Q. What is a zombie's favorite day of the week? Fray Day!   PainfulPuns.com - Frightful Puns, Scary Jokes, Deadly LOL!

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Q. Why are vampires so easy to fool? A. Because they're suckers!
Q. Why do ghosts maek good cheerleaders? A. Because they have a lot of spirit!
Q. Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? A. He had no body to go with!
Q. How are vampires like false teeth? A. They both come out at night!
Q. Why did the monster's mother knit hm three socks for Halloween? A. He grew another foot!

 


Halloween Horror Jokes, Scary Puns, Ghoul Humor
4 out of 5 zombies think brainy jokes, cannibal humor, and gray area puns are delicioius.

Horror Humor, Ghoulish Jokes, Frightful Puns
(Because Spooky Humor, Funny Monster Jokes, and Horror-fying Puns Could Never Be TOO Mainstream!)
Warning: Proceed at Your Own Peril! Deadly jokes, zombie humor, and tasty cannibal puns await you ahead.
| Scary Funny Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | Scary Pick-Up Lines |
| Haunted Halloween Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Funny Halloween Treats | Halloween Music Jokes |
| Ghost Jokes | Monster Jokes | 2 | 3 | Mummy Puns | Skeleton Jokes | 2 | Scary Witch Humor |
| Tasty Cannibal Jokes | Deadly Cemetery Jokes | Haunted House Humor | Werewolf Jokes |

| Scary Animal Jokes | Bigfoot Sightings | 2 | Undead Puns and Zombie Jokes | Brain Puns | 2 |
| Vampire Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Vampire Arts | Bloody Funny | 2 | Friday the 13th Humor |

Zombie Humor: I fired my masseuse today. She just rubbed me the wrong way...A skeleton walks in a bar and says: "Give me a beer...and a mop."

Q. What is a cannibal's favorite food?
A. Baked Beings.

Q. What kind of appetizers do cannibals enjoy at parties?
A. Finger foods.

Q. What happens at a cannibal wedding reception?
A. They toast the bride and groom.

Q. What sort of psychic do cannibals like best?
A. Medium rare.

Q. What does a cannibal call a stoner?
A. Pot Roast.

Q. What is the safest place to be during the zombie apocalypse?
A. The Living Room!

Q. What do you call a guy who goes to a zombie gala?
A. The life of the party!

Q. What time do zombies wake up?
A. At Ate O'Clock!

Q. Where do zombies with no arms and no legs play their championship baseball game?
A. Wrigley Field.

Q. What do you call a fast zombie?
A. Zoombie.

Q. Why did the skeleton go to a single's bar?
A. He wanted to pick up somebody!

Q. Why do skeletons prefer cabernet wine?
A. Because of its full body.

A guy walks into a graveyard bar and asks the bartender for a beer. Bartender replies, "Sorry, we only serve spirits here."

Q. What happened after the dancer was killed at the stripper bar?
A. Now the place is haunted with en-tities.

Q. What did the three vampires order at the bar?
A. Two Bloods and a Blood Light.

Q. What do you give a person with water on the brain? A. A Tap on the Head.Scary Pun: Cannibals Like to Meat People.Scary Question: What do you call young married spiders? NEWLY WEBS

Q. What did the clever zombie say to his hot blonde date?
A. I love a woman with brains!

Q. Why did the blonde guy think he was safe from a zombie attack?
A. 'Cause zombies don't go after Brians.

Q. What is it called when a zombie steals an idea?
A. Plague-giarism.

Q. What do you call a skull without 100 billion neurons?
A. A No-Brainer!

Q. What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
A. He wiped his butt.

Two cannibals are enjoying a barbeque. One turns to the other and says, "I hate my mother-in-law. His buddy replies, "Then just eat the vegetables."

Q. What did the cannibal get when he came home, late to dinner?
A. The cold shoulder.

Q. What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?
A. Spareribs.

Did you hear about the spider love triangle? It was a tangled web.

Q. Where do black widow spiders go on their honeymoon?
A. Lake Eerie.

Q. When do spiders go on their honeymoon?
A. After their webbing day.

Q. What is it called when big, scary, hairy spiders rain down out of the sky?
A. A tarantula downpour!

Scary Eight-Legged Point to Ponder: Do arachnid puns really bite?

Zombie Joke: Q. Why did the lion spit out the clown? A. Because he tasted funny!Dead Riddle: What kind of flowers do you give to King Tut? Chrysanthemummies.Next Stop: The TWiLiGHt GNoMe.

Q. Why did the zombie comedian get booed off the stage?
A. Because his jokes were rotten!

Q. What do you call zombies that can't run?
A. The Walking Dead!

Q. Do the Walking Dead play NFL football?
A. They do! They play offense 'cause that's something to do in Denver when your're dead.

Q. Where is the safest place to be during a zombie apocalypse?
A. Washington, DC. There are no brains there!

Q. What kind of music do mummies like best?
A. Wrap.

Q. What did the mummy say when the archeaologist farted?
A. What Sphinx in Here?

Q. Why did the Egyptologist cry?
A. Because he lost all his mummy.

Q. What do you call recurrent dreams about an ancient Egyptian mummy attacking you while you're cooking?
A. Rameses Kitchen Nightmares.

Q. Why should you always take toilet paper to the Twilight Zone?
A. Doodoo doodoo...

Q. How can an old dude tell he's entered the erotic Serling Twilight Zone?
A. His silver rod is sterling.

Zoned Out Fright of the Night: The best Twilight Zone puns are pretty much black and white.

There's a Twilight Zone Marathon every Thanksgiving, if you've got the right family.
– Warren Holstein.

Q. Who did Frankenstein take to the dance? A. His ghoul friend!Scary Humor: Dead Languages Are Always Encrypted Q. What do mummies listen to on Halloween? A. Wrap music!

Q. Why does the Frankenstein monster detest social media?
A. Because he has so many followers, and they all have pitchforks!

Q. Which pig actor starred in a movie about Frankenswine?
A. Boaris Karloff.

Q. What happened when Dr. Frankenstein crossed a small dog with a cow?
A. It was a terrier bull idea.

Q. What did the grandfather ghoul say to his grandson?
A. You gruesome...

Q. Are corpses funny?
A. No, they're dead serious.

Q. Where do mummies go for a swim?
A. The Dead Sea!

Q. What do you call a bunch of werewolves standing in a row outside your office?
A. A deadline.

Q. Which hot 70s poster girl is a mummy's fave?
A. Pharaoh Fawcett.

Q. What can a sore mummy do?
A. Go to see his Cairo-practor.

Q. What do mummies drink when they're thirsty?
A. Ghoul-Aid!

Q. Where does a mummy drink his espresso?
A. At the Sar-Coffee-Gus.

| Scary Funny Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | Scary Pick-Up Lines |
| Haunted Halloween Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Funny Halloween Treats | Halloween Music Jokes |
| Ghost Jokes | Monster Jokes | 2 | 3 | Mummy Puns | Skeleton Jokes | 2 | Scary Witch Humor |
| Tasty Cannibal Jokes | Deadly Cemetery Jokes | Haunted House Humor | Werewolf Jokes |

| Scary Animal Jokes | Bigfoot Sightings | 2 | Undead Puns and Zombie Jokes | Brain Puns | 2 |
| Vampire Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Vampire Arts | Bloody Funny | 2 | Friday the 13th Humor |

| Holiday Party Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | Daily Jokes | Old Never Die Jokes | Chilling Winter Humor |


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| Sci-Fi Jokes | Seasonal Puns | Shrink Humor | Sports Puns | Superhero Jokes | Travel Jokes | Weed Jokes |

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