Q. What do ghouls eat for supper? A. Spook-etti!   PainfulPuns.com - Frightful Puns, Scary Jokes, Deadly LOL!

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Q. What do you call a cleaning ghoul? A. The Grim Sweeper!
Q. What are a ghoul's favorite rides at the amusement park? A. The scary-go-round and roller ghoster!
Q. why are ghosts so bad at lying? A. Because you can see right through them!
Q. What is a ghoul's favorite game on Halloween? A. Hide-and-ghost-seek!
What is the scariest day of the week? Boos Day!

 


Spooky Puns, Haunted House Humor, Spirited Jokes
Tour scary haunted mansion jokes, ghostly laughs, frightful haunt humor and possessed puns.

Haunted House Jokes and Horror Mansion Humor
(Because Paranormal Puns and Spooky Jokes Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream In A Haunted House On Halloween!)
Warning: Proceed at Your Own Risk! Ghostly jokes, creepy haunted house humor, and paranormal puns ahead.
| Haunted House Humor | Tasty Cannibal Jokes | Deadly Cemetery Jokes | Werewolf Jokes |

|
Haunted Halloween Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Funny Halloween Treats | Halloween Music Jokes |
| Ghost Jokes | Monster Jokes | 2 | 3 | Mummy Puns | Skeleton Jokes | 2 | Scary Witch Humor |

| Scary Animal Jokes | Bigfoot Sightings | 2 | Undead Puns and Zombie Jokes | Brain Puns | 2 |
| Vampire Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Vampire Arts | Bloody Funny | 2 | Friday the 13th Humor |

| Scary Funny Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | Scary Pick-Up Lines |

Q. Which streets do ghosts haunt? A. Dead ends!Q. Why did the police ticket the ghost on Halloween? A. It didn't have a haunting license!Q. What kind of pants do ghosts wear? A. Boo Jeans!

Q. What happened to the standup comedian who performed at the haunted house?
A. He got booed off stage.

Q. Why was the video gamer's house haunted by Nintendo characters?
A. Because he fooled around with a Luigi Board.

Q. Why didn’t the guy have to take Viagra after visiting the haunted house?
A. 'Cause he was already scared stiff!

Q. Which kind of key does a locksmith use in a haunted house?
A. The skeleton key!

Q. How can you tell if a French restaurant is haunted?
A. It gives you the crepes.

Q. Why are the toilets in amusement park haunted houses six inches higher than normal?
A. Because they want to keep visitors on their toes.

Q. Why did the guy turn down the chance to buy two haunted houses to turn into rental units?
A. 'Cause he did not want to be the lessor of two evils.

Scary Wise Words of the Day: When one door closes and another one opens, your house is definitely haunted. So, run like hell!

Q. What did the baker say when a psychic told him the spirit of an old Italian chef is haunting his house?
A. I'm not worried because I cannoli do so much.

Q. Why was the haunted mansion self-conscious?
A. Because it got so many creepy stairs.

Q. Are all liquor stores haunted?
A. Yes, they are all full of spirits.

Q. What happened after the dancer was killed at the stripper bar?
A. Now the place is haunted with en-tities.

Q. What song lyrics played in haunted houses in the 1970s?
A. At first I was afraid, I was petrified.

Q. What did the owner say when a psychic told him the spirit of an old Italian chef is haunting his restaurant?
A. No prolem. I ain’t alfredo no ghost.

Q. why dod ghosts have to hurry while spooking people? A. Haste not, haunt not!Q. Which room doesn't a ghost need? A. The living room!Q. What goes around a haunted ouse and never stops? A. A fence!

Q. What happened when the ghost of Leonardo Da Vinci visited that guy's mansion on Halloween?
A. He had an art attack!

Q. Which movie was about a typical family haunted by a turkey?
A. Poultrygeist.

Haunted Fact of the Day: When you are a ghost, you only need 24 letters of the alphabet because nobody can C U.

Q. What do you call a creepy pervert in a haunted house?
A. A peek-a-boo!

Q. Where was the guy when he saw a horde of pale, emaciated figures with haunted eyes that shows the agony of living death?
A. At a vegan restaurant.

