A giraffe walks into a bar. "Sorry," said the bartender, "We don't serve Heineken here."

Q. What does the Maasai tribesman comedian hope for when he performs in Tanzania?
A. Big gir-laughs.

A giraffe walks into a bar. Bartender asks, "Do you want a long neck?" Giraffe says, "Do I have a choice?"

Q. What should you do if you come across a hyena telling safari jokes?
A. Laugh your giraffe off.

Q. Why didn't the short giraffe have friends?
A. 'Cause he woudln't stick his neck out for anybody.

Q. Which tall Aftican animal tries to catch the tail end of pesky drones?
A. The gir-aft.

Q. Why do giraffes have such long necks?
A. Because they have really stinky feet!

Q. What does a giraffe do when it sees a helicopter coming?
A. Duck.

Q. What do you call it when space aliens abduct Earth's tallest terestrial animals?
A. Gir-offs.

Q. Where do tall African animals go when they die?
A. To the giraffe-ter life.

Q. How did the giraffe know he was the tallest in the world in 1933?
A. King Kong tried to climb him.

Q. Which animal at the zoo makes rude and mocking remarks at human visitors?
A. The Jeer-affe.

Q. What happened after the giraffe swallowed a dictionary?
A. Now he has thesaurus throat.

Q. What do baby giraffes eat?
A. Gerber-affe food.

Q. Why did vets at the zoo quarantine the tallest animals?
A. 'Cause they were germ-affes.

Q. What is a female giraffe called?
A. Girl-affe.

Q. Who won the big giraffe race?
A. It's still neck and neck...

Q. What do you get when you cross a bull with a giraffe?
A. A gore-affe.

High Hopes Pick-Up Line: Hey Girl, I wish you were a giraffe so we could do some serious necking.

Q. What do you call the hind end of a giraffe?
A. The rear-affe.

Q. Who designs all the signage for the zoo?
A. The giraffic artist.

Q. What did Maasai tribesmen call the animal that stumbled into a tanzanite mine?
A. The gem-affe.

Stoner Giraffe Pick-Up Line: Hey Mary Jane, is it true that you're always longing to be this high?

Q. What is the left side of a giraffe called?
A. The gir-half.

Q. Who keeps law and order throughout Tanzania and Kenya?
A. The sher-affe.

Q. Why did the highway patrolman decide to become a game warden in Africa?
A. He thought he'd enjoy being a giraffic cop.

Did you know that Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the neck? All of its descendants are known as giraffes.

Q. What do you get if you cross a needle nose fish with a tall African mammal?
A. A gar-affe.

Q. Which African wildlife refuge is inhabited by herds of giraffes?
A. Giraffic Park.

Q. Which animals consider all the possibilities of things that may occur during any safari scenario?
A. Gir-ifs.

Q. Who carries all the equipment and supplies on the safari through Kenya?
A. The gear-affe.

Q. Why did Timothy Leary spend time in East Africa in 1960?
A. He wanted to study the giraffe-ter effects.

Q. What did the psychiatrist say to the really tall guy who thought he was a giraffe?
A. Necks, please!

Q. What do you get if you cross a giraffe with a cow?
A. A gir-calf.

Q. What do you get if you cross a giraffe with a rat-like animal?
A. A gerbil-affe.

Q. What do you get if you cross Sonny Bono's wife with a tall African animal?
A. Cher-affe.

Q. What do you get if you cross a pig and a giraffe?
A. Bacon and legs.

Q. What is the tallest amimal found in Africa's Rift Valley?
A. The Gir-rift.

Q. What do you call the most stupid, selfish and annoying animal at the zoo – after it spit at you?
A. Big jerk-affe!

Q. How do you refer to a female giraffe?
A. Her-affe.

Q. Who officiates at the biggest Tanzanian soccer matches?
A. The gir-ref.

Q. What should you never ask a giraffe?
A. Do you play basketball?

Giraffe Pick-Up Line: Hello down there. Girl, we'd be the same height if we were lying down.

Q. Which African animals are an easy target for near-sighted vampires?
A. Giraffes.

Q. What do you get if you cross a stray dog mutt with a giraffe?
A. A cur-affe.

Giraffe Pick-Up Line: Hey girl, if I bend my knees, I'll still be up to your standards.

Q. What do you get if you cross giraffe with a German Shepherd?
A. A Gir-ruff.

Q. What should you never ask a giraffe?
A. Are your parents tall, too?

Q. What is the featured animal of the day at the Paris zoo?
A. The jour-affe.

Q. What is green and hangs from trees in Africa?
A. Giraffe snot.

Q. Why do giraffes hate being bitten by vampires so much?
A. Because it's a real vein in the neck!

Giraffe Pick-Up Line: Hey bae, wanna see if what they say about the height of an animal is actually true?

Q. Which sci-fi series is the favorite of giraffes?
A. Star Trek, The Necks Generation.

Q. What do a giraffe wear to stay warm when it's very cold outside?
A. Long johns.

Q. Why shouldn't you try to become a giraffe whisperer?
A. 'Cause that's a bit of a stretch.

Q. Why did the tourist decide to make an unplanned visit to Tanzania on his vacation?
A. It was a giraffe-ter thought.

Q. What do you call a crude drafts of an African animal comic strip?
A. Gir-rough.

Giraffe Chat Up Line: Hey girl, it's a new and exciting world up here full of opportunities you never even dreamed of – NE for instance.

Q. What should you never ask a giraffe?
A. Hey, how's the weather up there?

Q. How does every fairy tale about Earth's tallest land animal end?
A. Happily ever giraffe-ter.

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