Q. What do you call a cow who gives no milk? A. A Bull   PainfulPuns.com - Puns, Jokes, Word Play, Groaners, Ouch!

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Q. Why does a milking stool only have three legs? A. Because the cow has the udder!
Why did the cow go to outer space? To visit the Milky Way!

Cow Pun - Pasteurize: Too Far Too See


Chocolate Milk Jokes, Leche Puns, Milky Humor
Suck up udderly funny milk puns, hot chocolate humor, and creamy jokes that are 4% funny.

Spoiled Milk Puns, Cream Jokes, Latte Laughs
(Because Skim Milk Jokes and Scummy Milk Puns Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream When Cap'n Crunch Is Ashore!)
Warning: Suckle Cautiously! Milky white jokes, lactose tolerant laughs, plus half and half funny puns ahead.
| Milk Jokes | Ice Cream | Cookie Candy Puns | Butter | Cheese | Cheese Gnomes | Egg Jokes |
| Baker Jokes | 2 | Bread | Dessert Puns | 2 | Pie | Beverage | Coffee | 2 | Soda | Beer | Wine |
| Fruit Humor | 2 | 3 | Apple Jokes | Banana Funs | 2 | 3 | Lemon | Orange Puns | Strawberry |

Q. What do you get from a pampered cow? A. Spoiled MilkGorilla Chef Asks: Girl, I know milk does a body good, but how much have you been drinking?Cow Chef Says: Spoiler Alert! The milk has been in the fridge for three weeks!

Q. Why did the dairy farmer feed his cows money?
A. Because he wanted rich milk.

Q. What do you get from a forgetful cow?
A. Milk of Amnesia!

Bovine Point to Ponder: If a cow laughs really hard at Painful Puns, could milk come out her nose?

I don't buy fat-free milk because I don't want to contribute to cows having body image issues.

Q. Why did the blonde farmer get a brown cow?
A. She wanted chocolate milk.

Q. What does the Invisible Man drink with his meals?
A. Evaporated milk.

Q. What do you get if you put a cow on a trampoline?
A. A milk shake.

Q. What do you get if you cross an octopus and a cow?
A. An animal that can milk itself.

Q. What is the best way to keep milk fresh?
A. Leave it in the cow.

Q. How do you make goat cheese?
A. Ewe's milk!

Q. Why is that chef so mean?
A. He beats the eggs, and whips the cream!

Q. How do you make a milk shake?
A. Give it a good scare!

Q. What is a zombie's favorite cold snack?
A. A handshake.

Q. What do you call a cow who gives no milk? A. A Milk DudCow Pun: A man assaulted me with milk, cream, and butter. How Dairy!Q. What do you call a cow who gives no milk? A. An Udder Failure

Q. If milk comes from a cow, where does chocolate milk come from?
A. A cacao.

Q. What do you call a warm milky drink that was stolen?
A. Hot Chocolate!

Q. Why did the dairy farmer only raise brown cows?
A. He loved chocolate milk!

Q. What is a frog's favorite hot drink?
A. Hot Croak-o!

Q. What do you call a vegan guy who likes to pleasure himself?
A. A non-dairy creamer.

Q. What do you call a militant vegan?
A. Lactose intolerant.

Q. Where do milkshakes come from?
A. Nervous cows.

Dairy Groan of the Day: Did you hear abou the guy who got sick after drinking rich milk with cream? At first, his stomach was churning, but now he's feeling butter.

Q. What do you get if you cross a rabbit and a cow?
A. Hare in your milk.

Q. What do you churn to make forgetful butter?
A. Milk of Amnesia!

Q. What do you get if you cross a cow and a duck?
A. Milk and Quackers.

Q. Which kind of camel throws an absolute hissy fit when you try to milk her?
A. A drama dairy.

Q. Where do thirsty cow astronauts stop to get a drink? A. The Milky Way!Q. What do you call a cow who gives no milk? A. A Bum SteerQ. Why don't cows have any money? A. Because farmers milk them dry!

Q. Where do Russians get their milk?
A. From Mos-cows!

It's only natural to believe that the cow jumped over the mooon on her way to the Milky Way!

Q. What do you call the best milk in the whole world?
A. Legend Dairy.

Q. How do you describe the taste of human breast milk?
A. Umami.

Q. How easy is it to milk a cow?
A. It's a piece of steak?

The new neighbor walked up to the dairy farmer with a jug of milk saying, "I just milked your cow." The astounded farmer replied, "Um, that's a bull!"

