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Q. What did Alfred say when young Bruce Wayne got into trouble? A. You're a bat boy!
Q. What is a vampire's favorite game? A. Batminton!

Q. Why did Bruce's dentist give him mouthwash? A. He had bat breath!


Batty Jokes, Chiroptera Humor, Bat Puns
Heads up for bloody funny bat jokes, hand wing humor, biting wit and batty puns that literally suck!

Bat Jokes, Biting Puns, Blood-Sucking Humor
(Because Chiroptera Jokes and Rabid Bat Puns Could Never Be TOO Mainstream When You're Lost In a Cave!)
Warning: Proceed with Caution! Rabid bat jokes, fanged humor, cave mammal LOLs and puns that bite ahead.
| Bat Jokes | Owl Jokes, Owl-ful Puns | Hiss-terical Snake Puns | Kangaroo Jokes | Spider Jokes |
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Q. What do you get if you cross a bat with a lonely hearts club? A. A lot of blind dates.

Q. What
is the best
way to
hold a bat?

A. By
its handle.

Q. How can you tell a vampire likes baseball? A. Every night he turns into a bat!

Q. What do you get if you cross a vampire bat with a computer dating site?
A. Love at first byte.

Q. Why did the vampire bats go into a cave?
A. To hang out.

Q. What happened when wild bats were biting so many people?
A. The problem was rabidly accelerating.

Q. How are bats and real estate agents alike?
A. Both echo location, location, location.

A bat flies into a bar and asks for another drink. Bartender says, "There must be an echo in here."

Q. What do you call a crazy cave dweller?
A. Totally batty.

Q. Which mammals make the best baseball team mascots?
A. Bats.

Q. Why are there so many baseball night games?
A. 'Cause the bats are asleep during the day.

Q. What happened after some cub scouts found a bat in a cave?
A. They decided to play baseball.

Q. Why did the witch's baseball team lose the big game?
A. 'Cause all their bats flew away.

Q. Where do bats perfect their baseball skills?
A. At the batting cages.

Q. What did the bat say to the vampire?
A. You suck.

Q. What is a group of cave-dwelling mammals that can power things called?
A. A bat-array.

Q. Why did it take so long for baseball to make a comeback during the COVID-19 pandemic?
A. 'Cause it took so long to test all the bats.

