Happy Toons Day!   PainfulPuns.com - Pet Puns + Funny Birds, Cats, Dogs = Pet Peeves

PainfulPuns Home
Animal Puns, Wildlife Humor
Bartender Puns, Bar Humor
Crappy Puns & Sh*tty Jokes!
Cheesy Puns & Sharp Humor
Clucking Funny Farm Animal Puns
Edible Puns, Fun with Food
Frightful Puns, Scary Jokes
Garden Puns, Green Groaners
Gnome Puns Intended
Painful Jokes & Groaner Puns
Monstrously Funny Puns
Work Humor, Joking on the Job
Old Jokes & Old Never Die Puns
Painful Puns, Punny Funs
Pet Puns + Jokes = Funny Pet Peeves
Sharp Pick-Up Lines, Cheesy Come-Ons
Funny Riddles, Punny Answers!
Sick Puns, Healthy Laughs
Smart Humor! Science + Math = Puns
Tech Jokes, PC Puns & Net Ouch!

And while you're here,
please take a moment to
visit our sponsors:

Q. What is a
duck's favorite

A. The feather


Q. Do Birds Always Know Exactly Where They're Going? A. No, sometimes they just wing it.


Q. Which dirty crook stole all
of the soap?

A. The
robber ducky.

A friend annoys me with bad puns, but toucan play at that game!

Duckling Jokes, Loon Puns, Mallard Humor
Fly along with webbed puns, robber ducky humor, loony LOLs and fowl jokes that'll quack you up.

Duck Jokes, Water Fowl Humor, Quack Puns
('Cause Cold Duck Tail Jokes and Ugly Duckling Puns Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream in North Duck-ota or Billings, MT!)
Warning: Get Down with Caution! Big bill jokes, wing humor, web feet laughs and quacker jack teal puns ahead.
| Duck Jokes | 2 | Parrot Jokes | Pet Bird Jokes | Tropical Fish and Koi Jokes | Finny Fish Puns |
| Dog Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Dog Days LOLs | Colorado Dog Jokes | Denver Bronco Dog Jokes |
| Pet Kitty Cat Jokes | 2 | 3 | Feline Humor | Caturday Laughs | Pet Animal Jokes | Vet Jokes |
| Animal Poop Puns | Pet Rodent Jokes | Mouse Puns | Exotic Pets | Frog Jokes | Snake Jokes |

A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. Bartender says: "$4." Duck replies: "Put it on my bill."
q. What happens when a duck flies upside down? a. It quacks up!
Q. How do you change tires on a duck? A. With a Quacker Jack.

Q. Why was a duck arguing with the plastic surgeon?
A. Because he wanted to have his bill reduced.

Q. How do you make a duck sing soul music?
A. Toss him in the clothes dryer until his Bill Withers.

A man returned to the vet clinic to see if his pet's surgery was successful. Vet says, "Here's the bill. Unfortunately, we couldn't reattach it to your duck."

Q. What did the duck do after he read all these Painful Puns?
A. He seriously quacked up!

Q. What do the neighbors call it when migratory loons dropped into their hot tub?
A. Duck soup.

Water Fowl Pick-Up Line: Wanna Duck?

Q. Chickens rise when the rooster crows, so when do ducks get up?
A. At the quack of dawn.

Q. What is it called when you place a shipment of eider duck feather pillows into a shipping container?
A. Down-loading.

Q. What should you do if a flock of loons suddenly drops out of the sky?
A. Duck and cover!

Q. What says, "Quick, Quick?"
A. A duck with the hiccups.

Q. What did the physics professor name his pet duck?
A. Quark.

Q. Where did the loon go when he was sick?
A. To the duck-tor.

Q. What do you get if you cross a chicken and a duck?
A. A bird that lays down!

Q. What is it called when it rains ducks and geese?
A. Fowl Weather!

Q. Why was the duck put in the basketball game?
A. To make a fowl shot.

Q. What did the Mallard southern belle say when she was surprised by a loon?
A. Well, I do duck-clare!

Q. What does a goose say when a Mallard is in the vee flight path?
A. What the duck?

Q. What do you get if you cross a duck and a fireworks?
A. A Fire-Quacker.

Q. Where do
duck farts
come from?

A. A
butt quack.

Q. What do you get if you cross a duck and a vampire? A. Count Quackula!

Q. What do
you call a
clever duck?

A. A wise

Q. What is it called when a duck farts in your backyard pond?
A. Water fowl.

Q. What do you call a cat who ate the duck?
A. A duck-filled fatty-puss.

Q. Which casual slacks did hipster Mallards wear in 1999?
A. Quacky-colored cotton Duckers.

Q. What do two small horny ducks say to each other?
A. Let's make a teal.

Q. Why did the ducks miss the goose wedding?
A. They were under the feather.

Q. How do backyard pet ducklings stay fit?
A. With morning worm-ups.

Q. What has fangs and webbed feet?
A. Count Duckula.

Q. What do Mallards, teals, and loons like to watch on television?
A. Duck-umentaries.

Q. Which blockbuster duck movie won an Oscar?
A. Lord of the Wings.

Q. What does a well-dressed duck wear to a formal affair?
A. His ducks-edo.

Q. What do you get when you cross a tyrant with a loon?
A. A duck-tater.

Q. What do you call a haunted duckling?
A. A poultry-geist.

Q. What do you call a crate of ducks?
A. A box of quakers.

Q. What do Canadians call a loon that uses both wings equally well?
A. Ambi-duck-strous.

Q. What was the clever loon doing at college?
A. Working on his duck-toral thesis.

Q. How does info travel so quickly from one loon to another?
A. Bird of mouth!

Q. Which quacking animated character's diet consists of sticky, chewy candy?
A. Taffy Duck.

Q. What is a city park duck's street drug of choice?
A. Quack.

Duck goes to a drug store to buy some Chapstick. Clerk asks: "Is that cash or credit?" Duck replies: "Just put it on my bill."
Q. what do you get if you cross a cow and a duck? A. Milk and quackers!
Q. Which bird species holds things together best? A. Velcrows.

