Q. Why do we call mobile telephones cell phones?
A. Because people are their prisoners.

Q. When won't a cell phone work under water?
A. When it's wringing wet!

Q. Why does everybody still need a land line?
A. To locate a cell phone that's somewhere in your house.

Q. Why didn't the comedian tell his latest cell phone joke?
A. Because it had a bad reception.

Q. Why do thieves prefer to steal Android phones instead of iPhones?
A. 'Cause they like to Hangout and not Face Time!

Q. What do you call an iPhone that isn't fooling around?
A. Siri-ous.

A guy asked his iPhone, "Surely I don't need need sun screen today?" Siri replied, "No, and and don't call me Shirley!" Turns out he'd left it in Airplane mode.

Blonde Technology Point to Ponder: The new iPhone uses facial recognition to unlock it, so can I still use it after I take my makeup off?

Q. What do you call your iPhone charger?
A. Apple Juice.

Q. Why did the blonde, who slept with her cell phone under her pillow, wake up with a $10 bill there instead?
A. She was visited by the Bluetooth Fairy!

The guy who found a cell phone walked up to the local meteorologist and said, "This must be yours." "Why?," asked the weatherman. Guy replied, "Sir, it says '14 missed calls.'"

Q. What do you call a bald spot on a salesman at the cell phone store?
A. A gap in coverage.

Cell Phone Safety Tip of the Day: Never have phone sex without protection so you won't contract hearing aids.

Q. What did the cell phone say to the back pocket?
A. I'd like to make a booty call!

Q. Why did the Stormtrooper buy an iPhone?
A. Because he couldn't find the 'Droid he was looking for.

Ironic Tech Fact of the Day: Cell phones keep getting thinner and smarter. Humans, the opposite.

A guy accidentally butt dialed his proctologist. The doctor said he was getting tired of that shitty joke.

Q. Why couldn't the naked guy get cell phone service?
A. No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service...

Q. What do you call a cell phone that doesn't work any more?
A. A dead ringer.

Q. Why didn't the skeleton need a cell phone?
A. He had no body to talk with.

Q. What do you get if you cross a skunk and a cell phone?
A. Stinky service.

Cellular Point to Ponder: If you happen to see an iPhone being stolen, does that make you an iWitness?

Q. What does a cat with Verizon cell service say?
A. Can you hear meow?

Q. What do you get if you cross a cell phone and a night crawler?
A. Ringworm!

Nurse: My phone just died.
Doctor: Let's call it.

Retro Cell Phone Laughs: Life was so much easier when Apple and Blackberry were just fruits.

Q. Which brand of cell phone doesn't need a lock?
A. Nokia.

Q. What happens if you fall asleep on your cell phone?
A. You download a nap.

Q. What do you get if you cross a cell phone with a bottle mouthwash?
A. A telescope!

Q. What is an unlimited cell phone plan?
A. There's no limit to how much they can charge.

Did you hear about the couple who got married under a cell tower? The wedding was okay, but the reception was terrific!

Q. What do you call a damaged iPhone that has a black screen, but still works for voice calls?
A. An earPhone.

Q. How is a cell phone like a dirty bathtub?
A. Both have various rings.

Cellular Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, are you a cell phone? 'Cause I can't take my eyes off you.

Cell Phone Tip of the Day: iPhone users, don't bother sending the Meteor emoji to Android users. It just doesn't have the same impact.

Did you hear about the new cell phone carrier company started by optometrists? It's called eye-Mobile.

Q. What is an iPhone without me?
A. Phone.

Q. How can you express yourself when you're really exasperated?
A. Pull out your cellphone and send vexed messages.

Q. What are consumers saying about the price of the new iPhone X/S?
A. It's excess-ive.

Q. Which Italian brand of cell phone is shaped like a dumpling?
A. Gnocchia.

A blonde got a new cell phone from her hubbie. Next day she went shopping and her phone rang. Her husband asked, "How's your new phone?" She replied, "Great, but how'd you know I was at Wal-Mart?"

Q. How does a skeleton call its friends?
A. On its cell bone.

Grandpa got his first cell phone and it was an iPhone. The first time he used it, he called his son saying in a panic, "I'm going to jail! It says I'm going to Face Time!"

Q. What asks no questions, yet demands an answer?
A. Your cell phone!

Q. Which type of music do cell phones enjoy most?
A. Symphonies.

Grandpa was given a selfie stick for Christmas. Turns out he can now hold the phone far enough away to read his text messages.

Q. Which cell phone provider do priests use?
A. Virgin Mobile.

When pesky telemarketers call, just hand your cell phone to your four-year-old and tell her it's Santa Claus...

Q. What do you say when you're gonna drunk dial somebody?
A. Al-cohol you later.

Phony Pick-Up Line: Hey bae, I seem to have lost my cell phone number, so can I have yours?

High Tech Point to Ponder: If today's smart phones have a million times the power of the computers that sent Apollo to the moon, can you brag that you have a rocket in your pocket?

High Tech Fact of the Day: A recent study showed iPhones are the most popular hand-held device. For the first time, the penis has slipped into the Number 2 slot.

Q. Why doesn't Star Trek TNG Captain Piccard us an iPhone?
A. He prefers Androids!

Ringing Fact of the Day: Sorry, Taco Bell is not a cell phone store.

Mr. Data Point to Ponder: Why don't Android users use emojis?

Did you hear about the guy who got mad when his phone battery died? His shrink said he needed to find an outlet.

Old voice mail never dies; it just doesn't answer.

Chuck Norris didn't dial the wrong number, you picked up the wrong cell phone!

Q. What did voice mail say to the cell phone?
A. Take my word for it!

Q. What is it called when a fashion designer nearly causes a car crash by using her phone while driving?
A. A clothes call.

Q. Why don't birds use cell phones?
A. They're afraid of winging the wrong number.

Q. How do you get an iPhone to sync?
A. Name it Titanic.

Q. How is having sex just like charging your new foldable SmartPhone?
A. You can flip over your partner and it's still plug 'n play!

Q. What is the tech term for a rotten, defective smart phone download?
A. Bad applet.

Q. What happened after Samsung released the new foldable SmartPhone?
A. Bugs and problems began to unfold.

Q. Where can you go to see a galaxy explode?
A. A Samsung store.

Did you hear about the cell phones that got married? The reception was great.

A guy saw another guy texting and driving. The first guy guy so mad, that he threw his beer at Tex.

Q. How did tech savvy dinosaurs message each other?
A. Tyrannosaurus-Texts.

Q. Why don't bison use cell phones?
A. 'Cause the roaming charges just kill them.

Q. Which cell phone plan does Dr. Noonien Soong use?
A. The one with unlimited Data.

Q. What do you call an iPhone that isn't kidding around?
A. Dead Siri-ous!

Did you hear about the guy who deleted all the Germanic names off his mobile phone? Now, it's a Hans-Free device.

Q. How can you tell which of your friends just got the newest cell phone?
A. Don't worry, they'll tell you.

Q. Which cellphone service provider is located in Birmingham's state?
A. Mobile Alabama.

Q. Why did the guy name his cell phone Privilege?
A. Because he never checks it.

Lore: I was the first Android with unlimited Data!

Thanks for stopping by and see you again soon!

Join us on social media and please feel free to share our memes with friends and family:

©2017-2021 Painfulpuns.com All rights reserved.