|
|
Bear
Jokes, Bruin Puns, Ursidae Humor
Climb
on down for high koala-ty puns, bear naked humor, grizzly LOLs
and Amanda panda jokes.
Koala Jokes, Bear Puns, Panda Humor
(Because Panda Envy Jokes and
Un-Koala-fied Puns Could Never Be TOO Mainstream,
at the Bear Minimum!) |
Warning:
Proceed with Caution! Gummy Bear jokes, unbearable humor, pina koala
LOLs and PU Bear puns ahead.
| Bear Jokes | 2
| 3 | Panda
Bear Jokes | Polar Bear Jokes
| Deer Jokes | Colorado
Wildlife |
| Bigfoot Jokes | Sasquatch
Jokes | Colorado Bigfoot Jokes
| Gorilla Jokes and Big Ape Puns
|
| Buffalo and Bison Jokes | Wolf
Jokes | Fox Puns | Forest
Critter Puns | Animal Bar Jokes
|
| Q.
Why did the koala bear eat so much eucalyptus?
A. He just couldn't leaf it alone.
Q.
What is a bear's favorite soft drink?
A. Koka-Koala!
Q.
What did the cute Aussie bear order at the bar?
A. A Pina Koala.
Down
Unda Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, you be the eucalyptus tree,
and I'll wrap around you like a koala bear. |
Q.
Which Chinese animal spends his day wondering about the
meaning of life?
A. Ponder bear.
Q.
What's the zoological term for a male panda?
A. Amanda.
Q.
What's black and white and yellow all over?
A. A panda with urinary incontinence.
Q.
What's black and white and red all over?
A. The embarrassed panda comedian who was bamboo-ed off
stage after telling Painful
Puns.
|
Q. Why are constipated brown bears so grumpy and rude?
A. Because they just don't give a sh*t.
Bruin
Point to Ponder: When a big male Grizzly poops in the woods,
is the smell unbearable?
Q.
What does a bruin's fart smell like in the woods?
A. It's absolutely un-bearable!
When
people give you a big ol' bear hug, fart really loudly.
You'll make them feel very strong! |
| Q.
What is it called when sick bamboo bears infect their red
cousins?
A. A panda-emic.
Q.
What's black and white and green all over?
A. An envious panda.
Q.
What is black and white a rolling down a hill at 90 MPH?
A. A panda in gray-ve peril. |
Q.
Why don't bruins in the woods ever look sad?
A. 'Cause whatever the situation, they just grin and bear
it!
Q.
Why do Grizzlies have thick fur coats?
A. If they didn't, they'd be bear naked.
Tarzan
wanders into a bar followed by a bruin. Bartender asks,
"What's your story?" Tarzan say, "Bear with me." |
Q.
How do polar bears make their beds in Alaska?
A. With snow blankets and sheets of ice!
Q.
Which bear ghost haunts the Great White North?
A. The polar-geist.
Q.
How do arctic bruins stay cool during summer?
A. They use bear conditioning. |
|
Q. If a bear could get a driver's license, which kind of
car would he drivk?
A. A Furrari.
Q.
What do you call a bear that's ice fishing before hibernation?
A. A brrrrrrr.
Q.
What is it called when a couple of cub fall into a vat of
craft beer on your deck?
A. A bear-all of laughs.
Q.
What do they call the Aussie bear at the Warsaw zoo?
A. Koalaski. |
Q.
Why couldn't the Aussie bear join the army?
A. It was dis-koala-fied for being down unda weight.
Q.
What exotic Australian mammal did the old steam ship captain
keep as a pet aboard ship?
A. A coal-ala bear.
Down
Unda Pick-Up Line: Hey Sheila, I have the necessary koala-fications
to make you a very happy girl.
Q.
What do Aussie bears do up in the trees during the afternoon?
A. They enjoy high koala-tea.
|
Q.
How did the Star Wars Teddy bear cross the road?
A. Ewoked!
Q.
What do girl Teddy bears do to make themselves look larger?
A. They wear plush-up bras.
Q.
What does a Grizzly use to move rubble out of his cave entrance?
A. A wheel-bear-row.
Q.
How do bruins receive packages and correspondence?
A. Via Bear Mail.
|
|
Q. What is an Alaskan polar bear's favorite summer dessert?
A. Eskimo pie..
Q.
What is one of the biggest drawbacks of a polar bear's diet?
A. Brain freeze.
Q.
What does a crude polar bear do after he eats a big meal?
A. He brrr-ps. |
Q.
Why was the bruin fired from yet another job?
A. 'Cause he only did the bear minimum.
Q.
