Q. How do competitor Denver weather forecasters greet each other?
A. With a cold wave!

Q. What do you call it when you’re debating a wild stunt during frigid weather?
A. Cold Feat.

Q. What do you get if you cross a witch and a Halloween blizzard in Denver?
A. A cold spell!

Q. What is the opposite of a cold front?
A. A warm back.

Winter Pick-Up Line: It's so cold outside that I'd like to hiber-mate with you!

Donkey Etiquette Pointer of the Day: Burros hate it when you use the term: Freezing My ASS Off!

Q. If H2O is the fomula for water, what is the formula for ice?
A. H2O cubed.

Colorado Camping Tip: If you get cold in your tent, just go stand in the corner because it's always 90º there.

It was so cold in Colorado yesterday that my shadow froze to the sidewalk.

Cool Winter Pick-Up Line: Do I have a fever, or are you giving me the chills?

Q. Why did the rocker store his guitar up on St. Mary's Glacier in Colorado?
A. He wanted to play really cool music.

Cold Hard Cash Banking Fact: A guy had an account with a bank at the North Pole, but all his assets were frozen.

Did you hear about the Colorado tourist who got cold while paddling up stream? He lit a fire in his boat, only to discover you can't have your kayak and heat it, too.

Q. What happened after the power went off at the ice factory?
A. The business went into liquidation.

Q. Why is Superman afraid of ICE?
A. Because he's an alien and fears being deported!

Q. Why doesn't Batman like Mr. Freeze?
A. Mr. Freeze always gives him the cold shoulder!

It was so cold in Colorado yesterday that even the politicians stopped blowing hot air.

Cold Bartender Pick-Up Line: Hi Babe, ice to meet you!

A guy came home late after his poker game and saw a note on the refrigerator saying, "This isn't working. I'm going to my mother's house." He opened the fridge. The light was on and the beer was cold, so he wasn't sure what she was talking about?

Q. How do polar bears make their beds?
A. With snow blankets and sheets of ice!

Q. What do you get if you cross a refrigerator and a hipster play list?
A. Cool music.

Superman, Batman, The Flash, Aquaman and Wonder Woman walk into a bar and order five Jack Daniels on the rocks. Bartender asked if they'd like coke or a lemon slice with their order. Superman replied, "No thanks, we're the Just Ice League."

Q. What is a frozen banana's favorite song?
A. Yellow by Cold Play.

Captain America Pick-Up Line: Decades on ice left my with a lot of catching up to do, so I'd like to start with you.

Q. How do penguins take their bar drinks?
A. On the rocks.

Cold Winter Pick-Up Line: Hey Girl, do you live in an igloo? 'Cause you're pretty cool.

Q. How do sheep stay warm during the cold winter?
A. Central bleating.

Q. What condition did the gosling suffer from when the Colorado weather turned cold?
A. Goose bumps.

Q. How did the blonde hipster drown?
A. She ice skated before it was cool.

Customer: Could I have my margarita with light ice?
Blonde Bartender: I'm sorry, all of our ice weighs the same.

Q. What does a snowman take when he's not feeling well?
A. A chill pill.

Ice Cold Winter Pick-Up Line: Babe, black ice isn't the only thing I've fallen for.

Q. Why did the blonde Colorado tourist think her car needed another muffler?
A. Because it was cold outside.

Q. How do you make antifreeze?
A. Take away her blanket!

Q. What do you get when you cross an ice cube with a vampire bat?
A. Frostbite.

Q. What does a Colorado Rocky Mountain wear when it gets freezomg cold?
A. An ice cap.

Bar Fly Fact of the Day: The perfect woman is just like vodka ­ transparent, ice cold, and utterly tasteless.

Q. Why did Catwoman decide not to pursue a date with Mr. Freeze?
A. He gave her the cold shoulder.

Q. What does Bruce Wayne enjoy for dinner on a cold winter's night?
A. A bowl of alpha-bat soup.

Q. Why did the snowman always have cold feet?
A. Because he goes around brrr-footed.

Q. Which kind of doughnuts does cold winter sleet like best?
A. Glazed.

Q. What is a snowman's favorite winter beverage?
A. Iced Tea.

Q. Why don't Colorado 14-er mountains get cold during spring, fall, and winter?
A. Because they wear snow caps.

Q. What do snowladies use on their face during the winter?
A. Cold Cream.

Q. What happened when a huge icicle hit the snowman in the head?
A. It knocked him out cold!

Q. Why did the garden jalapeno put on a sweater?
A. Because it was a little chile.

Q. How do Colorado chefs deal with cold weather?
A. They just turn up the SHU (Scoville Heat Units) in tonight's chile verde!

Q. What do cool snowman eat for dinner?
A. Icebergs with chilly sauce.

Q. What happened when a band of superheroes walked into an organic, Non-GMO, gluten-free, vegan, soy-free restaurant?
A. They were served just ice.

Q. What does a rapper like in his drinks?
A. Ice Ice Baby.

Q. Which rapper is always cold?
A. Ice Cube.

Q. What does a Rocky Mountain wear when the weather gets snowy and cold?
A. A snow cap.

Q. How do snowmen pay for carrots and coal?
A. Cold, hard cash!

Cold Weather Pick-Up Line: I didn't know I was a snowman, but you're so hot my heart just melted.

Q. What do snowmen call their offspring?
A. Chill-dren.

Q. What do you get if you cross a snowman with an Arctic Wolf?
A. A Brrr-Grrr.

Q. In Colorado, what is it called when you're stuck in a polar vortex without any beer?
A. Cold sober.

Q. What do beer drinkers and necrophiliacs have in common?
A. Both enjoy cracking open a cold one.

Sign on craft brew pub: We have beers as cold as your ex's heart.

Q. Why is a six-pack of cold beer better than a woman?
A. Beer doesn't ask silly questions ... and beer understands.

Q. How is a cold beer better than a woman?
A. A frigid beer is good!

Beer Troubleshooting: If your feet are wet and cold, the glass is being held at an incorrect angle. Rotate glass so open end points toward ceiling.

Q. How is a can of cold beer better than a woman?
A. You can have a beer in public.

When the bartender asked the patron if he wanted his whiskey without ice, the guy replied, "Sure, that would be neat."

Q. Why did the rock star put his guitar in the refrigerator?
A. He wanted to play really cool music.

Q. How is an ice cold beer better than a woman?
A. Beer never has a headache.

Q. What do you call a freezing frankfurter at a 4th of July cookout?
A. A chili dog!

Q. Why did the mother Colorado pepper put a parka on the baby pepper?
A. 'Cause he was a little chile.

Q. What is today's Colorado Front Range weather forecast?
A. Chili today, hot tamale.

Q. What did the jalapeno say during the early fall snow storm?
A. I'm a little chile.

Q. How can a cannibal tell when his wife is mad at him?
A. He gets a cold shoulder at dinner time.

Q. How is a can of cold beer better than a woman?
A. A beer doesn't get jealous if you grab another beer.

Q. What did the icy winter road say to the SUV?
A. Wanna go for a spin?

Cold Pick-Up Line: It's only early December, but I'm gonna call you Winter anyway because I know you'll be coming soon.

Q. Why did the miser put all his quarters in the freezer?
A. Because he only wanted cold, hard cash.

Q. What can bite your fingers and nip at your toes, but doesn't have teeth?
A. Frost!

Q. What do you get from cool dairy farms in Alaska?
A. Ice cream.

Cold Hard Cash Banking Fact: A guy had an account with a bank at the North Pole, but all his assets were frozen.

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