Chef Pun: Got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough. - Edible Puns, Funny Food, Chef Humor, Java Jokes!

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Q. Why did the cookie go to the hospital? A. Because it felt crummy!
Crusty, ill-tempered baker was a scone's throw from becoming toast.
Q. Why does a chef give his lady pastry on Valentine's Day? A. He cannoli love her!
One day, you're the best thing since sliced bread. The next, you're toast!


Baker Humor, Bread Puns, Bakery Jokes
Sample bready funny jokes, yeasty puns, toasty humor, rye grins and a loaf of laughter.

Baker Jokes, Bakery Humor, Half-Baked Puns
(Because Jokes That Rise to the Occasion Could Never Be Mainstream Enough for Half-Baked Humor Lovers!)
Warning: Proceed at Your Own Risk! You knead to know glutenous humor and rye puns may cause belly laughs!
| Baker Jokes, Bakery Puns | 2 | Bread Puns | Dessert | 2 | Cookie and Candy Jokes | Pie Puns |
| Nuts | Sweetie Valentine's Day Jokes | Sweet Birthday Party Puns | Halloween Treats | Snacks |
| Coffee Puns, Java Jokes | 2 | Beverage Humor | Soda Funny Puns | Beer Jokes | Wine Humor |
| Fruity Humor | Apple Puns | Banana Jokes | Lemon LOLs | Orange Puns | Strawberry Jokes |

Top Bakers Trade Bread Recipes on a Knead To Know Basis.A good baker always rises to the occasion. It's the yeast he can do!Q. Why did the pastry chef hire a pitcher? A. Because he knew how to handle the batter!

Q. What does a bakery employee have to do when cutting bread ahead of time?
A. He needs to use pre-slice measurements.

Q. Why did the baker quit his job at the cookie factory?
A. Because it was a really crumby place to work.

Q. What do bakers call very soft loaves of bread?
A. Tender ryes.

Q. Which new dating website caters to chefs and bakers over 50?
A. Flour Time.

Q. Which famous baker was compelled to precisely time every single recipe she prepared?
A. Betty Clocker.

Q. Which kind of artisan bread does a bard baker create?
A. Poet-rye.

Q. Why did the head baker reprimand his apprentice?
A. He kept pinching the salt. OUCH!

Q. What did the baliff say when the judge entered the courtroom for the bread baker's trial?
A. All rise.

Q. What is a baker's favorite musical instrument?
A. Drums, because they already have the breadsticks.

Q. What was the ambitious woman's plan to start a new bakery?
A. She kneaded to raise the dough.

Q. Which classic game do bakers play in a circle?
A. Marble Bread.

Q. How did the baker know somebody spiked his chocolate pie?
A. The proof was in the pudding.

Ape Chef Asks: Why should you never insult an Italian baker? Because he'll beat the Focaccia!How do you impress a baker when you're taking his daughter on a date? A. Briing her flours!My friend's bakery burned down. Now his business is toast.

Q. Why was the baker so grumpy?
A. He woke up on the wrong side of the bread!

Bakery Point to Ponder: Do cannibals eat gingerbread men for dessert?

Q. What did the brown bread say to the slice of ham?
A. Rye Me?

Q. Why did the baker decide to quit his job at the bakery?
A. He just wasn't making enough dough.

Q. Which trait does a comedian baker knead to tell funny bread jokes?
A. A rye sense of humor.

Q. Why does everybody need bread and water?
A. Because loaf makes the world go round!

Q. Why did bread break up with margarine?
A. For a butter lover.

Q. What happened to the thief who was caught stealing a vanilla cream pie from the bakery?
A. He ended up in police custardy.

Q. What was the warning at the bakery counter when all the loaves were moldy?
A. Bread Alert!

Q. Why doesn't bread like hot weather?
A. Because it's too toasty!

Q. What does bread do after it's all done baking?
A. It just loafs around.

Q. Where can a single parent find an online date for the PTA bake sale?
A. Batch dot com.

Zombie Humor: I tried working in a bakery, but I wasn't bread for it.Q. How many pastry chefs does it take to make pie? A. 3.14, but it only takes one cow!Gorilla Chef Asks: Why did the poor man sell yeast? A. To raise some dough!

