Q. Who keeps the ocean clean? A. A Mermaid!   PainfulPuns.com - Animal Puns, Wildlie Humor, Beary Funny Jokes!

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Q. Why do oysters go to the gym? A. It's good for the mussel!
Q. How does a seahorse get from place to place quickkly? A. He Scallops!

Q. Why are manatees so wrinkled? A. Have you ever tried to iron one?
Q. Why did a small fish go to Hollywood? A. To become a starfish!


Lobster Jokes, Crab Puns, Sea Creature Humor
Grab onto claw-ful crab puns, crustacean humor, clambidextrous LOLs and shrimp-poster jokes.

Shellfish Jokes, Clam Puns, Lobster Laughs
(Because Frust-Acean Puns and Lost Claws Jokes Could Never Be TOO Mainstream for Mermaids or Mer Men!)
Warning: Proceed Claw-tiously! Loch Ness monster jokes, sea-dy mermaid humor, and crab normal puns ahead.
| Sea Creature Jokes, Shellfsh Puns, Lobster LOLs, Crab Grins | 3 | Octopus Jokes, Squid Puns |
| Dolphin Jokes, Porpoise Puns | Whale Jokes | Marine Mammal Jokes, Deep Sea Animal Humor |
| Fish Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | Shark Jokes | 2 | Finny Fish Puns | Tropical Fish Jokes, Aquarium Puns |
| Fisherman Jokes, Sport Fishing Puns | High Seas Humor | Maritime Laughs | Seafood Jokes |

Q. Where do shellfish go to borrow money? A. To the prawn broker!Q. What do you call a religious crustacean? A. Holy Crab!Q. What do you call a lazy crayfish? A.Slobster!

Q. What's worse than lobsters on your grand piano?
A. Crabs on your mouth organ.

Deep Sea Critter Pick-Up Line: Hey prawn-cess, you're so hot that you turn all the other shellfish red.

Q. Why do shrimp like Painful lobster Puns?
A. 'Cause they really grab you.

Q. What do fishermen call a rascal shellfish?
A. Shrimp Scampi.

Q. What do you call a crab that's gone missing?
A. A lost claws.

Q. Where do stylish crabs keep their clothing?
A. In the claws-et.

Q. What do crabs drink in the morning?
A. Claw-fee.

Q. What do you call a deviant shellfish?
A. Crabnormal.

Q. Where do lobsters work at the bread factory?
A. At a crust station.

Q. What did the shrink say about the lobster that couldn't go into tight spaces?
A. He's claws-trophobic.

Q. Why do punny lobster jokes grab you?
A. Just be claws.

Q. What do mollusks call the crustacean jail?
A. Lob stir.

Q. Why did the lobster blush? A. Because the sea weed!Q. How did the marine mollusk get into college? A. It got a scallopship!Q. What creature lives in the ocean, is grouchy, and hates its neighbors? A. A hermit crab!

Q. Where won't you find hipster lobsters?
A. In the Maine stream.

Q. Which crustacean bartender makes the best martinis?
A. The lob-stir.

Q. Which song really gets a crustacean party going?
A. Rock Lobster by The B-52s.

Q. What do you get if you cross a retriever with a lobster?
A. A Labster.

Q. Which oyster magician UsO aliens enjoy the most?
A. Clamazing Randi.

Q. Where do oysters spend too much money online?
A. Clamazon dot con.

Q. What is it called when an oyster comedian gets applause from left-handed lobsters and right-handed crabs?
A. Clambidextrous.

Q. What do you call an oyster from Florida?
A. Clamericaa.

Q. How do you describe a grouchy shellfish on a calorie-restrictive diet?
A. Crabstinent.

Q. What do you get when you cross a shellfish with a fruit tree?
A. Crab apples.

Q. Which kind of vodka do shellfish prefer?
A. CrAbsolut.

Q. What was the drunken shellfish drinking at the Sand Bar?
A. Crabsinthe.

When somebody signed this creature's body, you could see the handwriting on the walrus!Q. Which fish only swims at night? A. Starfish!As king of the crustacean kingdom, the almighty lobster always laid down the claw!

Q. What did the sea lion say when he was falsely accused?
A. Hey, it was the otter guy!

Sea Lion Chat Up Line: Hey girl, I hope you see that I'm not like all the otters!

Sea Lion Pick-Up Line: Hey girl, how about we go behind this rock and seal the deal?

Q. Which sea creature is the biggest celebrity in the ocean?
A. The starfish.

Q. Whih kind of sea creature sneaks up behind shellfish to scare them?
A. The startle-fish.

Q. What is a popular lobster movie star called?
A. A shell-ebrity.

Q. Why was the lobster always in jail?
A. He engaged in sea-dy activities that were against the claw.

Q. Which shellfish is the best tennis player?
A. The lob star.

Q. What do you call the shellfish identity thief?
A. The shrimposter.

Q. Why don't lobsters share? A. Because they're shellfish!Q. What do sea monsters eat? A. Fish and ships!Q. Who cleans the bottom of the ocean? A. A Mer-Maid!

