I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.   PainfulPuns.com - Job Jokes, Funny Occupations, Work Whoas?

PainfulPuns Home
Animal Puns, Wildlife Humor
Bartender Puns, Bar Humor
Crappy Puns & Sh*tty Jokes!
Cheesy Puns & Sharp Humor
Clucking Funny Farm Animal Puns
Edible Puns, Fun with Food
Frightful Puns, Scary Jokes
Garden Puns, Green Groaners
Gnome Puns Intended
Painful Jokes & Groaner Puns
Monstrously Funny Puns
Work Humor, Joking on the Job
Old Jokes & Old Never Die Puns
Painful Puns, Punny Funs
Pet Puns + Jokes = Funny Pet Peeves
Sharp Pick-Up Lines, Cheesy Come-Ons
Funny Riddles, Punny Answers!
Sick Puns, Healthy Laughs
Smart Humor! Science + Math = Puns
Tech Jokes, PC Puns & Net Ouch!

And while you're here,
please take a moment to
visit our sponsors:

Q. What's the best way to charge a car battery? A. With a credit card!
Banana Joke: Why did the banana fail the driving test? A. It kept peeling out!
What did the alien say to the gas pump? Please take your finger out of your nose!
Q. Why did the blonde smear peanut butter on the road? A. To go with the traffic jam!
Q. What kind of cars do Santa's elves drive? A. Toy-otas!

 


Mechanic Jokes, Lube Humor, Grease Monkey LOLs
Motor along with car tune puns, free-wheeling laughs, repair humor and gut-wrenching jokes.

Funny Auto Mechanic Jokes and Car Repair Puns
(Because Car Repair Jokes Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream While You're Riding in a Tow Truck with Your Mechanic!)
Warning: Car Mechanics Love Tow Truck Jokes! Tuned up humor, jacked up jokes, and pumped up puns ahead.
| Auto Mechanic Jokes | Car Puns | Traffic Jokes, Road Trip LOLs | Commute Jokes | Bicycle Puns |
| Motorcycle Jokes | Gnome Biker | Air Travel Jokes | Mile High Club Jokes | Uber, Taxi Jokes |
| Travel Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | World Traveler Jokes | British Travel Puns | USA State Jokes |
| Space Travel Jokes | Time Traveler Jokes | On Time Puns | Sea Travel Jokes | 2 | Train Humor |


Q. What is the favorite flower of USA auto owners? A. The Car-Nation!They served lunch at the auto repair shop, but I didn't eat it because it was full of carbs.Q. What do you need to become an expert mechanic? A. Fine Motor Skills!

Q. What did the disgruntled guy say to his mechanic?
A. You auto know better!

Q. What did the auto mechanic say to the guy at the NAPA store?
A. Oh, give me a brake!

Q. Which cable channel do auto mechanics enjoy?
A. The Car Tune Network.

Q. What did the auto mechanic do during his spare time?
A. He liked to draw cartoons.

Q. Why wouldn't the blonde go to Grease Monkey during her lunch hour?
A. Because she was a vegan.

Q. Why do mechanics like working on Fords?
A. They come from the factory with the problem circled.

Q. How do you know you've found the right auto mechanic?
A. He understands all the language you speak to describe the @#$%! problem.

Auto mechanic Pick-Up Line: Hey Babe, wanna lubricate my camshaft?

Q. What did the NAPA clerk say to the guy who asked if he could get a wiper blade for his Yugo?
A. Sure, sounds like a fair trade to me!

Did you hear about the mechanic who performed abdominal surgery on a robot? It was gut-wrenching!

Q. What did the alien say to the gas pump?
A. Take your finger out of your nose while I'm talking to you.

Did you hear about the mechanic who is afraid of speed bumps? He's slowly getting over it.

Q. How many auto mechanics does it tke to change a light bulb? A. Six. One to force it with a hammer and fie to go out for more bulbs!Q. What kind of car does a stoner drive? A. A Blazer!Q. How many auto mechanics does it take to change a light bulb? A. Two. One to screw in all the bulbs he has until he finds the one that fits, and one to tell you he thinks he'll have to replace the whole socket!

Q. Which film was about really bad auto mechanics?
A. The Last and the Furious.

Q. How many union mechanics does it take to change a light bulb?
A. 12, well that's what's written in the contract.

Q. Why did the devoted mechanic close his repair shop?
A. He recently fell from grease.

Q. What do you get if you cross an auto mechanic and an ancient Egyptian?
A. Toot'nCarMan!

Q. What did the blonde say when the mechanic asked her what coolant is?
A. Duh, a small insect with style!

An eskimo goes to his mechanic. Mechanic says, "Looks like you blew a seal." The eskimo replied, "No, that's just frost on my mustache."

Q. How many auto mechanics does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Four. One to force it loose with a hammer, and three to run out for more bulbs.

Q. Which film about auto mechanics won an Oscar?
A. Lord of the Springs.

Q. What does your auto mechanic do when he stubs his big toe?
A. He calls a big tow truck.

Q. Where do Volkswagons go when they get old? A. To the old Volks home!You might be from Colorado if you carry your $3000 bike on top of your $500 car!Q. How do you change tires on a duck? A. With a Quacker Jack.

Q. Why do babies make crappy auto mechanics?
A. Because of their poor motor skills!

Q. What did the auto mechanic tell the EMTs after he slipped and fell on his tools?
A. It was a gut-wrenching experience.

