| Q.
Whay aren't gorillas afraid of zombies?
A. Because the ape-ocalypse doesn't frighten them.
Q.
What do they call the gorilla marathon runner who only wins
when it's pouring outdoors?
A. The raining chimp-ion.
Q.
Why couldn't the big baboon get into trade school?
A. He failed the Ape-titude test.
Q.
Which type of great ape plays the drums?
A. The Bamboom.
Q.
What do you call an angry big ape?
A. Grrrr-illa.
Q.
Why did the gorilla cross the road?
A. To get to the monkey biz on the other side.
Q.
What do you call the big ape who made the winning play in
the Super Bowl?
A. Chimpion!
Q.
What happens when a gorilla has a melt down?
A. He goes absolutely bananas!
Q.
Why did King Kong climb up the outside of the Empire State
Building?
A. 'Cause the elevator was full
Q.
What is it called when two tribes of great apes battle each
other?
A. Gorilla warfare.
Q.
Which country was founded by wild primates?
A. The Banana Republic.
Q.
What was the orangutan gardener's favorite saying?
A. Ape-ril showers bring May flowers.
Q.
What haapens if a gorilla sits on your piano?
A. You get a flat note. |
Q.
Why did the chimpanzee cross the road?
A. He had to attend to some cheeky monkey biz on the other
side.
Q.
Which primate is both frugal and cowardly?
A. The Cheap Pansy.
Q.
What kind of underwear do sexy gorillas wear?
A. Chim-pant-zies.
Q.
What do you get if you cross a hairy ape and a shellfish?
A. A shrimpanzee!
Q.
Why was the gorilla's jungle party so lame?
A. Because theyran out of chimps and dip.
Q.
What do you call a hungry ape that prays for nacho flavor
Doritos?
A. A chimpmonk.
Q.
Where did the bonobo like to go sailing?
A. The Chimpan-Sea.
Q.
Why don't chimpanzees speak English?
A. They just don't have the ape-titude.
Q.
Which cheeky rock band is still the favorite of baboons
and orangutans?
A. The Monkees.
Q.
Why was the baby gorilla such a big brat?
A. Because his parents are big apes.
Q.
What is a big ape's favorite toy?
A. A bab-boom-orang.
Q.
Which kind of primate can fly?
A. A hot-air baboon.
Q.
Which book makes virgin gorillas blush?
A. The Naked Ape.
Q.
Which kind of ape enjoys smoking tobaco?
A. Cigarilla.
Big
Ape Pick-Up Line: Hey
Jane, are you a gorilla enclosure? 'Cause I'd drop my baby
in you. |
Q.
What do big apes and cheeky chimps do for laughs?
A. They tell jokes about people – and bananas.
Gorilla
Gym Rat Groan of the Day: Geez, gain a little muscle mass,
and everybody acuses you of steroids. As if eating too many
bananas wasn't dopey enough!
Q.
What is a primate's favorite flavor of ice cream?
A. Banana Chocolate Chimp.
Q.
Where do jungle apes get their gossip?
A. From the grapevine.
Q.
Why was the big gorilla so uncooth?
A. Because he was raised in a zoo.
Q.
Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
A. Because they have big fingers.
Q.
Why did the gorilla fail his High School finals?
A. He had little ape-titude.
Q.
What is a gorilla's favorite fruit?
A. Ape-ricots.
Q.
What is a primate's favorite novel?
A. The Apes of Wrath.
Q.
Where do chimpanzees shop for stylish clothing?
A. Banana Republic.
Q.
Why are baboons always drinking in the park?
A. 'Cause there are monkey bars there.
Q.
What do you call an entertaining gorilla eating a banana?
A. Ape peeling.
Q.
What is King Kong's favorite movie?
A. Planet of the Apes.
Old
gorillas never die, but they do go bananas. |
