What happened to the standup comedian who performed at the
A. He got booed off stage.
Why was the video gamer's house haunted by Nintendo characters?
A. Because he fooled around with a Luigi Board.
Why didn’t the guy have to take Viagra after visiting
the haunted house?
A. 'Cause he was already scared stiff!
Which kind of key does a locksmith use in a haunted house?
A. The skeleton key!
How can you tell if a French restaurant is haunted?
A. It gives you the crepes.
Why are the toilets in amusement park haunted houses six
inches higher than normal?
A. Because they want to keep visitors on their toes.
Why did the guy turn down the chance to buy two haunted
houses to turn into rental units?
A. 'Cause he did not want to be the lessor of two evils.
Wise Words of the Day: When one door closes and another
one opens, your house is definitely haunted. So, run
What did the baker say when a psychic told him the spirit
of an old Italian chef is haunting his house?
A. I'm not worried because I cannoli do so much.
Q. Why was the haunted mansion self-conscious?
A. Because it got so many creepy stairs.
Are all liquor stores haunted?
A. Yes, they are all full of spirits.
What happened after the dancer was killed at the stripper
A. Now the place is haunted with en-tities.
What song lyrics played in haunted houses in the 1970s?
A. At first I was afraid, I was petrified.
What did the owner say when a psychic told him the spirit
of an old Italian chef is haunting his restaurant?
A. No prolem. I ain’t alfredo no ghost.