Thirsty Point to Ponder: Isn't ironic that they don't serve milk at the tittie bar?

Q. How do dairy farm employees refer to each other?
A. As cow-workers.

Q. What did the testy cow say to the farmer?
A. You better milk me soon, or I'm gonna cream you!

Q. Why did a blonde send her cow to dark side of the moon?
A. She wanted dark chocolate milk.

Q. What do you call really bad jokes about milk?
A. Udder bullshit.

Q. What do you get from a miniature cow?
A. Condensed milk.

Q. How hard is it to milk a cow? A. It's easy as cow pie!Hulk Humor: I can't drink milk. I lactose genes needed to digest it.Q. Is t easy to ilk a cow? A. It's a piece of steak!

Q. Why don't vampires bother dairy cattle?
A. Because they just cownt.

Q. How does your milk man read the newspaper?
A. He skims it.

Q. Why couldn't the Wisconsin cow leave the dairy farm?
A. Because she was pasteurized.

Q. What do you get when a farmer feeds cows money?
A. Farm rich milk.

Q. Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?
A. Because they lactose!

Q. What happens when a cow stops shaving?
A. She grows a moostache.

Q. Why did skim milk agree to marry 2% milk?
A. Because her offspring would be in the 1%.

Grocery Store Checkout Clerk: Sir, would you like your milk in a bag?
Customer: No, please just leave it in the gallon jug.

Q. What do you get from dairy farms in Alaska?
A. Ice cream.

Q. What is the most jittery Beatles' song?
A. Latte Be.

Q. Why did the dairy farmer take his milk to church?
A. Because it needed to be pastor-ized.

Q. What is the difference between milk and cheese?
A. Cheese didn't get lost along the whey.

Cow Joke: Old milk maids never die, they just lose their whey.Mooving Banana Joke: How are cereal bananas like cows? A. Both get milked every morning!Cow Chef Asks: Why did yogurt go to the art exhibit? A. Because it was cultured!

Q. Why does a milking stool only have three legs?
A. Because the cow has the udder.

Q. What happens if a cow drinks her own milk?
A. It goes in one end and out the udder.

Q. Which kind of cocoa flavored drinks do Arab leaders like best?
A. Chocolate milk sheiks.

Q. How can you get dragon's milk?
A. Find a cow with no back legs.

Q. What has one horn and gives milk?
A. A milk truck.

Q. Which day of the week do people only have a limited amount of fluids to drink?
A. Thirst-Day.

Q. Which drink is specially formulated to help golfers make close, easy shots on the green?
A. Putter milk.

Q. What does a cow order at Starbucks?
A. A half-calf-double-latte.

Q. Why don't cows like curdled milk jokes?
A. Because the're so cheesy.

Q. Which kind of bees make milk?
A. Boo-bees.

Q. What do you call a cow that gets everything she wants?
A. Spoiled milk.

| Milk Jokes | Ice Cream | Cookie Candy Puns | Butter | Cheese | Cheese Gnomes | Egg Jokes |
| Baker Jokes | 2 | Bread | Dessert Puns | 2 | Pie | Beverage | Coffee | 2 | Soda | Beer | Wine |
| Fruit Humor | 2 | 3 | Apple Jokes | Banana Funs | 2 | 3 | Lemon | Orange Puns | Strawberry |
| Chef Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Chef Tunes | Gnome Chef Jokes | Chef Come-Ons | Foodie Humor |
| Restaurant Jokes | 2 | 3 | Waiter | Italian Food | 2 | 3 | Pizza Jokes | Pasta | Take Out Food |
| Gourmet Grins | Dinner Jokes | Lunch LOLs | Kitchen Gadget Jokes | Nut Jokes | Old Chef LOLs |
| Butcher Jokes | Steak Jokes | Beef Jokes | 2 | Pork Jokes | Poultry Puns | BBQ Grill Jokes |
| Deli Jokes | Burger Puns | 2 | 3 | Hot Dog LOLs | Ketchup Jokes, Mustard Puns | Herb | Soup |
| Colorado Cuisine | Tex-Mex Jokes | Seafood Puns | Pirate Eats | Cop Cuisine | Breakfast Puns |
| Carrot Jokes | Corn | Peppers | Pickle Puns | 2 | 3 | Potato Puns | Salad | Tomato | Veggies |
| Snack Jokes | Halloween Treats | Tasty Cannibal Jokes | Sci-Fi Food Jokes | Green Munchies |
| Diet Puns | Gnome Diet | Vegetarian, Vegan Puns | Fitness Dieting Jokes | 2 | Grocery Store |

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