Q What do you get if you cross a turtle and a porcupine? A. A Slow Poke!   PainfulPuns.com - Animal Puns, Wildlie Humor, Beary Funny Jokes!

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Gnirl, you must be a beaver? 'Cause Daaaaaaam!
Q. What Did the Judge Say When a Skunk Walked In to Testify? A. Odor in the Court!

Q. What do
Coloradans call
the rodent that
got into the
skunk weed?

A. Rocky, the
flying squirrel.

Animal Pun: The rodent club finished drafting a constitution, but it has yet to be ratified.

Q. What do hungry
beavers like
snack on?

A. Tree-ts.


Forest Critter Jokes, Beaver LOLs, Porcupine Puns
Go wild over sharp poke you puns, dammed beaver humor, and stinking funny skunk jokes.

Porcupine Jokes, Skunk Puns, Squirrel Humor
('Cause Scent-i-mental Skunk Jokes and Poke Yew Pine Puns Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream Out In the Skunk Weed!)
Warning: Proceed Carefully! Pork ewe pine jokes, nutty squirrel humor, quill LOLs and rocky raccoon puns ahead.
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Q. How much money does a skunk have? A. One Cent!
Q. What do you get if a donkey eats a porcupine? A. A pain in the ass!
Q. What do you call a masked animal that's a skilled storyteller? A. A raccoon-teur.

Q. Why can't skunks keep a secret?
A. Because somebody is always catching wind of them.

Q. How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?
A. A Phew!

Q. What does a religious skunk say?
A. Let us spray!

Q. Which southwestern city has the worst skunk problem?
A. Scenta Spray, New Mexico.

Q. What do you get when you cross a porcupine with a really sharp punch line?
A. A poke you pun.

Q. What does the Italian chef call his new creation made with pork, lamb, and pasta?
A. Pork ewe penne.

Q. What do yu call the discomfort caused by porcupine quills?
A. Poke you pain.

Q. What do you get if you cross a skunk with a porcupine?
A. A porc-pew-pine.

Q. What do raccoons in Niwot, Colorado do after they've raided the henhouse?
A. They enjoyed their poached eggs.

Q. What did the raccoon say when he was falsely accused by the dam cops?
A. Hey, it was the otter guy!

Q. Which wins at Scrabble, raccoon or squirrel?
A. Squirrel, 'cause there's a Q in it!

Q. Why don't raccoons catch COVID 19?
A. 'Cause they always wash their hands and wear a mask.

Q. What sound do porcupines make when they kiss? A. OUCH!
Q. How many squirrels does it take to change a light bulb? A. None. Squirrels only change bulbs that are nut broken!
Q. Why is it so easy to get away from porcupines? A. Because they're slow pokesQ

Q. Why wouln't the porcupine were a tuxedo?
A. 'Cause he was already sharply dressed.

Q. Which kind of porcupine has the longest quills?
A. The porcu-spike.

Q. What do you call a cheerful and lively porcupine?
A. Perky pine.

Q. What do you get when you cross a pigeon with a porcupine?
A. A por-coo-pine.

Q. Why don't backyard squirrels have very many friends?
A. Because they drive everybody nuts.

Q. How do you catch a squirrel?
A. Just climb up a tree and act like a nut.

Q. Why did a squirrel swim across the stream on his back?
A. He wanted to keep his nuts dry.

Q. Why did a squirrel disassemble the classic car?
A. To get to the nuts and bolts.

Q. What do you get if you cross a quilled mammal with an actor?
A. A por-cue-pine.

Q. What's the difference between a porcupine and a Lexus full of lawyers? A. The pricks are on the outside of the porcupine.

Q. What do you call an adorable baby quilled mammal?
A. Por-cute-pine.

Q. What do you call an unhip dufus porcupine?
A. Dorky pine.

Q. What do you get if you cross a pig and a cactus? A. A Porky Pine!
Q. How do skunks always manage to hit their targets? A. They have keen in-stinks!
Q. What does a dinosaur call a porcupine? A. Toothbrush!