Q. How can you tell if a French restaurant is haunted?
A. It gives you the crepes.

Q. How does an aspiring ghost get into a haunted drama school?
A. By acting supernatural.

Q. What do you call an accordian that's possessed by a Native American ghost?
A. Polka Haunt Us.

Q. What kind of wood are the scariest haunted structures made from?
A. BamBOO!

Q. What did Stalin use to build his haunted house?
A. Ghoul-logs.

Q. Who is haunting the KFC near Littleton Cemetery?
A. The psychic on Main St. believes it's a poultry-guess.

Q. Which porno series continuously runs in the haunted bawdy house?
A. Ghouls Gone Wild.

Motto of the Ghoul's Convention: The Morgue, the MerrierZombie Humor: If you don't pay your exorcist, will you get repossed?Q. Which ghoul is the best dancer? A. The boogie man!

Q. Where is the best place to begin the fight against terror?
A. Start at the haunted houses!

Haunting Thought of the Day: If you think the 13th floor is scary, stay away from basement level 666!

Q. Where in the hell does one shop for sheets for a haunted tourist hotel?
A. At a boo-tique.

Q. Which haunting day of the week do ghosts look forward to?
A. MoanDay.

Q. What do you call a haunted house in Denver with a ghost who can't make the mortgage payments?
A. Repossessed.

TV News Reporter: Where is the best place to begin the fight against terror?
Blonde Realtor: Haunted houses. Duh!

Q. What haunting footwear do stylish cowboy ghosts wear?
A. BOOOts.

Q. How much did the psychic know about the spirits inhabiting the haunted house?
A. A medium amount of information.

Q. What did the forensic scientist name as the cause of the haunted harpsichord player's death?
A. Bad Bach Pain.

Q. What kind of facial hair does the hipster ghost at the haunted house have?
A. A soul patch.

Scariest Pick-Up Line Ever: Bae, are you a haunted house? 'Cause I am going to scream when I come inside you.

Q. Why do some people hate haunted house jokes about ghosts?
A. Because they have no substance.

Q. What do ghosts use to wash their hair? A. Sham-boo!Q. What kind of dessert does a ghoul like? A. Ice scream!Q. Why couldn't the ghost see its mom and dad? A. They were trans-parents!

Q. Why didn't 4 enter the haunted house on Halloween?
A. Because it was 2 squared.

Q. What do you call a haunted prison in Russia?
A. Ghoulag.

Q. Why was the zombie conductor late to the haunted house concert?
A. He drove over something sharp and got a flat tire.

Q. What do ghosts use to open locked doors to get into a haunted house?
A. If they can't just walk through it, they’ll use a spook-key.

Q. What did the cheerleader say to the other visitors to the haunted house?
A. Show me your spirit!

Q. What do you call haunted yogurt?
A. Paranormal Activia.

Q. Why did the French chef get fired from the haunted restaurant?
A. Because he gave the diners the crepes.

Q. Who is haunting the KFC near Littleton Cemetery?
A. Colorado locals know it's actually cannibal Alferd Packer because he just doesn’t have a taste for chicken meat.

Q. What do you call it when two friendly ghosts are playing together in a haunted house?
A. Pair of normal activity.

Q. Why did the guy in the ghost costume get kicked out of the Halloween party at the haunted house?
A. Because he was sheet-faced!

Q. What should you wear to a truly scary haunted house?
A. Depends. Not a joke – Wear Depends!

Q. What happened when a penny and a nickel got fused together and haunted?
A. The new coin had the sixth cents.

Q. What does a ghost use to make calls in a haunted house?
A. A Terror-Phone!

Q. What do you call a robbery at a haunted house?
A. A polterheist.

Q. What do you call it when a ghost hauntingly speaks to you twice?
A. Deja Boo.

Q. How do you discipline a ghost?
A. With corporeal punishment.

| Haunted House Humor | Tasty Cannibal Jokes | Deadly Cemetery Jokes | Werewolf Jokes |
| Scary Funny Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | Scary Pick-Up Lines |
| Haunted Halloween Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Funny Halloween Treats | Halloween Music Jokes |
| Ghost Jokes | Monster Jokes | 2 | 3 | Mummy Puns | Skeleton Jokes | 2 | Scary Witch Humor |
| Scary Animal Jokes | Bigfoot Sightings | 2 | Undead Puns and Zombie Jokes | Brain Puns | 2 |
| Vampire Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Vampire Arts | Bloody Funny | 2 | Friday the 13th Humor |
| Holiday Party Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | Daily Jokes | Old Never Die Jokes | Chilling Winter Humor |


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