Q. Which magazine does the big bad wolf read? A. Porks Illustrated!   PainfulPuns.com - Animal Puns, Wildlie Humor, Beary Funny Jokes!

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Q. Which
fall holiday
do wolves
talk about all
year long?


Wolf Says: Fine print is usually a clause of suspicion!

Q. What is
the most
common male
wolf name?

A. Lair-y.

Wolf Says: Welcome to Colorado's High Country! Dogs Welcomed!
Wolf asks: What is Colorado's state slogan? A. Welcom to the high country!
Cannabis Trivia? Sinatra's ad-libbed closing "Dooby-Dooby-Doo" gave the creator of cartoon dog Scooby-Doo the inspiration for his name!

Wolf Puns, Full Moon Humor, Gray Area Jokes
Howl along with arctic wolf puns, werewolf humor, Wolverine jokes, lobo LOLs and funny wolves.

Lone Wolf Jokes, Howling Humor, Wolves Puns
(Because Howling Wolf Jokes and Werewolf Puns Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream or Too Aware During a Full Moon!)
Warning: Proceed with Caution! Hairy jokes, fur-ocious laughs, werewolf humor and bayer-ly funny puns ahead.
| Wolf Jokes | 2 | 3 | Werewolf Jokes | Fox Puns | Buffalo and Bison Jokes | Forest Critter Puns |
| Bear Joke and Bruin Puns | Panda Bear Jokes | Polar Bear Jokes | Deer Jokes | Colorado Wildlife |
| Bigfoot Jokes | Sasquatch Jokes | Colorado Bigfoot Jokes | Gorilla Jokes and Big Ape Puns |

Wolf says: You might be from Colorado if you always dress in lairs!
Being unable to get help with refinancing made me a loan wolf!
Wolf says: You might be from Colorado if you know the "Mile High Club" has nothing to do with Denver!

Q. Why are gray wolves considered quick-witted?
A. Because they always joke along with snappy comebacks.

Q. How did the lone wolf's standup comedy show go?
A. He kept the audience howling all night.

Q. How do you make a dire wolf laugh?
A. Tell him some Painful Puns, then give him a funny bone.

Pick-Up a Big Bad Wolf Line: Hey Fang, is that your tail between your paws, or are you just happy to see me?

Q. Wanna hear a wolf scat joke?
A. Never mind. It really stinks.

Alpha Male Wolf Pick-Up Line: Hey girl, don't make me beg for it like a dog!

Q. What did the loan wolf's receptionist say?
A. Howl may I help you?

Q. What do you call a rep at a predatory refi company?
A. A loan wolf.

Q. Which pain reliever brand do wolves prefer alter howling too long?
A. Bayer.

Q. Where do male wolves like to hang out with the guys?
A. In the den.

Q. What do you call a bunch of werewolves standing in a row outside your office?
A. A deadline.

Q. Which day of the week do wolves really eat up?
A. Chews-Day.

Q. What do you call a large wild canine that meditates on top of Quandary Peak in Colorado?
A. Aware Wolf.

Q. Which USA state has the happiest gray wolf population?
A. Howl-o-rado.

Q. When does a gray wolf go to bed early?
A. When he's was dog tired!

Wolf Hookp Line: Howl you doin' hottie! I'm just here looking for a little tail.

Q. What is it called when a baby wolf is learning to howl?
A. Coming into baying.

Wolf Chat Up Line: Hey bitch, I'll be waiting near my lair, just in case you're looking for an alpha male.

Q. Which is an
arctic wolf's favorite day of
the week?

A. Blue

Stoner Wolf Says: Welcome to Colorful Colorado! Hey, GREEN is a color, too!