Q. What is an angry, fed-up lobster called?
A. A frust-acean.

Q. Why did the lobster trapper's wife decide to divorce him?
A. 'Cause he was a shellfish lover.

Q. What do you get if you cross a lobster with a newt?
A. A shell-amander.

Q. What do you get if you cross Moby Dick with a lobster?
A. A big mobster.

Q. What do you call a teenage shellfish with a sassy mouth?
A. Lipster.

Q. What do you get if you cross a jellyfish with a shellfish?
A. A blobster.

Q. What do you call a shellfish with test tubes and petri dishes?
A. The labster.

Q. Which shellfish is honored on Hollywood Blvd. across from the Chinese Theater?
A. The lob star.

Q. What do you get when you cross Nessie with a great white shark?
A. Loch Jaws.

Q. What do you get if you cross Nessie with an octopus?
A. Loch Topus.

Scary Deep Sea Groan of the Day: Sea monster jokes are Kraken me up.

Q. Which mysterious Mafia member dwells alongside a long lake in Scotland?
A. The Loch Ness Mobster!

Q. What did Nessie say to the actual Loch Ness Monster?
A. Long time, no sea!

Q. What do you get if you cross egotistical fashion designer and a Scottish legend?
A. The Loch Dress Monster.

Q. Which rare creature has the worst odds for survival?
A. The Luck Less Monster.

Q. How do you communicate with the Loch Ness Monster?
A. Just drop him a line.

Q. Which alien sea creature did Russian cosmonauts see outside their space station window?
A. A MIR maid.

Q. Which alluring sea creature smells the best?
A. The myrrh maid.

Q. Which brand of vacuum cleaner does a mermaid use?
A. Shark.

Q. What was the horny sirenomelia seeking?
A. A mer-mate.

Q. What is a transgender mermaid called?
A. A mer-man.

Q. What does a mermaid see when see peers into the looking glass?
A. A mirror maid.

Q. What do you get if you cross an Impractical Joker with a sea siren?
A. A Murr maid.

Q. What do you call an imaginary water nymph?
A. Mer-made.

Q. What do you call seahorses that play competitive polo? A Leagues under the sea!Q. What do you get if you cross shellfish and an ape? A. A Shrimpanzee!Q. Why don't lobsters ever pay retail? A. Because they're sale fish!

Q. Who do horny sea creatures hang with on the mermaid's day off?
A. Sea whores.

Q. Why was the sea horse comedian booed off the stage?
A. All his jokes were really shelly.

Q. Which sea creature is included in every ocean funeral?
A. The sea hearse.

Q. What is a group of Kraken that are trying to end their lives called?
A. Suicide squid.

Q. What do you call a stoner shellfish?
A. A clam bake.

Q. What do you get if you cross a big jet with a small shellfish?
A. Jumbo shrimp.

Q. Where is a great place to get fast cash for all the shrimp you don't need?
A. At the Prawn Shop.

Q. What is a garden gnome's favorite seafood?
A. Shrimp.

Q. Which kind of crustacean throws stuff around?
A. A lobster.

Q. What do ocean dwellers call a shellfish that can't keep a secret?
A. Blabster.

Q. What do you call a collision between small shellfish?
A. A shr-impact.

Q. What do you call a sobbing crawdad?
A. A cry-fish.

| Sea Creature Jokes, Shellfsh Puns, Lobster LOLs, Crab Grins | 3 | Octopus Jokes, Squid Puns |
| Dolphin Jokes, Porpoise Puns | Whale Jokes | Marine Mammal Jokes, Deep Sea Animal Humor |
| Fish Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | Shark Jokes | 2 | Finny Fish Puns | Tropical Fish Jokes, Aquarium Puns |
| Wild Bird Jokes | 2 | 3 | Owl Jokes, Owl-ful Puns | 2 | Crow Jokes | 2 | Duck Puns | Goose Jokes |
| Bear Jokes | 2 | 3 | Panda Puns | Polar Bear Jokes | Deer Jokes | 2 | Buffalo and Bison Jokes | 2 |
| Wolf Jokes | 2 | 3 | Fox Puns | Mouse Jokes, Rat Puns | Rabbit Jokes, Hare Puns | Yak Jokes | 2 |
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| Wildcat Puns | Lion Jokes | 2 | Leopard Jokes, Cheetah Puns | Lynx LOLs | Tiger Puns | Zoo Jokes |
| Elephant Jokes | 2 | Giraffe Jokes | Hippo Puns | 2 | Safari Animal Jokes | Kangaroo Jokes | 2 1 3 |
| Gorilla Jokes, Big Ape Puns | 2 | 3 | Bigfoot Jokes | Sasquatch Jokes | Colorado Bigfoot Jokes |
| Chimpanzee Puns | Monkey Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | Stoner Monkeys | Animal Potheads | Animal Bar |
| Insect Jokes, Bug Puns, Entomology LOLs | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Bee Jokes, Hive Humor, Wasp LOLs | 2 |
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| Frog Jokes and Toad Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Snake Humor | 2 | 3 | Dinosaur Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
| Lizard Laughs | Crocodile Jokes, Gator Puns | Turtle Jokes, Tortoise Puns | 2 | 3 | Reptile Humor |
| Vet Jokes | Scary Animal Jokes | Animal Music Jokes | Animal Pick-Up Lines | Xmas Animals |
| Wild Animal Jokes | Colorado Wildlife | Farm Animals | Pet Animal Puns | Animal Crime Jokes |

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