Colorado High Country Joke: I put a Denver Broncos jersey on my airplane. Now it can't touch down!   PainfulPuns.com - Puns, Jokes, Word Play, Groaners, Ouch!

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Old Most Interesting Man in the Word says: I put a Denver Broncos jersey on my airplane. Now it can't touch down!
Q. What is fast, loud, and crunchy? A. A Rocket Chip!
Why did the cow go into the spaceship? She wanted to see the Moooooon!
Q. Why do Canada geese fly upside down over the Broncos' stadium? A. There's nothing worth crappon on! GO Broncos!
Q. Where does ET park his space ship? A. A Parking Meteor!

 


Air Travel Jokes, Flying Humor, Flighty Puns
Fly aloft with airport laughs, airplane humor, airline puns and funny mile high club jokes.

Airplane Jokes, Flight Humor, Airport Jokes
(Because Mile High Club Jokes Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream While You're Still Stuck at the Airport, Unless It's DIA!)
Warning: Jet Set at Your Own Risk! Hot air humor, autopilot LOLs, baggage jokes and bad altitude puns ahead.
| Air Travel Puns | World Traveler Jokes | British Travel Jokes | Travel Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
| Road Trip Jokes and Traffic Humor | Car Jokes | Auto Mechanic Puns | Colorado Tourist Jokes |
| Cross the Road Jokes | Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road? | Sci-Fi Crossed the Road | 2 |
| Travel Pick-Up Lines | Sea Trip Jokes | 2 | Space Travel Jokes | Time Travel Jokes | Time Puns |

Q. Why were the hot air balloonists able to see the sun come up? A. because they were early risers!You might be from Colorado if you've stood on solid ground and looked down on an airplane in flight!Did designers of single=person blimps experience one-upmanship?

Q. Which kind of primate can fly?
A. A hot-air baboon.

Q. Who wrote the book, No Fear of Skydiving?
A. Hugh Gogh Furst.

Q. What caused all the delays at the skydiving school?
A. They were falling behind schedule.

Skydiving Tip of the Day: Chute first, ask questions later!

Q. What do you call a mint employee who sky dives on the weekends?
A. Penny from Heaven.

Q. What is it called when a rich couple buys matching airplanes?
A. Jet set.

Blonde: My son came here to Denver on his summer vacation.
Friend: Did you meet him at DIA?
Blonde: No, I've known him his whole life.

DIA Pick-Up Line: Hey, I've got two boarding passes. Let's catch a flight and see where we land.

Q. Why were the flight attendants so stressed out?
A. They were feeling the cabin pressure.

Q. Why didn't the blonde pilot practice before taking off?
A. She thought she could just wing it.

Q. What do you say to a cow that jumps in front of your flying car?
A. Moo-ve over.

Q. What do you call it when you're sick of being stranded at the airport?
A. A terminal illness!

Q. How do you describe a cross-country trip taken in super-fast train?
A. Quick and planeless.

Q. Who wrote the new travel guide, A Great Way to Travel?
A. Ana Plain.

Q. How do you describe somebody really who loves air travel?
A. Light-hearted.

Q. Why would you assume that the private jet pilot was making the big bucks?
A. Because his flying business was really taking off.

Wolf says: You might be from Colorado if you know the "Mile High Club" has nothing to do with Denver!You might be from Colorado if you joined the "Two-Mile High Club" at the summit of Pike's Peak!You might be from Colorado if you joined the "Mile High Club: in the back seat of an SUV!

Q. What to you call flying solo in the Mile High Club?
A. Autopilot!

Q. What to you call flying solo in the Mile High Club?
A. Cloud Seeding!

Mile High Club Point to Ponder: If a Denver Bronco scores in the air, is there a penalty for holding?

Q. What to you call flying solo in the Mile High Club?
A. Touring the cockpit!

Q. Which is the official air carrier for the Mile High Club?
A. Unutted Airlines.

Q. What to you call flying solo in the Mile High Club?
A. Hijacking!

Air Travel Point to Ponder: If you joined the Mile High Club solo, is that considered a High Jacking?

Mile High Club Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, how 'bout we find out if what they say about about flying the frieindly skies united is true?

Q. What did the prostitute say when the passenger beside her said he didn't have any cash, but really wanted to join the mile high club?
A. I don't give a flying f-ck.

Q. Which European aerospace manufacturer produces planes officially endorsed by the Mile High Club?
A. Bang Airbus.

Miles High Point to Ponder: If you're abducted by aliens and get probed and sexually violated, are you now a member of the Mile High Club?

Colorado Point to Ponder: If you joined the Mile High Club on the Field at Mile High, would an NFL ref penalize you for cheating?

Mile High Club Point to Ponder: If a Denver Bronco scores in flight, is that considered a touchdown?