Q. How does
a gregarious
wolf greet his

A. Howl you

Q. What do you get if you cross the Abominable Snowman with an arctic wolf?
A. Frostbite!

Q. What do you call a hairy beast in a raincoat?
A. An outre wear-wolf.

Q. Which North American canines caught a ride on Noah's boat?
A. Ark-tic wolves.

Q. Why didn't the werewolf guy go to the big dance?
A. He wanted to, but the full moon gave him paws...

Q. Why does Jupiter have such a bothersome werewolf problem?
A. Because there are at least 67 moons there.

Pick-Up a He-Wolf Line: Hey big guy, is it warm out here, or are am I in heat?

Q. What do the Irish call a fat werewolf?
A. O'Beast.

Q. What do you call a wolf that doesn't know he's a werewolf?
A. An unaware wolf.

Q. What happened to the wolf that fell into a washing machine?
A. He became a wash-and-wear-wolf.

Q. Which kind of primates do wolves really relate to?
A. Howler Monkeys.

Q. What do you get when you cross a sheep with a wolf?
A. A woolf.

Q. Who teaches wolf pups how to tie knots and all about doing good deeds?
A. The den mother.

Did you hear about the new book, Reintroducing Gray Wolves to Southwestern Colorado? It's a pup-up book.

Q. What's the second most common male wolf name?
A. Hairy.

Q. Where are the best wolf horror movies produced?
A. Howly-Wood.

Q. Where could you find wolves on the starship Enterprise NcC-1701-D?
A. On the howl-o-deck.

Q. Which cunning wolf could escape any trap?
A. Hairy Howldini.

Q. Whick '90s TV show do lone wolves like to binge watch?
A. Bay Watch.

Q. Which kind of wolf is a mere projection of light?
A. A howl-o-gram.

Q. Which musical instrument do wolves enjoy the most?
A. The trombone.

Q. What's a she-wolf's pet name for her mate?
A. Fang.

Did you hear about the frugal barber? He opened a shavings account!

Q. Why were
wolves mad
at Batman?

A. 'Cause the
Bat Signal
was blocking
the full moon.

You might be from Colorado if you've gone off-roading in a vehicle that wasn't intended for tht activity!

Q. Which army is comprised souly of wolves?
A. The Fur-eign Legion.

Q. Where does a wolf get a new tail?
A. At a retail store.

Q. What does one lone wolf bro say to another?
A. Howl's it goin'?

Q. What do you call a big hairy beast that's lost in the forest?
A. A where-wolf.

Q. Why did the old gray wolf call his dentist?
A. 'Cause his canines were loose!

Q. Which retro band do wolves still listen to?
A. Los Lobos.

Q. Which historical realm had a werewolf army?
A. The Howly Roman Empire.

Q. How does a werewolf sign letters?
A. Best Vicious!

Q. What did the werewolf eat shortly after having his teeth cleaned?
A. The dentist.

Q. Which superhero is Lobo's favorite?
A. Wolverine.

Q. Why shouldn't you make a legal agreement with Wolverine?
A. Because of his retractable clause.

Q. What happened after Wolverine had a sex change operation?
A. Now he's an Ex-Man.

Q. What did Storm say when she saw Wolverine chopping wood?
A. That's a huge axe, man!

Q. How do you know Wolverine in the X-Men movies is real?
A. Because he's a huge act, man!

Q. Which song do Batman and Robin listen to while in hot pursuit in the Batmobile?
A. Gotham Burns by We Are Wolf.

Q. Why was Wolverine fired from the law firm?
A. Because he didn't read the contract's claws.

Wolverine Point to Ponder: If Wolverine can cut off his dick and it'll just grow back, does that mean he'll never be an Ex-man?

Q. Which scary, hairy monster lives by the local dam?
A. The Weir Wolf.

Q. Which kind of car does a fast wolf drive up on his way from Steamboat Springs to Glenwood Springs?
A. A Furrari!

Q. Which day of the week makes wolves howl?
A. MoonDay.

Gray Wolf Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, I need a place to bury my bone. Mind helping me out?

Q. Where do wolves go onine to hookup with dates over 50 (iin dog years)?
A. Howl Time.

Coloradan: I think I'm turning into a wolf.
Shrink: How long have you felt that way?
Native Coloradan: Ever since I first left my lair.

