Q.
Why did the bank teller decide to change careers?
A. Because he lost interest.
Q.
Which bank should you recommend to your deer friend?
A. The one that offers the most bang for the buck.
Sign
at a New Saving and Loan: We Want Your Business. In
Fact, We're Banking On It.
Banker
Pick-Up Line: Hey Girl,
I know how to add extra value to your account.
Q.
Why do banks have drive thru windows?
A. So that cars can meet their real owners.
Bank
Robber: Where is the safe?
Teller:
Bank Robber: WTF. Where is the safe?
Teller:
Penn: He always does this.
Q.
How did the new bank employee make calls?
A. On a teller-phone!
Pick-Up
a Banker Line: Hey big guy, I heard bankers do it for the
money.
Banking
Bummer of the Day: The bank manager doesn't give employees'
business ideas the credit they deserve.
Q.
Who wrote the book, Living in the Poor House?
A. Justin Dyer-Straits.
Q.
Why did the loan shark's son decide to major in journalism?
A. 'Cause he knew a lot about book reports.
Q.
Why did First National fire the investment banker?
A. Because he lacked interest and maturity. |
Q.
Why doesn't Dracula want to become an investment banker?
A. Because he seriously hates stakeholders.
Q.
How are bankers like exorcicsits?
A. They can help you to become dispossessed!
Q.
Why didn't the skeleton rob the bank?
A. He just did not have the guts!
Q.
Why don't old bankers ever die?
A. Because they never lose interest and they can afford
to be cryogenically frozen.
Mad
Money Fact: If you like money, and I like money, we are
agreed!
Q.
What did the blonde bank teller put aside for a rainy day?
A. An umbrella.
A
bank robber pulls out a gun and points it at the teller
saying, "Give me all your money or you are Geography!"
The puzzled teller replies, "Did you mean to say 'or
you're History'?" The bank robber replied,
"Don't change the subject."
Big
Money Moan of the Day: Give a man a gun and he will rob
a bank. Give a man a bank and he will rob everyone.
After
the same bank was robbed multiple times by the same perp,
the FBI agent asked the bank teller, "Did you notice
anything special about the man?" The teller replied,
"Yes, he seemed better dressed each time."
Q.
How many bankers does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Three. One to hold the bulb, and two to try to remember
the combination.
Q.
How can you tell your bank is boring?
A. It starts losing your interest.
Q.
Why was the cleaning guy fired from the bank?
A. He cleaned out the vault.
|
Q.
How are men like bank accounts?
A. One day they're up, one day they're down, but most of
the time they show no interest.
Banker
Pick-Up Line: Hey Girl,
wanna know why they call me "Gross Profit?"
Q.
Why did the blonde get cash out of the bank and then throw
it into the river?
A. 'Cause she wanted to study cash flow. DUH!
Q.
What is the name of the Asian banker with no friends?
A. Loan Lee.
Q.
Why can't the biggest bank in town keep a secret?
A. Because it has so many tellers.
Q.
Why did the bank robber shoot the man with no arms?
A. Because he told the man to put his hands up… OUCH!
Blonde
Banking Tip of the Day: When you're switching to a new bank,
bring money with you and make sure you take that into account.
Money
Wise Point to Ponder: If bankers can count, why do they
have eight windows and only two tellers?
Q.
Where's the best place to store rain for a drought?
A. In a cloud bank.
Anti
Pick-Up a Banker Line:
Bankers charge a fee each time they do it.
Q.
Where does Santa Claus keep his money?
A. At the Snow Bank.
Q.
How did the bank teller quit?
A. He just withdrew from his job. |