Q. Which is the official airline for the Mile High Club: Frontier, Delta, United or Air France?
A. All of the above!

Q. Where is the best place to join the Mile High Club: standing in a cramped loo, in a private jet, or in a hot air balloon?
A. Yes!

Q. What should you say if some sleaze bag on a crowded airliner asks if you'd like to join the Mile High Club?
A. Join it? Seriously? I'm a strictly a charter member!

Space Shuttle Says: Happy Flight Day!What do you call alien spacecraft that goes from planet to planet? A. UF-HOE!Shuttle Launch Says: Happy Thrust Day!

Q. What do you call it when a giraffe swallows a small drone?
A. A real plane in the neck!

Q. What did the blonde helicopter pilot say after the crash?
A. Well, it was getting hot, so I just turned the fan off.

Q. What has a nose and flies, but can't smell?
A. An airplane.

Q. What do you call a test flight that's doomed to crash?
A. An Error Plane.

Q. Why did the tourist's luggage start to cry?
A. Because he had emotional baggage.

Q. What did it take for America to become a pioneer in the aviation industry?
A. The Right brothers.

Q. What do you get if you cross a jet plane and a magician?
A. A flying sorcerer.

Q. What did the alien ask its shipmate that just returned from vacation?
A. Where on Earth have you been?

Q. What do you call a pregant flight attendant?
A. Pilot Error!

Q. What do space aliens call a flying machine that's about to crash?
A. An Error Plane!

Q. How did the barber travel during his last vacation?
A. By hair plane.

Q. Why did St. Patrick drive all the snakes out of Ireland?
A. He couldn't afford the plane fare.

Q. What only works after it's fired?
A. A rocket!

Q. Why isn't the old rocket engine being used nowadays?
A. 'Cause it's no longer thrust-worthy.

Q. What did the doctor tell the guy who got sick at the airport?
A. It's a terminal disease.

Q. Why did the librarian get booted off the flight to DIA?
A. It was overbooked.

Q. Why did the young airplane get sent to his bedroom?
A. Bad altitude.

Q. What happened when the pilot on vacation decided to cook while in the air?
A. It was a recipe for disaster.

Q. What is the spot seen on a radar screen when an airship is flying? A. The Goodyear Blip!Q. What do you get if you cross an elephant and the abominable snowman? A. A Jumbo Yeti!Q. What is a balloonist's favorite day of the week? A. Fly Day!

Q. What do flyers do with wood after they cut it and split it?
A. They Pilot.

Q. Would the weather be clear for the balloon’s morning flight?
A. It was up in the air.

Q. Why was the blonde guy afraid to fly to Finland?
A. He was afraid he'd disappear in FinnAir!

Q. Who wrote the book, Flying for Beginners?
A. Landon Saye Flee.

Q. What is it called when a financier's pilot tilts his private plane to curve around?
A. High-level banking.

News Flash: A news copter crashed into the local cemetery. Early reports say at least 500 dead. Stay tuned. More at 10 P.M.

Q. Where are the Great Plains located?
A. At the Great Airports!

Travel Point to Ponder: Can Chuck Norris fold airplanes into paper?

Q. Which airline do vampires take when going on vacation?
A. Scare Canada!

Q. Which kind of dog was bred to go on vacation?
A. The Jet Setter.

Q. How do rabbits travel while on vacation?
A. By Hareplane.

Deadly Funny Groan of the Day: Did you hear about the Cessna that crashed into the graveyard? Over 50 bodies have been recovered so far. Which is odd, considering that it was a four seat plane.

Q. Why don't duck pilots tell jokes while they're flying?
A. So they don't quack up!

Q. Which kind of confections do they serve at the airport?
A. Plane chocolate.

Q. Why do pilots always travel first-class while on vacation?
A. Because they can handle sky-high prices.

Q. Why did Mickey Mouse take a trip into space?
A. He wanted to visit Pluto.

My suitcase started to cry when I picked it up off the baggage carousel at DIA. I guess I'm carrying emotional baggage.

Q. What did the passengers say about the food served on the small airliner?
A. It was a little plane.

| Air Travel Humor and Mile High Club Jokes | Gnome Travel Jokes | Sea Trip Humor | 2 |
| Travel Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | World Traveler Jokes | British Travel Jokes | Time Travel | 2 |
| Road Trip Jokes and Traffic Humor | Car Puns | Auto Mechanic Jokes | Space Travel Puns |
| Cross the Road Jokes | Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road? | Sci-Fi Crossed the Road | 2 |
| Colorado Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | Denver | 2 | 3 |
| You Might Be From Colorado If... | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Tourism | Mountains | 2 | 3 | Hipsters |
| Painful Groaner Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 |

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