Some bankers are generous to a vault!   PainfulPuns.com - Puns, Jokes, Word Play, Groaners, Ouch!

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Q. What do stockbrokers say to each other when they want the other guy to shut up? A. Just put a stock in it!
Hospitals report hearts of bankers are in high demand by transplant patients because they've never been used!
Black Cat Says: Old bankers never die. They just lose interest!
If time is money, are ATMs time machines?

Fish Says: Whenever I go near my bank, I get withdrawal symptoms!
Q. Why shouldn't you lend an anthropologist money? A. They consider a million years no time at all!
Q. Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun? A. They're always a little short!

 


Interesting Money Jokes, Bank Puns, Cash Humor
Peak your interest with bank teller puns, banker jokes, bank manager laughs and safe humor.

Banker Jokes, Banking Humor, Bank Puns
(Because Rich Banking Jokes Could Never Be TOO Mainstream While You're Waiting for Your Loan Approval!)
Warning: Invest with Caution! Priceless banking jokes, investment humor, and loan-ly banker puns ahead.
| Banker Jokes, Banking Puns, and Teller Laughs | Financial Jokes | Banker Pick-Up Lines |
| Coin Jokes, Numismatic Puns, Money Funny! | Penny Jokes and Cents-Less Puns | 2 |
| Money Jokes, Coiny Puns, Capital Laughs and Interesting Humor | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 |

Reaching higher in business is a good thing unless you're a bank teller during a hold up!A bank manager without anyone around may find himself a loan!Big Ape Asks: What is the problem wiith banker jokes? A. Bankers don't think they're funny, and normal people don't think they're jokes!

Q. What did the bank owner do after the last masked bandit robbery?
A. He brought in bulls to beef up security.

Q. Why did the miserly banker always count his money with his toes?
A. Because he didn't want the money to slip through his fingers.

Q. What should you do if you meet a woman who doesn't like banker jokes?
A. If you take her on a date, don't not teller any.

Banker Pick-Up Line: Are you fiscally irresponsible? 'Cause I'm feeling inflationary pressure right now.

Q. When is it bad business to be reaching higher?
A. When you're a bank teller in a hold-up!

Q. What did the comedian say when he walked into a bank?
A. This is a stand-up.

Q. What recurring nightmare does a single bank manager have about web dating?
A. They may find themself a-loan.

Q. How will a bank teller help you if you want to draw money?
A. He'll hand you a pen.

Banker's Pick-Up Poetry: Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm debt-free, so I can afford you!

Q. What happened after the dummy robbed a bank?
A. Police are questioning a ventriloquist who may have had a hand in it.

Interesting Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, bankers change it up and do it with varying rates of interest.

Q. Why didn't the blonde go into the bank that offered 24 Hour Banking?
A. Because she didn't have that much time. DUH!

Big Banking Tip: Never be funny when speaking to your loan officer because bankers have no cents of humor.

Q. What do you call a bank account specifically for marijuana purchases?
A. Joint account.

Q. Why do recovering addicts make great bankers?
A. Because they have a lot of experience with withdrawals.

Money Groan of the Moment: A banker told a joke, but it just didn't make any cents.

Q. What did the helpful blonde bank teller ask the client?
A. Do you need to draw money? I could offer you a pencil.

Q. How can you tell you're addicted to money?
A. Whenever you go near your bank, you get withdrawal symptoms.

Gorilla Says: Old bankers never die. They just pass the buck!Q. How did the banker die? A. He cashed out!Gorilla asks: Did you know that bankers might have their own interest at heart when discussing alone with you!

Insider Banking Lingo: A personal financial dilemma is also known as a bill pickle.

Q. Why did the blonde go to the bank wanting to swap 100 grapes for 50 raisins?
A. Because she wasn't sure about the currant exchange rate.

Q. What is it called when a banker buys weed?
A. A dank transaction.

Money Loss Groan of the Day: A naked woman robbed a bank during a power outage. So, nobody at the bank could remember her face.

Lofty Banking Laugh of the Day: The local bank in Aspen introduced a new cash machine built in to a tree. If it's successful, they intend to expand to other branches.

Did you hear about the bankrupt banker? Poor guy was generous to a vault.

Old bankers never die. They just lose interest...

Q. How did the tight rope walking banker die?
A. He lost his balance.

Q. What do you call the new blonde teller at the bank?
A. The Nutella!

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain. – Mark Twain.

Big Money Factoid: Two banks with different rates do have a conflict of interest.

Banker Pick-Up Line: Babe, I'm not actually that tall, I'm just sitting on my wallet.

A dyslexic robber ran into a bank and shouted, "Air in the hands, mother stickers! This is a f*ck up!"

Q. Why should you borrow money from a pessimist?
A. He won't be expecting it back.

Not Funny Finance Fact: Being poor is no fund at all!

Q. What do you call a gossipy bank employee?
A. A storyteller.

Smart Money Tip of the Day: Never play poker with a banker because they always have the best suits.

Q. Why did the banker take the blonde teller into the vault? A. For Safe Sex!Fish Asks: Did you hear about the banking tycoom who fell off his yacht? He was saved because he could float a loan!Q. What do you call a gossipy bank empoyee? A. A story teller!

Q. Why do bankers like to watch porno movies backward?
A. They like the part where the hooker gives the money back!

Q. Why are investment bankers such great lovers?
A. They know the penalty for early withdrawl!

Q. Why is sex the opposite of banking?
A. Once you make a deposit, there's no more interest.

Q. Why do hospitals report that the hearts of bankers are in strong demand by transplant patients?
A. Because they've never been used.

Q. What do you get if you cross a predatory banker and a big fish?
A. A loan shark.

Q. Why did the dishonest bee banker go to prison?
A. Embuzzlement!

Q. What happened to the California bank during the big earthquake?
A. It went into default.

Banking Pick-Up Line: Babe, you are finer than the print on my credit card agreement.