Q. What do you get if you kiss a duck?
A. A peck on the cheek.

Q. Why was the duck kicked out of the golf course bar?
A. He had a very large bill.

Q. What does a Mallard need to screw in a light bulb?
A. Manual ducks-terity.

Q. How did the water fowl hunter describe his weekend?
A. Just ducky.

Q. What do you call a loon that's a drug addict?
A. A quack head.

Q. What did the duck detective say to TV reporters?
A. I have quacked the case!

Q. What do ducks eat with soup?
A. Quackers.

Q. Where do relief players hang out during loon league baseball games?
A. In the duck-out.

Q. What are cops calling the loon that steals crackers?
A. A Robber Ducky.

Q. Which teal detective was a stellar crime solver?
A. Duck Tracy.

Q. Why do ducks tell really dumb jokes to crows?
A. Just be-caws!

Q. Where do bird royalty live?
A. At Duckingham Palace.

Q. How many ducks does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. One will take a quack at it.

Q. Where did the Mallard go when he was having vision problems?
A. To the eye duck-tor.

Q. Why did the duck decide to cross the road twice?
A. She was a double crosser!

Q. Which
kind of duck
can fix

A. Duck Tape.

Q. What is the difference between a miser and a canary? A. One's a little cheap & the other's a little cheeper.

Q. Why
anybody see
the duck?

A. 'Cause
it was
in da skies!

Q. What happened when a migrating duck crashes into an airplane?
A. She caused a real flap.

Q. Why did the duck bring toilet paper to the celebration?
A. He was a real party pooper.

Q. What did the water fowl sign when they rebelled against colonial rule?
A. The Duck-leration of Independence.

Q. Why did a flock of migrating duck land near the summit of Lookout Mountain above Denver?
A. 'Cause they liked the bird's-eye-view.

Q. Which water fowl is employed by Amazon?
A. The loading duck.

Q. What do ducks like to binge watch on Animal Planet?
A. Duckumentaries.

Q. Where do teals and Mallards invest their money?
A. The stork market.

Q. How do fans describe Super Duck, the superhero?
A. The Man of Teal.

Q. What do you call a trippy duck that just won't shut up?
A. A quack head.

Q. What do you call a bossy duck in a clinic?
A. A nurse quack-titioner.

Q. What do duck folk singers croon?
A. Mallard ballads.

Q. What do you call a duck on drugs?
A. A quack head.

Q. What do ducks eat with cheese?
A. Quackers.

Q. Why do migrating ducks always fly south?
A. Because it's too far to walk.

Q. What do ducks and geese flying over the city dump like about the great outdoors?
A. Debris!

Q. When will the migrating Mallard ducks reach their winter destination?
A. That's still up in the air.

Q. What do you call a flock of ducks playing hide 'n seek in the park?
A. Fowl play.

Q. Which kind of ducks do pirates use for currency?
A. Dab-loons.

Q. What do you call a cold duck during the winter?
A. Brrrrd!

| Duck Jokes, Quack Puns, and Loon Laughs | 2 | Goose Humor | Parrot Jokes | Pet Bird Jokes |
| Owl Jokes, Owl-ful Puns | Cocky Rooster Jokes | Chicken Jokes, Hen Humor | Dinosaur Jokes |
| Dog Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Dog Days LOLs | Colorado Dog Jokes | Denver Bronco Dog Jokes |
| Pet Kitty Cat Jokes | 2 | 3 | Feline Humor | Caturday Laughs | Wildcat Humor, Lion Jokes |
| Tropical Fish and Koi Jokes | Finny Fish Puns | Pet Animal Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Vet Jokes |
| Animal Poop Puns | Pet Rodent Jokes | Mouse Jokes | Rabbit Jokes and Funny Bunny Puns |
| Exotic Pet and Reptile Puns | Frog Jokes and Toad Puns | Snake Jokes | Scary Animal Jokes |
| Farm Animals | Horse Jokes | Wild Animal Jokes | Colorado Animal Jokes | Party Animal Grins |
| Animal Sports Humor | Animal Music Jokes | Christmas Animal Jokes | Animal Pick-Up Lines |

PainfulPuns Home
You've gotten down this far, so float along to even more loony laughter,
webbed humor, daffy jokes and fowl painful puns that'll surly quack you up:

More Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...

| Air Travel Jokes | Auto Mechanical Jokes | Bartender Jokes | Canadian LOLs | Clean Puns | Colorado Jokes |
| Fart Jokes | Feet Jokes | Pants Puns | Pirate Jokes | Police Puns | Road Jokes | Robber Jokes | Sci-Fi Jokes |
| Seasonal Humor | Sports Jokes | Superman Jokes | Water Rec Laughs | Wild Weather Jokes | Yellow Puns |

Bartender Puns, Bar HumorAnimal Puns, Wildlife HumorClucking Funny Farm Animal Puns
Monstrously Funny PunsCrappy Puns & Sh*tty Jokes! Pot Puns, Weed Jokes, Green Grow-ners!

Thanks for stopping by and see you again soon!

Join us on social media and please feel free to share our memes with friends and family:
PainfulPuns at Facebook PainfulPuns at Twitter PainfulPuns at Pinterest

©2017-2021 Painfulpuns.com PainfulPuns.com Logo Man All rights reserved.