What happened to the blonde who was pumping gas while smoking
A. Her arm caught on fire. When the cops showed up, they
shot her for waving a fire arm.
What did one mechanic say to the other mechanic after they
broke the car?
A. How will we wrench ourselves out of this one?
auto mechanics never die, but they do retire.
What did the big carburetor say to the little carburetor?
A. Don't inhale so fast, or you'll choke!
Repair Point to Ponder: Is having car insurance a pre-wreck-quisite?
What is the name of the new line of men's antiperspirant
deodorant inspired by race car drivers?
A. Pit Stop!
Why did the lumber truck stop?
A. So the driver could jack off.
Why did Walt Disney visit an auto mechanic?
A. He wanted to have his car tuned.
What do you call a tractor-trailer driver who does okay
A. Semi successful.
Mechanic Blew My Mind: I never knew my mechanic
was a psychic until he announced that I had blown a tranny
in my car!
Why did the blonde trucker go past the truck stop?
A. Because she had to pee. Duh!
Why is it so hard to find funny auto mechanic jokes?
A. Because car repairs are NOT funny! OUCH!
Which two things might a fruit-loving classic car buff have
A. Peaches and chrome.
Why don't old auto mechanics ever die?
A. Because they're so well lubricated.
Why did a blonde drive to the auto body repair shop?
A. She was looking for a dentist!
How did the blonde get in and out of Jiffy Lube so fast?
A. The mechanic said all she needed was blinker fluid.
Why did the blonde think her car needed another muffler?
A. Because it was cold outside.
What ?is the job title of the salesman who supplies the
auto body shop
A. Fender Vendor.
Truck Driver Pick-Up Line:
Hey Babe, is your battery dead? 'Cause I'd like to jump
brakes never die, they just wear away.
air compressor at the gas station used to be a quarter and
now it's two bucks. That's inflation for you.