Q. Why are Irish bankers always so successful?
A. Because their capital's always Dublin.

Q. What's the best pattern for a banker's neck tie?
A. Checks.

Banker Pick-Up Line: Hey there Rich, can I change your name to Cash? 'Cause I'm looking to put my money where my mouth is.

Banking Point to Ponder: Are some bankers generous to a vault?

Q. How are bankers like Buddhists?
A. They can help you to become dispossessed.

Banker Pick-Up Line: Is that a calculator in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

The bank's clients went belly up due to phishing operations!Q. Why did the offensive lineman with a concussion go to the bank? A. To get his quarterback!Q. Why did Yoda visit Barclays? A. He was after a bank clone!

Q. What do you call a banker who is also a skilled fisherman?
A. A loan-ly master-baiter.

Q. Why did the banker jump off the pier?
A. He wanted to float a loan.

Banking Point to Ponder: If money doesn't grow on trees, why do banks need branches?

Q. Why don't sharks attack bankers?
A. Professional courtesy.

Banking Pick-Up Line: Hey Girl, can you help me balance my sheets?

Q. Why did the banker's girlfriend break up with him?
A. 'Cause he lost interest.

Q. Why did the banker give up riding his bicycle?
A. Because he lost his balance.

Banker Pick-Up Line: Hey Baby, I go long on naked options.

Q. Why did the robber take a bath before he held up the bank?
A. 'Cause he e wanted to make a clean getaway!

Q. How did the rich man get caught sleeping with the banker's wife?
A. He was making more deposits than withdrawals.

Q. Why are banker so antisocial?
A. Because they're a bunch of loaners.

Q. What should you give the teller at a virtual bank?
A. A reality check.

Banking Groan of the Day: Did you hear about the deaf banker who got robbed? Neither did he. OUCH!

Cold Hard Cash Banking Fact: A guy had an account with a bank at the North Pole, but all his assets were frozen.

Q. What is a banker's favorite place to go on vacation in Europe?
A. The Czech Republic.

Q. How can you tell your bank loves you?
A. They tell you that your credit card balance is outstanding.

A bank manager who was also a high jumper spent most of his time in the vault!Q. What did a vampire do at teh blood bank? A. He asked to make a withdrawal!Fish Says: Whenever I go near my bank, I get withdrawal symptoms!

Q. Why did the bank teller decide to change careers?
A. Because he lost interest.

Q. Which bank should you recommend to your deer friend?
A. The one that offers the most bang for the buck.

Sign at a New Saving and Loan: We Want Your Business. In Fact, We're Banking On It.

Banker Pick-Up Line: Hey Girl, I know how to add extra value to your account.

Q. Why do banks have drive thru windows?
A. So that cars can meet their real owners.

Bank Robber: Where is the safe?
Teller:
Bank Robber: WTF. Where is the safe?
Teller:
Penn: He always does this.

Q. How did the new bank employee make calls?
A. On a teller-phone!

Pick-Up a Banker Line: Hey big guy, I heard bankers do it for the money.

Banking Bummer of the Day: The bank manager doesn't give employees' business ideas the credit they deserve.

Q. Who wrote the book, Living in the Poor House?
A. Justin Dyer-Straits.

Anti Pick-Up a Banker Line: Bankers charge a fee each time they do it.

Q. Why doesn't Dracula want to become an investment banker?
A. Because he seriously hates stakeholders.

Q. How are bankers like exorcicsits?
A. They can help you to become dispossessed!

Q. Why didn't the skeleton rob the bank?
A. He just did not have the guts!

Q. Why don't old bankers ever die?
A. Because they never lose interest and they can afford to be cryogenically frozen.

Mad Money Fact: If you like money, and I like money, we are agreed!

Q. What did the blonde bank teller put aside for a rainy day?
A. An umbrella.

A bank robber pulls out a gun and points it at the teller saying, "Give me all your money or you are Geography!" The puzzled teller replies, "Did you mean to say 'or you're History'?" The bank robber replied, "Don't change the subject."

Big Money Moan of the Day: Give a man a gun and he will rob a bank. Give a man a bank and he will rob everyone.

After the same bank was robbed multiple times by the same perp, the FBI agent asked the bank teller, "Did you notice anything special about the man?" The teller replied, "Yes, he seemed better dressed each time."

Q. How can you tell your bank is boring?
A. It starts losing your interest.

Q. How are men like bank accounts?
A. One day they're up, one day they're down, but most of the time they show no interest.

Banker Pick-Up Line: Hey Girl, wanna know why they call me "Gross Profit?"

Q. Why did the blonde get cash out of the bank and then throw it into the river?
A. 'Cause she wanted to study cash flow. DUH!

Q. What is the name of the Asian banker with no friends?
A. Loan Lee.

Q. Why can't the biggest bank in town keep a secret?
A. Because it has so many tellers.

Q. Why did the bank robber shoot the man with no arms?
A. Because he told the man to put his hands up… OUCH!

Blonde Banking Tip of the Day: When you're switching to a new bank, bring money with you and make sure you take that into account.

Money Wise Point to Ponder: If bankers can count, why do they have eight windows and only two tellers?

Q. Where's the best place to store rain for a drought?
A. In a cloud bank.

Q. Where does Santa Claus keep his money?
A. At the Snow Bank.

| Banker Jokes, Banking Puns, and Teller Laughs | Financial Jokes | Banker Pick-Up Lines |
| Coin Jokes, Numismatic Puns, Money Funny! | Penny Jokes and Cents-Less Puns | 2 |
| Money Jokes, Coiny Puns, Capital Laughs and Interesting Humor | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 |
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