Q. Which ice cream flavor is a vampire's favorite? A. Vein-illa!   PainfulPuns.com - Frightful Puns, Scary Jokes, Deadly LOL!

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Q. Why is a vampire good to take out for a meal? A. Because they eat necks to nothing!
Q. Why did the vampire need mouth wash? A. Because he had bat breath!


Vampire Humor, Bloody Funny Jokes, Batty Puns
4 out of 5 vampires agree our frightful jokes, gruesome humor, and deadly puns are tasty!

Dracula Jokes, Vampire Puns, Humor in Vein
(Because Batty Comedians and Bloody Funny Typos Are Never TOO Mainstream for Type A Vampires!)
Warning: Proceed at Your Own Risk! Hypnotic vampire humor, batty jokes, and hellish puns inhabit this realm.
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Q. What is Dracula's favorite circus act? A. He really goes for the juggler!Q. What do vampires think about blood transfusion? A. It's merely new fang-led nonsense!Q. Which song do vampires really detest? A. You Are My Sunshine!

Q. Why don't people like vampires?
A. They generally have a very bat temper.

Q. What do you call the guy who started a company to rid people of vampires?
A. The main stakeholder.

Q. What do you get if you cross Dracula and Sir Lancelot?
A. A Bite in Shining Armor!

Q. Why did the vampire act so batty?
A. It was in his blood.

Q. How does a zen vampire decorate his coffin?
A. He uses basic Fang Shui principles.

Q. Why are vampires always so impulsive?
A. 'Cause they never reflect on things.

Q. What do you get if you cross a duck and a vampire? A. Count Quackula!Q. What is the most dangerous job in transylvania? A. Vampire's Dentist!Q. What does a vampire never order at a restaurant? A. A Stake Sandwich!

Q. Why don't vampires like mosquitoes?
A. Vampires hate all the petty winged competitors.

Q. Why don't vampires bother dairy cattle?
A. Because they just cownt.

Q. Why did the vampire always keep his fangs so clean?
A. To prevent bat breath!

Q. Why didn't the vampire ever marry?
A. He was a confirmed bat-chelor.

Q. What is a vampire's favorite kind of candy?
A. Suckers.

Q. How many vampires does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. It depends if you Count Dracula.

Q. What is a vampire's favorite game? A. Batminton!Q. What do you call Dracula's car? A. A mobile blood unit!Q. Why couldn't Dracua's wife get to sleep? A. Because of his coffin!

Bloody Funny Groan of the Day: A guy was arrested by the police and charged for killing a number of vampires. They've got him on three counts.

Q. Why do people hate being bitten by vampires so much?
A. Because it's a real vein in the neck!

Two nuns were driving down the road when a vampire jumped out in front of them. One nun say, "Quickly, show him your cross!" The second nun rolls down the window and yells, "Get out of the road, you dumb jerk!"

Q. How does a vampire describe an arctic graveyard?
A. Bloody Chilling.

Q. What did the young vampire's math teacher say to his parents?
A. Dracula cannot Count.

Q. Why was the snarky teenage prince vampire kicked out of the house?
A. Because he was a royal pain in the neck.

Q. What happened when two vampires met? A. Love At First Bite!Q. Where do tourist vampires visit when in New York City? A. Vampire State BuildingQ. What do you call a vampire who lives in the kitchen? A. Count Spatula!

Q. Where do British vampires go to vacation?
A. The Isle of Fright!

Q. What does a vampire stand on after taking a shower?
A. A bat mat.

Q. What do you call a monster that sucks all the jelly out of doughnuts?
A. A Jampire!

| Vampire Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Vampire Arts | Bloody Funny | 2 | Friday the 13th Humor |
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