Q. How can you get a hippo to do whatever you want? a. Hipp-Mo-Tise Him!   PainfulPuns.com - Animal Puns, Wildlie Humor, Beary Funny Jokes!

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Q. What do you call a hippo that says one thing but does another? A. Hippo-crite!
Q. Which public transportation does a hippo use? A. A hippopotabus!

 

 


Hippopotamus Jokes, Pod Puns, Hippopotami LOLs
Swim along with drunken hippo-sot-amus puns, river horse humor, and hippopotamass jokes.

Hippo Jokes, River Hippopotamus Puns, Hip Humor
(Because Hippopota-Minor Jokes and Hot Zippo Puns Could Never Be TOO Mainstream for a Hippo-Not-Amus!)
Warning: Proceed Cautiously! Blip-opotatmus jokes, hip-poke-potamus grins, and hippo-lot-a-much puns ahead.
| Hippo Jokes | 2 | Giraffe Jokes | Elephant Jokes | Safari Animals | Gorilla Jokes | Bigfoot Jokes |
| Zoo Jokes | Wildcat Puns | Lion Jokes | Leopard Jokes, Cheetah Puns | Lynx LOLs | Tiger Puns |
| Bear Jokes | Panda Puns | Polar Bear LOLs | Kangaroo Jokes | Chimpanzee Puns | Monkey LOLs |

Q. What do you call a hippo with chicken pox? A. Hippospottymus!Q. What do you call a hippo with wings? a. Hippo-thetical!Q. What do yu call a foul-mouthed hippo? A. A hippopotacuss!

Q. What do you call a hippo with a runny nose?
A. Hippo-snot-amus.

Q. What do you get if you cross a hippo with a Dalmatian?
A. Hippo-spotamus.

Q. What did the hyena bully call the hippo with acne?
A. Hippo-dot-amus.

Q. What did the hippo order a round of at the bar?
A. Hippopota-mai-tais.

Q. What do you call a hippo with a Ph.d?
A. Hip-know-potamus.

Q. What do you call the hippo that always offers helpful hints and tricks of the trade?
A. Tip-opotamus.

Q. What do you get if you cross a hippo with a horse that likes to Gallup?
A. Hip-poll-potamus.

Q. What do you have if you've found a pod of 3.14 hippos?
A. Hippopota-pi.

Q. What do the cops call it when they arrest a gang of criminal hippos?
A. Hippopota-bust.

Q. Which kind of hippo is a pyromaniac?
A. Zippo-potamus.

Q. What do you call a hippo that starts boozing at sun up?
A. Hippo-sot-amus.

Q. What do hippo hop artists need to be heard over the hyenas and wildebeests?
A. Hippopota-mikes.

Q. What is a hippo's favorite kind of music? A. Hip-Hop!Q. What do you call a sloppy hippo? A. A Hippopota-mess!Q. What do you call a two-legged hippopotamus? A. Hoppo!

Q. What do you call a hippo prostitute?
A. Hip-HO-potamus.

Q. What do you call a hippo that drives a race car?
A. Hip-GO-potamus.

Q. What do you get if you cross a bonobo with a hippo?
A. Chimp-opotamus.

Q. Why wouldn't the bartender serve the crash of hippos?
A. 'Cause they were hippopota-minors.

Q. What do you call a hippo that just came out of the river?
A. Drip-opotamus.

Q. Which hair product keeps a hippo looking great all day?
A. Hippopota-mousse.

Q. Which animals hoard their valuables and riches outside the river bank?
A. Hippopota-misers.

Q. What do you get after a hippo gets stuck in quicksand?
A. Hippo-rot-amus.

Q. What is a deceased hippo called?
A. Hippo-not-amus.

Q. What do you call a hippo that's been hanging around the shady side of a tree too long?
A. Hippopota-moss.

Q. What do hippos use to quickly sail down the river?
A. A hippopota-mast.

Q. How is the land speed of a herd of hippos measured?
A. In hippopota-miles per hour.

Q. How do you vaccinate a hippopotamus? A. With a hippodermic needle!Q. What do you call an overweight hippo? A. A Hippopotamass!Q. How do you say hello to a hippopotamus? A. Hi Po!

