Q. Why are vampires so easy to fool? A. Because they're suckers!   PainfulPuns.com - Frightful Puns, Scary Jokes, Deadly LOL!

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Q. What do you call a short vampire? A. A pain in the knee!
Q. What is a vampire's least favorite food? A. A Big Long Steak!


Blood Sucking Humor, Biting Jokes, Slayer Puns
4 out of 5 vampires agree bloodletting jokes, frightful humor, and deadly fang puns don't suck.

Vampire Jokes, Toothy Puns, Dracula Humor
(Because Bloody Funny Puns and Vampire Jokes Could Never Be TOO Mainstream Under Grave Conditions!)
Warning: Proceed at Your Own Risk! Newfangled jokes, grave humor, and batty vampire puns lurk dead ahead.
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Q. What do you call a stupid vampire? A. A silly clot!Q. Why did the vampire become an actor? A. He wanted a part he could dig his teeth into!Q. How would a vampire manage with only one fang? A. Just Grin and Bare It!

Vampire Pick-Up Line: Hey Girl, I'm a vampire in the streets, but a real devil in the sheets.

Q. Where do British vampires go to vacation?
A. The Isle of Fright!

Q. Where did viking vampires first land in the Americas?
A. In New Fangland.

Q. Why did a vampire join the circus?
A. To become an acrobat.

Q. What song do vampires sing on New Year's Eve?
A. Auld Fang Syne.

Q. How long did it take for two vampires to fall for each other?
A. It was love at first bite.

Q. What is a vampire's favorite fast food? A. A person with really high blood pressure!Q. What is a vampire's favorite sport? A. Casketball!Q. Why did the vampire consider hiself a good artist? A. He like to draw blood!

Q. What do you call a hungry vampire at a wedding reception?
A. Vampire, The Buffet Slayer

Vampire Pick-Up Line: Hey Girl, is that blood lust I'm sensing, or just lust?

Did you hear about the vampire musician who tortured his victims? His Bach was worse than his bite.

Vampire Pick-Up Line: Hey Girl, I wish you were a vampire so we could do some necking.

Vampire Pick-Up Line: Hey Girl, you sound British. I can show you a bloody good time!

Today's Fang Fact: Vampires are always on the hunt for their necks victim.

Q. What do they call a soccer game ref in Transylvania? A. A Vumpire!Q. Why are vampire families so close? A. Because blood is thicker than water!Q. What do vampires take when they're sick? A. Coffin Drops!

Q. Why did the vampire's musical gig at the cemetery go so badly?
A. Because the crowd was pretty dead.

Q. Why shouldn't you ever tell a teenage vampire to get a life?
A. Seriously? (Mortal humans can be so dumb.)

Q. How did the vampire fall in love with his wife?
A. It was love at first bite!

Q. Why did the blonde vampire try out to be a porn star?
A. 'Cause she had really big fangs and thangs.

Q. What do you get when you cross a vampire and a ghoul?
A. A hemogoblin.

Vampire Pick-Up Line: Hey Girl, I can make your heart beat again.

Q. What is a vampire's favorite fruit? A. A Nectarine!Q. Why was the vampire so unlucky in love? A. He always loved in vein!Q. What is a vampire's favorite pop love song? A. Why do I ignore the girl necks door.

Q. How many vampires does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Seriously? As if vampires are afraid of the dark!

Q. Where does a vampire take a bath after a sloppy night out?
A. In the bat tub.

Q. Why don't other vampires like that cross vampire?
A. Because he has a very bat temper.

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