Q. Why don't they play cricket in China?
A. 'Cause somebody would eat the bat.

Q. What is a bat's favorite court sport?
A. Batminton.

Q. Which sport are vampire bats best at?
A. Casketball.

Q. What happened
when two
bats met?

A. It was love
at first bite.

Q. What is Bruce Wayne's favorite day of the week? A. Baturday!

Q. Why didn't
the vampire
ever marry?

A. He was a

Q. How do single lady bats flirt?
A. They bat their eyes.

Q. What do you say to newlywed vampire bats?
A. Coagulations!

Q. What did the rabid bat say after biting his victim?
A. Nice gnawing you.

Q. What do cave dwellers say when their buddies come home again?
A. Welcome bat!

Q. What did the baby rat say when it saw a bat for the first time?
A. Look Mommy, it's an angel.

Q. What do hard working bats do over the weekend?
A. They just hang out.

Q. In China, what does the bat signal mean?
A. Dinner is ready.

Q. Why does Bruce Wayne like all these painful puns?
A. Because they're so batty!

Q. How did Catwoman contract COVID-19 from Bruce Wayne?
A. She ate Bat meat.

Q. What flies around the Kindergarten classroom on Halloween?
A. The alpha-bat.

Q. Why don't people like vampires?
A. They generally have a very bat temper.

Q. What happens when you cross a bat with the Internet?
A. You get a blood-thirsty hacker.

Q. When a bat dies, what is the newspaper announcement called?
A. An obatuary.

Q. Who wrote the eerie tell-all book about vampire bats?
A. Some ghost writer.

Q. What do you call it when a bratty teenage bat mouths off?
A. Battitude.

Q. Did you hear about the vampir who was locked up in an asylum? A. He Went Bats!

Q. Why did
the vampire
poet fail?

A. 'Cause he went from
bat to verse.

Bat Humor: Speaking ill of the dead is a grave mistake

Q. What does Count Dracula's crypt torch run on?
A. Bat-teries!

Q. Why did the vampire always keep his fangs so clean?
A. To prevent bat breath!

Q. What do you get when you cross an ice cube with a vampire bat?
A. Frostbite.

Q. Where do vampire bats keep their life savings?
A. At the blood bank.

Q. Which flying circus peformers can see in the dark?
A. Acro-bats.

Q. How do you describe the new solar-powered car company with their factory in a cave?
A. A wheely bat idea.

Q. What is a bat in a bellfry called?
A. A ding bat.

Q. What happened when two bats met for a quick lunch?
A. It was love at first bite.

Q. What does a mother bat say when her twins acts up?
A. You are bat, bat boys.

Q. What do you call a lunatic mammal in a cave?
A. A dingbat.

Q. What do bats have to say about COVID-19?
A. Now you know what it's like to have your world turned upsidedown.

COVID-19 Fact of the Day: All countries of the world will eventually be infected with Corona Virus, but China got it right off the bat.

Q. Why should China have a national championship baseball team?
A. 'Cause they could easily eliminate everybody else with just one bat.

Q. Why are dyslexic people in China no longer allowed to use the Internet?
A. 'Cause they get a virus every time they open a bat.

Q. Why did Batman's date go so badly? A. Hw had bat breath!
Q. Why did Batman go into the men's room? A. H guano do his duty!
Q. Why did the vampire need mouth wash? A. Because he had bat breath!

Q. Why do vampire bats drink blood all evening long?
A. 'Cause coffee keeps them awake all day.

Q. What do bats like for dessert?
A. A bite of flies cream.

Q. Which type of venues do bats avoid?
A. Flea markets and food marketplaces in China.

Q. How do you make a good bat stew?
A. Keep it waiting.

Q. What do scary bats like to eat for dessert?
A. I Scream!

Q. What does a vampire chef use to bake cakes and cookies?
A. Batter.

Two bats were just hanging out when one asks the other, "Do you remember your worst day last year?" Second bat replies, "Yeah, the day I had diarrhea."

Sick Groan of the Decade: COVID-19 started with a bat. Then the stay-at-home orders caused a toilet paper shortage that led to people going bat shit crazy.

Q. Where do bats shower and shave?
A. In the bat-room.

Q. How do bats predict their future?
A. They read their horror-scope.

Q. What do you get when you cross a cow with a bat?
A. A Big Mac that bites back.

Q. How are bats and dentures alike?
A. Both only come out at night.

Q. Which kind of cave mammals swing upsidedown?
A. Actrobats.

Q. What's the very first thing little bats learn in schoo?
A. The alpha-bat.

Q. How do little bats carry their books and school supplies around?
A. In a bat pack.

Q. Why do bats make great stunt pilots?
A. 'Cause they're great at aerobatics.

Q. Why do vampires brush and floss their teeth so often?
A. So they won't have bat breath!

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PainfulPuns Home
You've spelunked this far, so here's even more bloody funny humor,
echoed jokes, and batty painful puns that don't suck as bad as COVID-19:

More Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...

| Baseball Jokes | Batman Jokes | Beer Jokes | Blood Jokes | Cemetery Jokes | Colorado Jokes | Dating Jokes |
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| Psychic Jokes | Sci-Fi Jokes | Seasonal Humor | Sports Jokes | Vampire Jokes | Travel Jokes | Weather Jokes |

Frightful Puns, Scary JokesBartender Puns, Bar HumorOld Jokes & Old Never Die Puns
Monstrously Funny PunsCrappy Puns & Sh*tty Jokes! Pot Puns, Weed Jokes, Green Grow-ners!

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