Ape Asks: Why did the banker count his money with his toes? A. So it wouldn't run through his fingers!   PainfulPuns.com - Puns, Jokes, Word Play, Groaners, Ouch!

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A bank manager who was also a high jumper spent most of his time in the vault!
Q. Why didn't the quarter roll down the hill with the nickel? A. because the quarter had more cents!
Q. How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb? A. Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and one to try to sell it before it crashes!
The bank's clients went belly up due to phishing operations!


Money Humor, Banking Jokes, Poor Puns
Compound interesting money puns, humor assets, and banker jokes with loan-ly laughs.

Rich Money Jokes, Cash Puns, Humor Assets
(Because Rich Banker Humor and Pricey Money Jokes Could Never Be TOO Mainstream When You're Broke!)
Warning: Invest at Your Own Risk! Token jokes, made of money humor, rich laughs and debt-icated puns ahead.
| Money Jokes, Coiny Puns, Capital Laughs and Interesting Humor | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 |
| Coin Jokes, Numismatic Puns | Penny Jokes, Cents-Less Puns | 2 | Accountant Jokes |
| Banker Jokes, Banking Puns, and Teller Laughs | Financial Jokes | Banker Pick-Up Lines |

Q. What do you get if you cut money into thin, narrow strips? A. Sliver Dollars!Big Ape Asks: Why do bankers make great lovers? A. They know  the penalty for early withdrawal!Whoever said "money can't buy happiness" didn't know where to shop!

Q. What is the problem with banker jokes?
A. Bankers don't think they're funny, and normal people don't think they're jokes!

Q. Why did the idiot go broke?
A. Because he had no cents.

Q. Which type of underwear do tycoons wear?
A. Cash Drawers.

Banker's Pick-Up Poetry: Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm debt-free, so I can afford you!

Q. What is it called when a financier's pilot tilts his private plane to curve around?
A. High-level banking.

Q. What is the major cause of business failure?
A. Corporate money flaw.

Banker Factoid: In business, reaching higher is good – unless it's a bank teller during a stickup!

Money Management Pick-Up Line: Babe, when I saw you, my jaw dropped like the value of a new car.

Money Point to Ponder: Cash can't buy you happiness, but it sure can bring you a more pleasant form of misery.

They say change is inevitable. Too bad that @#$%$! vending machine doesn't know that!

Q. What should you give the teller at a virtual bank?
A. A reality check.

Banking Pick-Up Line: Hey Girl, would you be receptive to my takeover bid?

Q. Why did a woman donate a pair of perfumes to the charity drive? A. She wanted to put in her two scents!Q. Which coin doubles in value when half is deducted? A. A Half Dollar!Q. What do you call an accountant at a coffee company? A. A bean counter!

Why Money is Magic: Money isn't everythig, but it will keep you in touch with your children.

Q. What did the coin say to the token?
A. You make no cents.

Q. What happened after the guy who invented Bitcoin was given a title by the queen?
A. He incapacitated Superman because now he is a crypto knight.

Q. What happens if a coin lands on its side?
A. You can't make heads or tails of it.

Numismatic Fact of the Day: Most uncirculated coins are like women. Very fine.

Q. What does a gallant numismatist call a coin that's in peril?
A. A dime-sel in distress!

Q. When was the Buffalo Nickel finally replaced?
A. Only after the mint approved the exact change.

Q. What is the name of 50 Cent's half-brother?
A. 25 Cent.

Q. What happens when accountants are left a loan?
A. They become very debticated.

Q. Who was the most successful female investor?
A. Pharaoh's daughter, because she went to the Nile bank and floated a prophet. 

Q. What is a long term investment?
A. A short term investment that failed.

Q. How do thunderclouds invest their money?
A. In a combination of liquid and frozen assets.

Dentists. Helping you put your money where your mouth is!Q. Why don't cows have any money? A. Because farmers milk them dry!Q. What do you call solid god bananas? A. A bunch of money!

Q. What do spoiled children think MOM stands for?
A. Made Of Money.

Q. How do you describe the shady pharmaceutical executive's exorbitant profits?
A. Ill-gotten gains.

Big Money Factoid: Two banks with different rates do have a conflict of interest.

Q. What do consumers call new taxes being put on some imports and exports?
A. Tariffying!

Q. Why do misers like autumn so much?
A. The winds of change are raining coins of copper gold and silver.

Q. Which breed of dog has the most coins?
A. A bloodhounds, because they are always picking up cents.

Q. Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun?
A. Because they're always a wee bit short.

A guy test drove a late model used car, and it stopped on a dime. Unfortunately, the dime was in Grandpa's pocket. OUCH!

Q. Which kind of cookies can make you rich?
A. Fortune cookies!

Q. Why did the frugal chef go to so many stores to find the best prices for herbs?
A. He thought it was thyme well spent.

Q. Why didn't the frugal element want to get bonded to its partner?
A. Because it would have to pay compound interest.

Q. What is alimony?
A. The screwing you get for the screwing you got!

Gorilla Says: Old bankers never die. They just pass the buck!Q. Where do seagulls invest their money? A. In the stork market!Did you hear about the owner of a cleaning service? She maid a tidy profit!

Money Management Wisdom from Your Grandpa: Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

Q. How did the rich man get caught sleeping with the banker's wife?
A. He was making more deposits than withdrawals.

Big Biz Blunders: When the CEO dropped his brownie on the calculator, was he trying to fudge the numbers?

Accountant Pick-Up Line: Hey Baby, looking in your books, I see you have room for a date-a entry.

Investment Point to Ponder: If you have to pay to go to the river, maybe we'd better stop at the bank?

Q. How long did the rare antiques auction go on?
A. Until the bidder end.

Q. Why did the blonde think credit cards were really dangerous?
A. 'Cause every time she tried to use one, somebody started chasing her with scissors!

Banking Pick-Up Line: If I had a dollar for every time I've thought of you, I'd be in a higher tax bracket.

Q. Why are so many hermits penniless?
A. Because they're loaners.

Q. How are hula hoop sales reported?
A. In round numbers.

More Bad Investment News: The bonsai bank has cut back many of its branches.

Q. Why did the banker's girlfriend break up with him?
A. 'Cause he lost interest.

CPA Pick-Up Line: What are you doing on Saturday night? 'Cause I'm accounting to take you out.

| Money Jokes, Coiny Puns, Capital Laughs and Interesting Humor | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 |
| Coin Jokes, Numismatic Puns | Penny Jokes, Cents-Less Puns | 2 | Accountant Jokes |
| Banker Jokes, Banking Puns, and Teller Laughs | Financial Jokes | Banker Pick-Up Lines |

| On the Job Jokes | Police Puns | Criminal Jokes | Superhero Jokes | Painful Groaner Jokes |

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