Why did the zombie comedian get booed off the stage?
A. Because his jokes were rotten!
What does it take to become a zombie in the first place?
Why aren't zombies very funny?
A. Most zombies won't eat clowns.
Point to Ponder: Is it true that people who enjoy zombie
movies are dead inside?
What do zombies call a battle between classical music composers
where one of them loses their mind?
A. A de-Bach-le.
Why don't zombies play hockey?
A. They're cold-hearted, but they jost don't have the brains
What do you call a guy who goes to a zombie gala?
A. The life of the party!
Why did the zombie fail the math test?
A. It was a real no-brainer.
Who always wins at zombie auctions?
A. The highest biter!
and gnomes might strike up a truce. That's a really scary
Why did the zombie only date highly intelligent women?
A. He just loved women with brains!
What is a zombie's favorite bean?
A. A human bean.
Which day of the week do zombies live for?
A. Fray Day.
you hear about the new zombie dating service? It's called:
Dying to Meat You!
What did the zombie rapper have in common with the politician?
A. Both spit out incomprehensible bullshit!
Where is the safest place to be during a zombie apocalypse?
A. Washington, DC. There are no brains there!
What do zombie tomatoes say when they knock on your door?
A. Lettuce in!
What do you call disabled people during the zombie apocalypse?
A. Meals on wheels.
Zombie Book Never Written:
All That's Left of Me by Myra Maines
What kind of appetizers do zombies like at parties?
A. Finger foods
What game do kid zombies play?
A. Corpse and Grave Robbers!
What do you call zombies that can't run?
A. The Walking Dead!
What do you call a bunch of zombies standing in a row outside
A. A deadline.
Where do zombie chickens attack in south London?
What do you call a zombie who writes music?
A. A decomposer.
What do rock zombies call the guy who gets the group out
of PR scrapes?
A. A Band-Aide.
Why was the zombie conductor late to the haunted house concert?
A. He drove over something sharp and got a flat