you hear about the carrot detective? It got to the root
of every case.
Why wasn't the guy angry after burglars stole all his booze?
A. Because they lifted his spirits.
What happened after a chef was murdered by being boiled
to death in an industrial pasta cooker?
A. Police are still trying to al dente-fy a suspect.
What does a strangler serial killer eat for dessert?
A. Garrote Cake.
Legal Joke Ever: People who love sausage and respect the
law should never watch either being made.
Which kind of robbery is not dangerous?
A. A safe robbery!
What is the difference between a thief and a church bell?
A. One steals from the people, and the other peals from
What did the priest say when he was pulled over for DWI?
A. Good Lord, he's done it again! I only drank water!
publicity-seeking criminal said he swallowed a large amount
of counterfeit coins to avoid being caught with them. It
turned out, he was really full of non-cents.
What do cops call a stolen object when it’s not where
it’s supposed to be?
A. Found missing.
What happens if you start an illegal fire using flint?
A. You get a sparking ticket!
What was the arsonist's alibi?
A. A flame excuse.
Do old arsonists ever die?
A. No, but they do lose their spark.
Which criminal wrote the book, Life In Prison Is a Sentence,
while learning to read?
A. Kyle Ian Slaughter.
Who is the biggest gangster in the sea?
A. Al Caprawn.
Why did the dishonest bee banker go to prison?