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Bad Asp Jokes, Snake Puns, Adder Humor, Boa LOLs
Be
charmed by bad asp puns, biting serpent humor, cobra LOLs and deadly funny
snake bite jokes.
Rattlesnake Jokes, Boa Puns, Viper
Active Humor
(Because Boa Jokes and Asp
Puns Could Never Be TOO Mainstream If You're Worried
About E-Reptile Dusfunction!) |
Warning:
Proceed with Caution! Crushing snake jokes, civil serpent humor,
and hiss-torical snake puns ahead.
| Hiss-terical
Snake Puns and Serpent Jokes | 2
| 3 | Dinosaur
Jokes | Frog Jokes and Toad Puns
|
| Lizard Laughs | Crocodile
Jokes, Gator Puns | Turtle Jokes,
Tortoise Puns | Pet Reptile Humor
|
| Insect Jokes, Bug Puns | Bee
Puns| Butterfly Jokes, Moth
Puns | Housefly LOLs | Spider
Jokes |
| Q.
What does a she constrictor call her boyfriend?
A. Beau-a.
Q.
Which kind of serpent comedian tells the worst jokes?
A. A corn snake.
Q.
Which South American author wrote the captivating new romance
thriller, My Last Big Crush?
A. Anna Khan Duh. |
Q.
Which refreshing beverage is made of snake juice?
A. S-asp-arilla.
Q.
Why should you never flush a snake down the toilet?
A. Because it might come back to bite you in the asp.
Q.
Why did the western snake rob a pawn shop?
A. 'Cause it wanted its diamondback.
|
Q.
Which kind of large snake enjoys visiting California beach
resorts?
A.The Big Sur-Pent.
Q.
What do you call a viper that's not wearing any clothing?
A. Snaked!
Q.
Which kind of venomous snake wears edible underwear?
A. The Pie-Thong! |
| Q.
Which kind of snake has a foul vocabulary?
A. The swear-pent.
Q.
Why didn't the bartender serve the the snake that sidled
up to the bar?
A. Because he couldn't hold his beer.
A
rattlesnake walks into the bar. Stunned saloon
keeper says, "How did you do that?" |
Q. Which kind of snake only eats dessert?
A. The Pie-Thon.
Q.
Which western snake makes horses run away really fast?
A. The spur-pent.
Q.
What do you get when you cross an ostritch with a snake?
A. A big feather boa.
|
Q. Which kind of snake makes the best magician?
A. The Adder-cadabra.
Q.
Why was the snake with ADHD so jittery today?
A. It ran out of Adderall.
Q.
Why did the mother snake need to take the day off?
A. 'Cause her kids were so viper active. |
|
Q. What do you call a snake who works for the government?
A. A Civil Serpent!
Q.
What is it called when a big boa snake can't shed its skin?
A. E-reptile dysfunction!
Q.
Which holiday is reviled by snakes?
A. St. Patrick's Day. |
Q.
Why wasn't the blonde afraid of snakes?
A. Because they're completely armless. DUH!
Q.
What is it called when a bull snake can't slither?
A. E-reptile dysfunction!
Q.
Which fashionable snake wears a decoration on her head?
A. The bow-a.
|
Q. How much cake do you serve a pet snake on its birthday?
A. Just a slither.
Q.
What did the snake give to his wife?
A. A good night hiss.
Q.
Which kind of snake is a snitch for the Phoenix police department?
A. The tattle-snake. |
| Q.
Is it possible to get yarn from a snake?
A. Yes, but only after it sheds its skein.
Q.
What do you get when you cross a bull with a viper?
A. A cattle-snake.
Q.
Which kind of snake likes to build things?
A. The Boa Constructor.
Q.
Who is a snake's favorite classic movie star?
A. Humphrey Boa-gart. |
Q.
Which section of the library should you avoid if you're
afraid of snakes?
A. Hisss-tory.
Q.
Why did the snake visit her gynocologist?
A. Because she needed a hiss-terectomy.
Q.
Why don't serpents play craps?
A. 'Cause they always roll snake eyes.
Q.
Which medication does a lisping snake take before giving
a presentation?