Q. What do mother wolves in France say when they bring dinner home for the pups?
A. Bone Appetit!.

Wolfish Pick-Up Line: Woo baby, howl you doin'?

Q. Which era do pothead fossil hounds dig most? A. The Stone Age!
Eddy Munster Says: Mommy, everybody says I look like a werewolf? Oh, sit down and comb your face!
Q. Why is Colorado's nickname the High Country? A. Peak Scenery, Bud!

Q. Why did the werewolf chase after the skeleton?
A. 'Cause he had a bone to pick with him.

Q. Why did the guy need aspirin after he heard a werewolf howling?
A. Because he got an eerie ache.

Q. Why didn't the werewolf cross the road?
A. Because he wasn't a there-wolf.

Q. How do you make a werewolf stew?
A. Give him some weed and leave him waiting for the munchies until the full moon.

Q. What do you call a lost werewolf that's dressed as a Wookiee on Halloween?
A. Wear-wolf where-wolf.

Q. Why do werewolves howl at the moon?
A. If you stop to ask that dumb question, you are a goner!

Q. How do you know a werewolf is in your neck of the woods?
A. A little old lady got mutilated last night.

Q. Which classic rock musician is immune to werewolf attack?
A. Warren Zevon.

Q. Why did the gray wolf learn to meditate?
A. To become an aware-wolf.

Q. What did the werewolf YouTuber ask his viewers to do?
A. Lycan subscribe.

Q. What do you tell a young werewolf at bedtime?
A. A hairy tale.

Q. What do you call a sleeping werewolf?
A. Unaware-wolf.

Q. How is the guy who was bitten by a werewolf doing now?
A. He's lycan it so far.

Q. Why do werewolves make great fiction writers?
A. Because they always have a frightening tail to tell.

Q. Which werewolf had the best makeup and hairstyling in 1981?
A. An American Werewolf in London.

Q. Why did Londoners suspect the werewolf did it?
A. 'Cause he's the hairy-handed gent who ran amuck in Kent.

Q. Which horror movie was about werewolves that come out at night and tow away everybody's cars?
A. The Hauling.

Q. What do skeptics get when questioning the existence of the werewolf?
A. Who-wolf, what-wolf, when-wolf, how-wolf and why-wolf.

Q. What did the witch conjur up when she crossed a werewolf and a sheep?
A. A were-wool.

Hairy Scary Pick-Up Line: Dang girl, are you a werewolf? 'Cause I'm lycan what I see.

Q. How did the London bobbies know the werewolf did it?
A. He was seen drinking a pina colada at Trader Vic's.

Q. What happened after Chuck Norris was bitten by a werewolf?
A. When the full moon came, the werewolf morphed into Chuck Norris!

Q. What happened when the witch crossed a werewolf and a frog?
A. She conjured a beast that can bite you from the other side of the road.

Q. When do werewolf pups go trick or treating?
A. On Howl-O-Ween.

Q. How does a werewolf sign his Christmas cards?
A. Best vicious this season.

| Wolf Jokes | 2 | 3 | Werewolf Jokes | Fox Puns | Mouse, Rat Puns | Rabbit Jokes | Yak Jokes | 2 |
| Buffalo and Bison Jokes | 2 | Bear Jokes | 2 | 3 | Panda Puns | Polar Bear Jokes | Deer Jokes | 2 |
| Forest Critter Puns | Bat Jokes | Owl Jokes, Owl-ful Puns | Animal Poop Puns | Sea Mammals |
| Gorilla Jokes, Big Ape Puns | 2 | 3 | Bigfoot Jokes | Sasquatch Jokes | Colorado Bigfoot Jokes |
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| Lizard Laughs | Crocodile Jokes, Gator Puns | Turtle Jokes, Tortoise Puns | 2 | 3 | Reptile Humor |
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