Q. Which French seer claimed he could smell the future?
A. Nostrildamus.

Q. Why did the monster take his nose apart?
A. To see what made it run!

Q. Where does a gainfully employed nose work?
A. At the olfactory.

Q. What is a nose without a body called?
A. No body nose!

Q. What did the elephant say to the naked man?
A. Cute, but can you breathe through it?

Q. What happened to the thief who stole a clown's nose?
A. The cops caught him red-handed.

Q. What should you do before having facial reconsturction surgery?
A. Pick your nose...

Q. Where do plastic surgeons get all those new noses?
A. At the olfactory.

Q. What happens when a cow laughs too hard at Painful Puns?
A. Milk comes out her nose.

Q. How can you tell your nose is on strike?
A. You have to picket.

Q. What smells better than it tastes?
A. A nose.

Q. Why was the little first grade kid's nose so sad?
A. Because it didn't get picked.

Q. How can you break a redneck's nose without touching him?
A. Put a six-pack underneath a glass-top table. OUCH!

Guy: Did you know that the scientific term for mucus is called nasal ejaculate?
Bro: No, it's snot!

A tissue walks into a bar and the bartender asks if he wants a drink. Tissue says, "No you idiot, it'll go right through me." Bartender replies, "Well, you don't have to get all snotty about it.

Q. What did the optician say to the guy who complained about his blurry glasses?
A. If you're going to clean your eyeglasses with a tissue, do it before you blow your nose!

Stinking Funny Fact of the Day: You can pick your nose and you can pick your friends, but you can't pick your friends' noses!

Q. Why wasn't the Lego Man feeling well?
A. 'Cause he had a blocked nose.

Q. What is in a ghost's nose?
A. Boo-gers!

Q. How can you break a redneck's nose without punching him?
A. Put a $20-bill on the floor under a glass-top coffee table. OUCH!

Q. Why didn't the blonde work out while she had a cold?
A. She figured her nose could do the running instead.

Q. Why was the nose always so tired?
A. Because it never stops running.

Toilet Paper Point to Ponder: Is toilet tissue surprised if you use it blow your nose? Is that a pleasant surprise?

Q. Which facial feature is commonly overlooked by most people?
A. The nose!

Q. How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Just one, if he nose what he's doing.

Q. What do snooty connoisseurs call French bread with a wine-like aroma?
A. Nose scones.

Q. What is the difference between a boxer and a guy with a head cold?
A. One knows his blows and the other blows his nose.

Q. How do you know your nose is too big?
A. It runs, but it cannot hide.

Q. Why is Lois Lane deaf in one ear?
A. Due to the super snoring.

Q. Which kind of car does an ENT doctor drive?
A. A green Lamboogarghini.

Q. Why do farts smell?
A. For the benefit of the hearing impared.

Smelly Laguh of the Day: Nose jokes do smell, but eye puns are cornea.

Q. Why do Denver bloodhounds make great crime reporters?
A. 'Cause they have a nose for the news.

Q. What do a near-sighted gynecologist and a dog have in common?
A. Wet noses.

Q. Why did the guy have to buy an electric nose hair trimmer?
A. Because scissors just didn't cut it anymore.

Q. How can you make a dirty dog stop smelling?
A. You just hold its nose!

Q. How does a fisherman keep a big fish from smelling?
A. He cuts off its nose.

Q. Which is the fittest facial feature?
A. The nose because it never stops running.

Q. Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
A. Because they have big fingers.

Q. What did the guy say when his bro told him his nose was runny?
A. No, it's snot!

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