What do bears eat at picnics?
A. Blue bear-y pie.
Q.
What kind of embrace can you expect from a Grizzly?
A. A big bear hug.
|
Q.
Which giant bamboo eater is always out of breath?
A. The pant-a bear.
Q. When did the black and white bear's husband realize the
wedding was a big mistake?
A. After he opened Panda Dora's box.
Q.
What did the panda say when he was forced out of his natural
habitat?
A. This is un-BEAR-able. |
Q.
Why are pandas the least racist animals?
A. 'Cause they're black, white, and Asian.
Q.
What does a panda say when it steps out for a bit?
A. I'll be white black...
Q.
What's black and white and blue all over?
A. A sad panda.
Q.
What do you call a Chinese bear swimming in a small lake?
A. Pond-a. |
Q.
Why do she bears in the Rocky Mountains have fur coats?
A. Because the Brazilian hasn't caught on down there yet.
Old
bears never die, but they do go into a final hibernation.
Q.
Where do sleepy Aussie bears like to vacation on the US
West Coast?
A. Napa Valley, Koala-fornia.
Q.
What is a brown bruin's favorite kind of fruit?
A. Bear-ries. |
Q.
When do bruin couples stop arguing?
A. When it becomes un-bear-able, or it's time to hibernate.
Q.
Why shouldn't you tell an earthquake joke to a polar bear
you just met?
A. Because that's a really bad ice breaker.
Q.
What did the koala write to his lady on Valentine's Day?
A. I love You, Calyptus!
Q.
How do you say "I'm sorry" in Australian?
A. I koalagise. |
|
Bear Jokes | 2
| 3 | Panda
Puns | Polar Bear Jokes | Deer
Jokes | 2 | Buffalo
and Bison Jokes | 2 |
| Wolf Jokes | 2
| 3 | Fox
Puns | Mouse Jokes, Rat Puns
| Rabbit Jokes, Hare Puns | Yak
Jokes | 2 |
| Forest Critter Puns | Bat
Jokes | Owl Jokes, Owl-ful
Puns | Animal Poop Puns | Sea
Mammals |
| Gorilla Jokes, Big Ape Puns | 2
| 3 | Bigfoot
Jokes | Sasquatch Jokes | Colorado
Bigfoot Jokes |
| Chimpanzee Puns | Monkey
Jokes | 2 | 3
| 4 | Stoner
Monkeys | Animal Potheads | Animal
Bar |
| Elephant Jokes | Lion
Jokes, Big Cat Puns | African
Safari Animal Jokes | Kangaroo
Jokes |
| Insect Jokes, Bug Puns, Entomology LOLs
| 2 | 3
| 4 | 5
| Bee Jokes, Hive Humor, Wasp LOLs
| 2 |
| Butterfly Jokes, Moth Puns, Caterpillar
LOLs | Housefly Jokes | Spider
Jokes, Arachnid Puns | 2
|
| Frog Jokes and Toad Puns | 2
| 3 | 4
| 5 | Snake
Humor | 2 | 3
| Dinosaur Jokes | 2
| 3 | 4
| 5 | 6
|
| Lizard Laughs | Crocodile
Jokes, Gator Puns | Turtle Jokes,
Tortoise Puns | 2 | 3
| Reptile Humor |
| Vet Jokes | Scary
Animal Jokes | Animal Music Jokes
| Animal Pick-Up Lines | Xmas
Animals |
| Duck Puns | Goose
Jokes | Fish Jokes | Finny
Fish Puns | Sports Animal Jokes
| Bronco Puns |
| Wild Animal Jokes | Colorado
Wildlife | Farm Animals | Pet
Animal Puns | Animal Crime Jokes
|
You've
come down this far, so tree-t
yourself more toothy grins,
wild humor,
bearly funny jokes and paw-some
painful puns that produce koala-ty
laughs:
|
More
Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...
| Cocktal Jokes | Cold
Puns | Colorado Jokes | Comedian
Laughs | Family Humor | Fart
Jokes | Fast Food Jokes |
| Hamburger Puns | Hill
Areas Puns | Manly Man Jokes |
Pee Puns | Police
Jokes | Psychic Laughs | Red
Jokes |
| Sci-Fi Jokes | Seasonal
Humor | Soda Funny | Sports
Jokes | Toothy Grins | Turdy
Jokes | World Travwl Jokes |
Thanks
for stopping by and see you again soon!
Join
us on social media and please
feel free to share our memes with friends and family:
©2017-2020
Painfulpuns.com 
All rights reserved. |
|
|