A. Anti-hiss-tamines. |
Q. Why shouldn't you ever throw a snake like a boomerang?
A. 'Cause it will come back to bite you.
Q.
What do you get when you cross a pig with a serpent?
A. A boar constrictor.
Q.
Which kind of snake do wild horses avoid?
A. The saddle-snake.
African
Rock Python Pick-Up Line: Hey Eve, I hear you like big snakes?
|
| Q.
What do you call a scary snake invasion south of the Rio
Grande?
A. Hiss-panic.
Q.
What is a Cape Cobra's favorite subject in school?
A. Hiss-tory!
Q.
What do you call snakes that design men's clothing?
A. Sir-pants.
Q.
What do you get when you cross a newborn snake with a basketball?
A. A bouncing baby boa that dribbles. |
Q. What's it called when you take a selfie with a rattlesnake?
A. A big misssstake!
Q.
How do you make a baby diamondback cry?
A. Take away its rattle.
Hiss-terical
Point to Ponder: Since small garden serpents don't have
legs or feet and can't wear socks, why dp we call them garter
snakes?
Q.
What is the fear of snakes called?
A. Common sense! |
Q.
Why are snakes so hard to fool?
A. 'Cause you just can't pull their legs...
Q.
What is it called when a rattlesnake can't produce venom?
A. E-reptile dysfunction!
Q.
What is every plumbers favorite reptile?
A. The sink snake.
Q.
How does a spoiled brat snake throw a tantrum?
A. She has a hissy fit. |
|
Snake Humor | 2
| 3 | Frog
Jokes and Toad Puns | 2 | 3
| 4 | 5
| Dinosaur Jokes | 2
| 3 | 4
| 5 | 6
|
| Lizard Laughs | Crocodile
Jokes, Gator Puns | Turtle Jokes,
Tortoise Puns | 2 | 3
| Reptile Humor |
| Insect Jokes, Bug Puns, Entomology LOLs
| 2 | 3
| 4 | 5
| Bee Jokes, Hive Humor, Wasp LOLs
| 2 |
| Butterfly Jokes, Moth Puns, Caterpillar
LOLs | Housefly Jokes | Spider
Jokes, Arachnid Puns | 2
|
|
Gorilla Jokes, Big Ape Puns | 2
| 3 | Bigfoot
Jokes | Sasquatch Jokes | Colorado
Bigfoot Jokes |
| Chimpanzee Puns | Monkey
Jokes | 2 | 3
|
4 | Stoner
Monkeys | Animal Potheads | Animal
Bar |
| Elephant Jokes | Lion
Jokes, Big Cat Puns | African
Safari Animal Jokes | Kangaroo
Jokes |
| Bat Jokes | Owl
Jokes, Owl-ful Puns | Wolf
Jokes | Marine Mammal Jokes and Sealife
Puns |
| Bear Jokes | Deer
Jokes | Mouse Jokes, Rat Puns
| Rabbit Jokes, Hare Puns | Animal
Poop Puns |
| Vet Jokes | Scary
Animal Jokes | Animal Music Jokes
| Animal Pick-Up Lines | Xmas
Animals |
| Duck Puns | Goose
Jokes | Fish Jokes | Finny
Fish Puns | Sports Animal Jokes
| Bronco Puns |
| Wild Animal Jokes | Colorado
Wildlife | Farm Animals | Pet
Animal Puns | Animal Crime Jokes
|
You
asped for it, so here
are even more laughter bites,
crushing humor,
deadly
funny
jokes and hiss-toric
painful puns that'll surly charm
you:
|
More
Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...
| Bartender Jokes | Colorado
Jokes | Cross the Road Jokes | Dating
Humor | Dessert Jokes | Family
Laughs |
| Fashion Humor | Feet
Puns | Manly Man Jokes | Math
Jokes | Police Puns | Psychic
Laughs | Religion Jokes |
| Sci-Fi Jokes | School
Jokes | Seasonal Humor | Sports
Jokes | Sunday Puns | Swimming
Jokes | Toy Jokes |
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for stopping by and see you again soon!
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