Q. Why was the pig ejected from the football game? A. For Playing Dirty!   PainfulPuns.com - Animal Puns, Wildlie Humor, Beary Funny Jokes!

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Q. Which insect never plays quarterback? A. The Fumble Bee!
Trout Says: If you have to pay to go up river, you should stop at the bank first!
Q. What is small, gray, suck blood, and eats cheese? A. A Mouse-quito!
Q. What Did the Coach Say to His Losing Team of Snakes? A. You Can't Venom All!

 


Wildlife Humor, Animal Jokes, Beastly Puns
Monkey around with wildlife laughs, dandy lion puns, Bee-rated humor and fiercely funny jokes.

Funny Animal Jokes, Feral Humor, Animal Puns
(Because Tame Humor and Zoo Jokes are TOO Mainstream for Animal Lovers with a Wild Sense of Humor!)
Warning: Please Don't Feed the Animals! Undomesticated humor, wildlife jokes, and bees-tly puns ahead.
| Wildly Funny Wild Animal Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 |
| Gorilla Jokes and Big Ape Puns | Bigfoot Jokes | Sasquatch Jokes | Colorado Bigfoot Jokes |
| Cheeky Monkey Jokes | Stoner Monkey Jokes | 2 | Animal Pothead Puns | Animal Bar Jokes |
| Elephant Jokes, Mammoth Puns | Lion Jokes, Big Cat Puns | Colorado Wildlife Jokes | 2 | 3 |
| Bear Jokes | Deer Jokes | Mouse Jokes | Rabbit Jokes, Hare Humor | Animal Poop Puns |
| Insect Puns | Bee Jokes | Spider Jokes | Frog Jokes, Toad Puns | Snake Jokes | Fish Jokes |
| Vet Jokes | Scary Animal Jokes | Animal Music Jokes | Animal Pick-Up Lines | Xmas Animals |

Are you just here for the lynx? Happy Caturday!Bar joke: A bee walks into a bar. It comes out two hours later, buzzing!Q. How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? A. Two, but it's cramped!

Q. What do you call a lion wearing a very dapper hat?
A. A dandy lion!

Q. Which big cat should you never bet against?
A. A Cheetah!

Wild Animal Pick-Up Line: Hey wild one, I'd like to domesticat you!

Q. What did the drone bee say when he returned home to the hive?
A. Honey, I'm Home!

Q. Where do you get honey in a graveyard?
A. From a zombee!

Q. Why was the hornet looking for the trash cans?
A. Because it wasn't a litterbug!

Q. How do you save a drowning rodent?
A. With mouse to mouse resuscitation!

Q. What goes dot, dot, dash, squeak?
A. Mouse Code.

Mouse Pick-Up Line: Mice to meet you!

Q. What does a mouse's cousin use to paint her nails?
A. Shrew polish.

A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Hey." The horse says, "Buddy, you read my mind1"Caturday Trivia: Which side of a tiger has the most stripes? A. The Outside!Chimp asks: What kind of key opens a banana? A. A monkey!

Q. What do you call a well-balanced horse?
A. Stable.

Q. Which type of underwear do race horses wear?
A. Short Jockeys.

Q. What do you call the horse that lives next door?
A. Neighbor.

Q. What do horses say about Painful Puns that feature equines?
A. Neigh!

Q. What is the biggest difference between a lion and a tiger?
A. A tiger is missing the mane part.

Q. Why was the wildcat tamer fined?
A. For parking on the yellow lion.

Feline Fine Pick-Up Line: Hey Kitty, an evening with me is like catnip 'cause I can make a cougar like you go wild.

Wildcat Hookup Line: Hey Kitty, wanna play lion? Okay, you just kneel right there, and I'll throw you my meat.

Q. Why was the jungle party a snoozer?
A. Because they forgot the chimps and dip.

Q. What do you call an angry monkey?
A. Furious George!

Q. Why did the gorilla fail his High School finals?
A. He had little ape-titude.

Q. Why did baboons ride the carousel at the amusement park?
A. 'Cause they wanted to monkey around.

Q. Where do penguins keep their money? A. In a snow bank!Bigfoot doesn't believe in you either!Space Creature Asks: What do you get if you cross an alien and a kangaroo? A. A Mars-Upial!

Q. Why are penguins so socially awkward?
A. They just can't break the ice.

Q. Who is a penguin's favorite relative?
A. Aunt-Arctica!

Today's Cold Point to Ponder: Isn't it ironic that ants don't live in Antarctica?

Q. How does a penguin build a house?
A. Igloos it together!

Q. Why did the sasquatch like to hear all these Painful jokes?
A. Because Bigfoot doesn't want to myth out on the punch lines.

Q. What happens if Bigfoot gets lost in the fog?
A. He is mist!

Q. What does Bigfoot do to ensure good luck?
A. He knocks on wood!

Q. Why did the kangaroo hesitate?
A. He didn't want to jump to conclusions.

Q. What do you call an angry kangaroo?
A. Hopping mad.

Q. Why don't kangaroos make good sailors?
A. Because they always jump ship.

Q. What did Mrs. Kangaroo expect her hubby to do with today's to-do list?
A. Hop to it!

Q. What do you call rude Canada geese in a Colorado park? A. @#$%^&*! And, Coloradans are pretty polite.Q. Which fruit do sheep enjoy most? A. Baaaa-nanas!Q. What do you call a rude Canada goose in Colorado? A. One? Are you freaking serious?

Q. What do you call a very rude goose?
A. A Mockingbird!

Q. What do you call it when it rains ducks and geese?
A. Fowl Weather!

Q. How do you get a silly goose to stop calling you?
A. Take away its phone.

Did you hear about the blonde who decided to become a sheep farmer? She planted them too close together.

Q. What lives under water and bleats at ships?
A. A ewe-boat.

Q. Where do sheep go on holiday?
A. Baali.

Q. What did the goose say when it turned cold for the winter?
A. Brrrd!

Q. Why do ducks and geese fly south?
A. Because it's too far to walk!

Q. Where do bird royalty live?
A. At Duckingham Palace.

| Wildly Funny Wild Animal Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 |
| Gorilla Jokes and Big Ape Puns | Bigfoot Jokes | Sasquatch Jokes | Colorado Bigfoot Jokes |
| Cheeky Monkey Jokes | Stoner Monkey Jokes | 2 | Animal Pothead Puns | Animal Bar Jokes |
| Elephant Jokes, Mammoth Puns | Lion Jokes, Big Cat Puns | Colorado Wildlife Jokes | 2 | 3 |
| Bear Jokes | Deer Jokes | Mouse Jokes, Rat Puns | Rabbit Jokes, Hare Puns | Animal Poop Puns |
| Insect Puns | Bee Jokes | Spider Jokes | Frog Jokes, Toad Puns | Snake Jokes, Reptile Puns |
| Vet Jokes | Scary Animal Jokes | Animal Music Jokes | Animal Pick-Up Lines | Xmas Animals |
| Duck Jokes, Goose Puns | Fish Jokes | Finny Fish Puns | Sports Animal Jokes | Bronco Puns |
| Farm Animals | Chicken Jokes | Cow Puns | Donkey Puns | Horse Jokes | Pig Puns | Sheep Puns |
| Pet Animal Puns | Bird Jokes | Pet Cat Jokes | Feline Puns | Dog Jokes | 2 | Pet Rodent Jokes |


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