Why was the carpenter such a great volleyball player?
A He really knew how to hammer spikes!
you heard the latest construction joke? Sorry, it's not
Words of Wisdom: If at first you don't succeed, get a bigger
How do construction workers party?
A. They raise the roof!
Which nails do carpenters hate hitting?
Why did the foreman say to the carpenter who was shirking
A. Quit plane around!
How did the carpenter cut wood in half, just by looking
A. He just saw it with his own eyes!
book never written: Tight Drill Bits by Chuck Key.
Why do roofers get in trouble with the cops?
A. Because they always get high and start flashing.
Which squad in Florida clamps down on carpentry infractions?
A. Miami Vise.
book never written: Construction for Dummies by
Bill D. Blox.
Why was the lonely carpenter sad on Saturday night?
A. He didn't get lathed.
Contractor Slogan: It looks like we've nailed it.
Words of Wisdom: If you polish your own wood, you'll never
catch a veneer-eal disease.
What is the new gardening diet?
A. You hit a garden building with a hammer to shed a few
Which tool did prehistoric contractors prefer?
A The Dino-Saw!
book never written: How to Fix Your House by Han
contractors have a multi-fauceted personality.