?
A. Just Mother Nature doing the Twist!

News Flash! A powerful tornado tore through town last night. So far, eight bodies have been recovered. Plot twister: It only damaged the local graveyard.

Q. What kind of music do lightning bolts like best?
A. Rock and Roll.

Q. What do baby clouds want to be when they grow up?
A. Thunderstorms!

Q. How do you predict the weather in Seattle?
A. If you can see Mt. Rainier, it's going to rain. If you can't see Mt. Rainier, it's already raining.

Q. What do you call coins flying through the jet stream?
A. The winds of change.

Q. Why do misers like autumn so much?
A. The winds of change are raining coins of copper gold and silver.

Q. Where might you go if you want to get blown away?
A. The Windy City, Chicago.

Q. Who is a tornado's best friend?
A. A twisted sister.

Q. What did one dust devil brag to another dust devil?
A. I'm not just blowing a lot of hot air!

Q. Why did the weather want privacy?
A. Because it was about to have a modest change.

Q. Can bees fly in the rain?
A. Not without their yellow jackets.

Q. Where do you go in Denver if there's a tornado? A. The field at Mile High. They never get touchdowns there...Gnome in a tornado!Q. Why is England such a wet country? A. Because the queen had reigned there for years and years!

Q. What is a tornado's favorite party game?
A. Twister.

Q. What did one tornado say to another?
A. Let's twist again, like we did last summer.

Q. What is a tornado?
A. Just Mother Nature doing the Twist!

Q. What did the blonde say when asked how she found the weather on her vacation?
A. "I just went outside, and there it was!"

Q. What is a zombie's favorite kind of weather?
A. Brainstorms.

Thor Pick-Up Line: Hey babe, I don't need to summon thunder to light you up!

Q. Why should you avoid tornado chasers?
A. Because they're always passing wind.

Q. What happened to the cow that was drawn up into the tornado?
A. Udder disaster!

Q. How are tornados and women alike?
A. Both moan like hell when they come, and take they house when they go.

Q. What kind of weather do bar flies like best?
A. The Highs.

Q. What did the blonde bank teller put aside for a rainy day?
A. An umbrella.

Q. What does a well-dressed cloud wear beneath it's raincoat?
A. Thunder-wear!

Q. When does money fall out of the sky?
A. When there's a change in the weather!

Q. How could five kids and three dogs stay dry under one little umbrella?
A. Because it was not raining.

Q. What do you call two straight days of rain in Seattle?
A. The Weekend.

Thor Pick-Up Line: Hey babe, did you know lightning is a million times hotter than the sun?

Q. Where did the lightning bolt propose to his girlfriend? A. Cloud 9Q. Do locksmiths hold the key to success? A. No, but they won't be locked out in the cold!Chimp Elf Asks: What do you call a wet animal? A. A Reindeer!

Q. Where's the best place to store rain for a drought?
A. In a cloud bank.

Q. How does a guy lightning bolt feels when he meets a hot lady lighting bolt?
A. Thunderstruck!

Q. What do lightning bolts do when they laugh?
A. They crack up!

Q. What did the poetic lightning bolt rap to the old oak tree?
A. Hang onto your bark, dis ain't no ordinary spark.

Q. What did the hurricane say to the palm tree?
A. Hang onto your leaves. This ain't no ordinary breeze!

Weather Point to Ponder: If you leave your jacket outside with a packet of seeds in the pocket and it starts to rain, would you get a chia coat?

Did you hear about the snow storm that arrived at a fortuitious moment? It was white on time.

Q. How do sheep stay warm during the cold winter?
A. Central bleating.

Q. Would the weather be clear for the balloon's morning flight?
A. It was up in the air.

Q. Which kind of doughnuts does cold winter sleet like best?
A. Glazed.

Q. What is a rap fan in Arizona's favorite kind of weather?
A. A 'Lil Wayne.

Q. How is a weekend just like a rainbow?
A. You can see them from a distance, but when you get close they begin to disappear.

Weather Forecast Point to Ponder: Why is a rainy Friday so much better than a sunny Monday?

Q. How is hurricane season like Christmas?
A. Regular television programs are preempted for specials.

Q. How is hurricane season like Christmas?
A. Days off from work.

Q. What did Mrs. Claus say during the freak rain storm at the North Pole?
A. Wow, come look at the rain, dear.

Q. Which wind is named after Santa Claus's temperate cousin?
A. Santa Ana.

Q. How is hurricane season like Christmas?
A. Candles.

Q. How is hurricane season like Christmas?
A. At some point, you'll have a tree inside your house.

Q. What do you call it when you’re debating a wild stunt during frigid weather?
A. Cold Feat.

| Weatherman Jokes and Weather Humor | 2 | Colorado Weather Jokes | Gardening Jokes |
| Cold Winter Jokes | Winter Come Ons | Science Humor | 2 | Chemistry Jokes | Dr. Gnome Jokes |
| Physics Puns | Math Humor | Scientist Pick-Up Lines | Outer Space Jokes |
Space Bar Jokes |
| Hipster Humor | Road Trip Jokes |
Head Trip Jokes | Travel Jokes | Timely Puns | Toilet Jokes |
| Colorado Jokes | Colorado Tourism Jokes | Skiing Jokes | Mountain Jokes | Mile High Club Jokes |


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| Sci-Fi Jokes | Seasonal Puns | Sports Jokes | Superman Jokes | Tech Gadget Puns | Weed Jokes | Wine Jokes |

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