Insect Jokes, Buggy Puns, Spider Humor, Bug Jokes 13

Insect Humor, Spider Jokes, Funny Bug Puns
(Because Beeing Funny Could Never Be TOO Mainstream Unless You Ant in the Mood to Be Bugged!)

Q. Which insect never plays quarterback? A. The Fumble Bee!

Q. How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? A. Two, but nobody knows how they got in there?

Q. Why did the ant fall off the toilet seat? A. He was pissed off!

Q. What might you call a wasp?
A. A wannabe!

Q. Where do you get honey in a graveyard?
A. From a zombee!

Q. What do you do with a sick hornet?
A. Take it to the wasp-ital!

Q. How do fleas travel?
A. They itch hike!

Six-Legged Point to Ponder: Do insect puns really bug you?

Q. What do you call a fly with no wings?
A. A Walk.

Q. What is an insect's favorite dance step?
A. The Jitterbug.

Six-Legged Pick-Up Line: Hey girly, how many eyes does this fly have? It doesn't matter, because all of them are on you, you, you baby.

Flying Insect Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, do you have some bug spray? Because I have butterflies in my tummy.

Q. Where do the most ants live?
A. In Antlantic City.

Q. What do you call a small female insect who can see the future?
A. Clair Voy Ant.

Q. What do ants use to smell nice?
A. De-odor-ant.

Q. What do you call it when two ants run away to get married?
A. Ant-elopes!

Q. Which insect really bugs your locksmith? A. A Mosquito!

Bar joke: A bee walks into a bar. It comes out two hours later, buzzing!

Who do you call when mosquitoes attack? A. The SWAT team!

Q. Why don't vampires like mosquitoes?
A. Too much competition!

Q. What is a mosquito's favorite sport?
A. Skin Diving.

Q. How did Samuel Gertler come up with the idea for his mosquito repellant patten in 1946?
A. He started from scratch.

Q. What did the drone bee say when he returned home to the hive?
A. Honey, I'm Home!

Q. Why was the hornet looking for the trash cans?
A. Because it wasn't a litterbug!

Q. What do you call a ladybug or a scarab that prefers to ascend up steep surfaces?
A. An uphill beetle.

Q. Which insect has great baseball skills?
A. The Pop Fly.

Did you hear about the two bed bugs who met in a mattress? They got married in the spring.

Q. How did the caterpillar's metamorphosis go?
A. Everything went smooth as silk.

Q. Where do bees go to the bathroom? A. At the BP Station!

Q. Why don't grasshoppers attend football games? A. They prefer cricket matches!

Q. What did one firefly say to another? A. You glow girl!

Q. What do you call an insect that can't have too much sugar?
A. A Dia-beetle.

Q. What do you call the back of a bee?
A. The bee-hind.

Buggy Pick-Up Poetry: I'm the flower, you're the bee. So, why don't you suck the sweet pollen right out of me?

Q. Do old exterminators ever die?
A. No, they just bug out.

Q. Which kind of insect takes a lot of pictures?
A. A Shutterbug.

Q. What kind of insect jumps over cups?
A. The Glass-Hopper.

Q. What do termites call the wood on some dining furniture?
A. Table food.

Q. How do you bash an insect repellant brand?
A. Blast Off.

Q. What do fireflies eat?
A. Light snacks.

Q. How do fireflies start a race?
A. Ready, Set, Glow!

Mothra Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, you're a bright light and I'm a bug, because I am so darned attracted to you.

Old fireflies never die. They just glow on and off and on and off...

Q. Why are spiders great tennis players? A. Because they have great topspin!

Q. what do you call an officer with bugs? A. Po-Lice!

Funny Arachnid Riddle: Q. What do you call young married spiders? A. Newly Webs

Q. What is it called when big hairy spiders rain down out of the sky?
A. A tarantula downpour!

Q. How did the spider destroy the World Wide Web?
A. He gave it a bug.

Q. Why did the spider go on a test drive?
A. He just wanted to go for a spin.

Q. Why don't ants ever get sick?
A. Because they have anty bodies.

Q. Which kind of bugs live in clocks?
A. Ticks.

Q. What is the most musical insect?
A. The Hum Bug.

If cockroaches can survive a nuclear blast, what the hell is in Raid?

Q. How does a queen ant keep all the workers happy?
A. She medicates them with ant-i-depressant drugs.

Q. When do spiders go on their honeymoon?
A. After their webbing day.

Q. What was the spider doing online?
A. Searching the Web.

Buggy Point to Ponder: What do you call a male ladybug?

Buggy Pick-Up Line: Hey girly, are you a termite? 'Cause you're about to get a mouth full of wood.

What did the bees say when they found the indica field? A. D-Bee Do-Bee Do!

Q. What did the beekeeper say whn his bees made cannabis honey? A. Do-Bee Do-Bee Do!

Q. What did the bees say when they found the sativa field? A. Se Habla Do-Bee Do-Bee do!

Q. Why couldn't the butterfly go to the dance?
A. Because it was a moth ball.

Q. What did the sushi say to the bee?
A. Wassabee!

Q. How do little bees get to school?
A. On the school buzz!

Buggy Diner Chat Up Line: Hey girl, do you have any lice with that shake?

Q. Why did the Bee feel so cold?
A. Because it was right in the AC.

Q. What do you call a homeless insect?
A. A Bum-blebee.

Q. Why did the dishonest bee banker go to prison?
A. Embuzzlement!

Q. Where is the best place to buy bugs?
A. At the flea market.

Q. What is the opposite of a stink bug?
A. A de-odor-ant.

Today's Buggy Point to Ponder: Isn't it ironic that ants don’t live in Antarctica?

Q. What do butterflies study in school?
A. Moth-ematics.

Q. What do you get if you cross a firefly and a moth?
A. An insect that can navigate inside a dark closet.

Q. Why did the exterminator decide to quit his job?
A. The pay was really lousy.

You haven't bugged out yet, so here are even more buzzes of laughter,
spider web humor, and bee-rated painful puns that really do sting:

More Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...

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