Q. What's the difference between a bad auto mechanic and a bad politician?
A. With a mechanic, there's a shot something might get fixed.

Q. Which salesman has the slickest line?
A. The STP rep.

Q. Which kind of motor oil does Darth Vader use while tooling around the streets of Denver on vacation?
A. Sithetic.

Did you hear about the unfashionable mechanic? He really needed to change attire!

Q. What's the difference between a car mechanic and a quantum mechanic?
A. The quantum mechanic can get your car into the garage without opening the door.

Q. What is the cheapest way to make your car run better?
A. Go check out new car prices.

Q. Why didn't the guy with ADHD get new brakes when his mechanic said it was time?
A. Because that would slow him down!

Q. What do you call a cross-dressing auto repair technician?
A. A gender-bender fender-mender.

Q. What kind of mechanics fix and break your car at the same time?
A. Quantum Mechanics!

Q. Why was the guy fired from the muffler factory?
A. Because he was always so exhausted!

Q. What's another name for a dentist's office? A. A filling station!Q. How many Teamsters does it take to change a light bulb? A. Six. You got a problem with that, pal?Q. Why did a blonde go to the dentist? A. Because somebody dented her car!

Q. What happened to the blonde who was pumping gas while smoking a cigarette?
A. Her arm caught on fire. When the cops showed up, they shot her for waving a fire arm.

Q. What did one mechanic say to the other mechanic after they broke the car?
A. How will we wrench ourselves out of this one?

Old auto mechanics never die, but they do retire.

Q. What did the big carburetor say to the little carburetor?
A. Don't inhale so fast, or you'll choke!

Car Repair Point to Ponder: Is having car insurance a pre-wreck-quisite?

Q. What is the name of the new line of men's antiperspirant deodorant inspired by race car drivers?
A. Pit Stop!

Q. Why did Walt Disney visit an auto mechanic?
A. He wanted to have his car tuned.

Q. What do you call a tractor-trailer driver who does okay for himself?
A. Semi successful.

My Mechanic Blew My Mind: I never knew my mechanic was a psychic until he announced that I had blown a tranny in my car!

Q. Why did the blonde trucker go past the truck stop?
A. Because she had to pee. Duh!

Q. Why is it so hard to find funny auto mechanic jokes?
A. Because car repairs are NOT funny! OUCH!

Old brakes never die, they just wear away.

Q. Which two things might a fruit-loving classic car buff have handy?
A. Peaches and chrome.

Q. Why did a blonde drive to the auto body repair shop?
A. She was looking for a dentist!

Q. How did the blonde get in and out of Jiffy Lube so fast?
A. The mechanic said all she needed was blinker fluid.

Q. Why did the blonde think her car needed another muffler?
A. Because it was cold outside.

Tow Truck Driver Pick-Up Line: Hey Babe, is your battery dead? 'Cause I'd like to jump you.

Q. Why don't old auto mechanics ever die?
A. Because they're so well lubricated.

Q. Why did the lumber truck stop?
A. So the driver could jack off.

The air compressor at the gas station used to be a quarter and now it's two bucks. That's inflation for you.

| Contractor Jokes | Electrician Jokes | Plumber Puns | Landlord Jokes | Locksmith Puns |
| Auto Mechanic Jokes | Car Puns | Road Trip Jokes and Traffic Humor | Bicycle Jokes, Bike Puns |
| Motorcycle Jokes | Biker Gnome Jokes | Taxi, Cab, Uber, Limo Jokes | Train Travel Jokes |
| Air Travel Jokes, Airport Humor | Mile High Club Jokes | Sea Trip Puns | 2 | Gnome Travel Jokes |
| Travel Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | World Traveler Jokes | British Travel Jokes | USA State Jokes |
| Space Travel Puns | Time Traveler Humor | On Time Jokes | Redneck Jokes, Good Ol' Boy LOLs |
| Cross the Road Jokes | Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road? | Sci-Fi Crossed the Road | 2 |
| Colorado Commuter Jokes | Colorado Jokes | Mile High Denver Jokes | Colorado Tourism Jokes |
| You Might Be From Colorado If... | Mountain Jokes | Hipster Humor | Painful Groaner Jokes |

PainfulPuns Home
You've motored this far, so here's more
skid-ish humor, trucking funny jokes,
greasy LOLs and you auto know painful puns to amuse you at brake time:

More Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...

| Blonde Jokes | Brew Pub Puns | Chef Jokes | Cocktail Puns | Dentist Jokes | Fashionable Puns | Fitness Jokes |
| Flower Jokes | Hair Jokes | Light Bulb Jokes | Music Puns | Outer Space Puns | Pick-Up Lines | Police Puns |
| Psychic Jokes | Religion Jokes | Sci-Fi Jokes | Sports Jokes | Weather Puns | Weed Jokes | Weekend Jokes |

Edible Puns, Fun with Food Bartender Puns, Bar Humor Animal Puns, Wildlife Humor
Smart Humor! Science + Math = Puns Crappy Puns & Sh*tty Jokes! Holiday Puns, Silly Seasonal Jokes

Thanks for stopping by and see you again soon!

Join us on social media and please feel free to share our memes with friends and family:
PainfulPuns at Facebook PainfulPuns at Twitter PainfulPuns at Pinterest

©2017-2020 Painfulpuns.com PainfulPuns.com Logo Man All rights reserved.