Q. What do you say to a hippo standing still at a green light?
A. Hip-GO-potamus.

Q. What do you get after a hippo discovers cannabis edibles?
A. Hippo-pothead-amus.

Q. What do golfers call a hippo that's out on the course?
A. Hippo-putt-amus.

Q. What do you call a hippo that's into natural cures and remedies?
A. Herb-opotamus.

Q. What do you call the biggest part of a hippo?
A. Hippopota-most.

Q. What do you call a hippo with a rapidly expanding waistline?
A. Hip-grow-potamus.

Q. What is a very large hippo floating by called?
A. Blimp-opotamus.

Q. How do you describe the large size of a hippo?
A. Hippo-lot-a-much.

Q. What do you call the urge that drives a hippo to find a mate?
A. Hippopota-lust.

Q. What do you call a sassy hippo with a smart mouth?
A. Hippo-pert-amus.

Q. What do you get when you cross a horse with a hippo?
A. Hippo-trot-amus.

Q. What do you call a tongue-tied hippoi?
A. Hippo-knot-amus.

Q. What does a hippo doctor take? a. The Hippocratic Oath!Q. what might an old hippo need? a. A hippoperation!Q. What do you call a joly hippopotamus? a. Happo!

Q. What do you call a hippo that's cover in scabs from mosquito bites?
A. Hippo-clot-amus.

Q. What do you get if you cross a hippo with an elk?
A. Hippopota-moose.

Q. What do you get if you cross a yacht with a hippo?
A. Shippo-potamus.

Q. What do you call a hippo that was run over by an 18-wheeler?
A. Hippopota-mush.

Q. What do you get if you cross an octopus with a hippo?
A. Grip-opotamus.

Q. What is the slowest hippo called?
A. Hip-poke-potamus.

Q. What do you call a hippo that dances in a cage wearing white knee-high boots?
A. Hip-gogo-potamus.

Q. What do you call a hippo that likes to play poker?
A. Chip-opotamus.

Q. What do you get when you cross a rat with a hippo?
A. Hippopota-mice.

Q. What do you call a hippo observed by sonar?
A. Blip-opotamus.

| Hippo Jokes | 2 | Giraffe Puns | Elephant Jokes | 2 | Safari Animal LOLs | Kangaroo Jokes | 2 1 3 |
| Zoo Jokes | Wildcat Puns | Lion Jokes | 2 | Leopard Jokes, Cheetah Puns | Lynx LOLs | Tiger Puns |
| Bear Jokes | 2 | 3 | Panda Puns | Polar Bear Jokes | Deer Jokes | 2 | Buffalo and Bison Jokes | 2 |
| Wolf Jokes | 2 | 3 | Fox Puns | Mouse Jokes, Rat Puns | Rabbit Jokes, Hare Puns | Yak Jokes | 2 |
| Forest Critter Puns | Bat Jokes | Owl Jokes, Owl-ful Puns | Animal Poop Puns | Sea Mammals |
| Gorilla Jokes, Big Ape Puns | 2 | 3 | Bigfoot Jokes | Sasquatch Jokes | Colorado Bigfoot Jokes |
| Chimpanzee Puns | Monkey Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | Stoner Monkeys | Animal Potheads | Animal Bar |
| Insect Jokes, Bug Puns, Entomology LOLs | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Bee Jokes, Hive Humor, Wasp LOLs | 2 |
| Butterfly Jokes, Moth Puns, Caterpillar LOLs | Housefly Jokes | Spider Jokes, Arachnid Puns | 2 |
| Frog Jokes and Toad Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Snake Humor | 2 | 3 | Dinosaur Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
| Lizard Laughs | Crocodile Jokes, Gator Puns | Turtle Jokes, Tortoise Puns | 2 | 3 | Reptile Humor |
| Vet Jokes | Scary Animal Jokes | Animal Music Jokes | Animal Pick-Up Lines | Xmas Animals |
| Duck Puns | Goose Jokes | Fish Jokes | Finny Fish Puns | Sports Animal Jokes | Bronco Puns |
| Wild Animal Jokes | Colorado Wildlife | Farm Animals | Pet Animal Puns | Animal Crime Jokes |


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