Q. Why was the baker so scared?
A. He found himself in a loaf or death situation.

Bakery Point to Ponder: Do cannibals eat gingerbread men for dessert?

Q. Why was a monster creeping around outside of the bakery?
A. He was looking for Ghoul Scout cookies.

Q. Why is dough a synonym for the word, money?
A. Because everyone kneads it.

Q. What is a doughnut?
A. A bakery owner who is absolutely crazy about money.

Q. What is the baker's favorite charity fundraiser?
A. Dollars to Donuts.

Q. Which kind of bakery always has 24-hour police protection?
A. Donut shops.

Dunkin' Funny Pick-Up Line: Hey babe, you are just like my donut. You're half sweet and half nuts.

Q. What does the Hollywood bakery call bread that only appears for a short time?
A. Cameo Rolls.

Q. When does bread rise?
A. When you yeast expect it to.

Q. Which tale do old loaves of bread tell the young dough balls?
A. Moldylocks and the Three Bears.

Q. Which American folksong is actually about a pastry chef from New England?
A. Yankee Strudel.

Et Chef Asks: What do you call it when you're served leftover rolls? A. Recycle buns!Hey Gnirl, is your daddy a baker? 'Cause you've got a nice set of buns!Q. What did the head chef say when the rookie burned the dessert? A. Is that a crime brulee?

Q. What does the up-and-coming baker call his new bread with a wine-like aroma?
A. Nose Scones.

Q. Why are bread jokes always so funny?
A. They never get mold.

Toasted Thought of the Day: Working in a bakery for decades left the baker with a loathe of bread.

Q. What did the baker get when he crossed the Pillsbury Doughboy with Barbie?
A. A doll with a yeast infection.

Q. What did the Keebler Elves get when they crossed Raggedy Ann and the Pillsbury Doughboy?
A. A tempermental redhead with a yeast infection.

At least the baker gnome is cooking up some hot cross buns.

Q. What did the holiday baker put on the gingerbread man's bed?
A. A cookie sheet.

Q. How can you tell when a blonde baker has been making chocolate chip cookies?
A. M&M shells are all over the floor!

Q. What does a baker call an academically accomplished slice of bread?
A. An honor roll.

Q. Why was the baker glad he was fired from his job at Sara Lee?
A. 'Cause that job was no cakewalk, and he couldn't make enough dough.

Q. What do bakers give ladies on special occasions?
A. Flours.

Q. How does the Krispy Creme sales rep refer to his agenda?
A. Doughnut Call List.

Q. What did the loaf of bread say to the bag of flour?
A. Hey, didn't we meet yeasterday?

Q. What does an aspiring young witch baker use to make cookies?
A. An Easy Bake Coven.

Can a man who's ambidextrous eat sugary bakery with both hands?

Q. What happened when the baker crossed an apple with a Christmas tree?
A. He got enough pineapple pies for a crowd.

Q. What did the pumpkin say to the pie baker?
A. Use pecans instead!

| Baker Jokes | 2 | Dessert Puns | 2 | Pie | Bread | Beverage | Coffee | 2 | Soda | Beer | Wine |
| Cookie Candy Puns | Ice Cream | Milk | Butter | Cheese Jokes | Cheese Gnomes | Egg Jokes |
| Fruit Humor | 2 | 3 | Apple Jokes | Banana Funs | 2 | 3 | Lemon | Orange Puns | Strawberry |
| Nut Jokes | Gourmet Grins | Dinner Jokes | Lunch LOLs | Kitchen Gadget Jokes | Old Chef LOLs |
| Chef Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Chef Tunes | Gnome Chef Jokes | Chef Come-Ons | Foodie Humor |
| Restaurant Jokes | 2 | 3 | Waiter | Italian Food | 2 | 3 | Pizza Jokes | Pasta | Take Out Food |
| Butcher Jokes | Steak Jokes | Beef Jokes | 2 | Pork Jokes | Poultry Puns | BBQ Grill Jokes |
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| Carrot Jokes | Corn | Peppers | Pickle Puns | 2 | 3 | Potato Puns | Salad | Tomato | Veggies |
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| Diet Puns | Gnome Diet | Vegetarian, Vegan Puns | Fitness Dieting Jokes | 2 | Grocery Store |

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