Q. What do you get if you cross a wild pig and a porcupine?
A. A boar-cupine.

Q. What do you get when you cross a lion with a porcupine?
A. Roar-cupine.

Q. What do veterinarians call porcupine vomit?
A. Porcu-puke.

Q. What do you get if you cross a quilld rodent with a cactus?
A. A prickly pear-cupine.

Q. How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?
A. A phew!

Q. Why were all the forest critters laughing?
A. 'Cause they found the patch of skunk weed planted in the meadow.

Q. What do you get when you cross a Star Wars bot and a skunk?
A. R2-PU.

Q. What do you get if you cross a skunk and a hummingbird?
A. A smellicopter!

Q. What do uou call an overweight quill-covered rodent?
A. Porky-pine.

Q. What do you call a really slow porcupine?
A. Pokey-pine.

Q. Which animal was the distant amcestor of the porcupine?
A. The saur-cupine.

Q. What do you get when you have a run in with a porcupine?
A. Prick you pine.

Q. Did you hear about the nearsighted porcupine?? A. He fell in love with a pin cushion!
Q. What does a squirrel give his love on Valentine's Day? A. Forget-me-nuts!
Q. Why do skunks celebrate Valentine's Day? A. Because they're scent-imental!

Q. What do you get if you cross a chicken with a porcupine?
A. Peck you pine.

Q. What do you get if you cross a porcupine with a fork and a spoon?
A. A spork-upine.

Q. Which quill-civered rodent works part time as a bartender?
A. The pour-cupine.

Q. What do you say to a bratty tween porcupine?
A. Porc you, punk.

Q. What do you get if you cross a spider and a tree squirrel?
A. A pest that runs up your leg to eat your nuts!

Q. What do prairie dogs do after they eat?
A. Gopher a walk.

Backyard Fauna Come-On: Hey baby, I wish you and I were squirrels, so I could bust a nut in your hole.

Q. Why was the squirrel in Denver's Wash Park so stressed out?
A. Because he spent so much time out on a limb.

Q. Why didn't the skunk call home?
A. His phone was out of odor!

Q. What did the bear brew chemist get when he crossed a skunk and a beer?
A. Winnie the Pee-Yoo.

Q. What is the name of the all-skunk boy band?
A. The Back Streak Boys.

A skunk ambles into the corner bar in downtown Littleton and asks, "Hey, where did everybody go?"

Q. What do you get if you cross a bell and a skunk? A. Jingle Smells!
Stinking Funny Pun: Q. What did the judge say when skunks walked into court? A. Good morning, lawyers.
Q What did the beaver say to the Christmas tree? A. Nice gnawing you!

Q. Why don't skunks ever go Christmas caroling?
A. Because their singing really stinks.

Q. How much money does a typical skunk need?
A. Just one scent.

Q. Why are skunks so clever?
A. Because they have natural in-stinks!

Q. Which smells worse, a skunk or a stinkbug?
A. Yes!

Q. What weather phenomena causes a skunky odor to spread eastward off the Pacific Ocean?
A. Scenta Ana winds.

Q. Why do skunks wine and dine their sweeties on Valentine's Day?
A. Because they're very scentimental.

Bar none, this Painful animal Pun is one very stinky skunk joke. Guilty as charged.

Q. What's the difference between a dead skunk on the road and a dead lawyer on the road?
A. There are skid marks in front of the skunk.

q. What do you get if you cross a skunk and a mink?
A A really big stink from PETA.

Q. Which scary skunk lives in a laboratory in Transylvania?
A. Stankenstein.

Q. Have you heard the latest skunk joke?
A. It's a real stinker.

q. What do rodents call dam poetry?
A. B verse.

Q. What did the bartender say after the beaver walked into his South Platte River bar?
A. Please shut the dam door!

Q. How many animals can fit into a pair of pantyhose?
A. Ten little piggies, two calves, one ass, one beaver and several thousand hares.

Q. Where will you find the most female skinny dippers in Colorado?
A. Beaver Creek.

Q. What's even worse than a sick gopher on your piano?
A. A diseased beaver on your organ!

Q. Why did that Vail area beaver go to jail?
A. He held up the dammed riverbank.

Old beavers never die, they just don't give a dam.

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